It's almost that time of year. That's right Overwatch fans, it's nearly Archives time!
The Archives event is an annual Overwatch event that places four heroes in a PVE scenario that tells a story from the history of Overwatch's world. This year's event, Storm Rising, will feature Tracer, Mercy, Winston, and Genji as they try to take down Doomfist's robot accountant.
So yes, a talking gorilla, a cyborg ninja, a scientist who dresses like an angel, and a time traveler are being sent to capture an accountant, who is also a robot.
Overwatch is pretty great.
But that's not why you're here. You're here for the main reason that any Overwatch fan gets excited about any Overwatch event: The skins baby!
So let's see what skins this year's Archives extravaganza is bringing to the table:
You can't run from the past.— Overwatch (@PlayOverwatch) April 10, 2019
Terminate your enemies as TALON BAPTISTE (Legendary)!
Chase the truth: April 16 pic.twitter.com/139OzDnzJs
First, we have Baptiste in his original Talon gear. Baptiste was originally a bad guy, and being evil also meant having much floppier hair. Although this is a legendary skin, aside from the new hairdo, there doesn't seem to be a ton different about this one. But if you wanted to see Baptiste as a bad boy, this is your skin.
Next up is Junkrat as a clown, which seems like they finally just gave up and said "yes we know he kind of sounds like the Joker!" Considering the Archives skins are supposed to show off a look from the characters' pasts, does this mean at some point Junkrat was a clown? Is his origin story born of some kind of circus accident? This is all starting to add up.
Soldier: 76 is looking pretty handsome in his Formal: 76 outfit. He looks like he just walked off the set of A Few Good Men, which just raises the question, what kind of character would Jack Nicholson be in Overwatch? Probably some kind of goblin creature.
Ok this one just looks cool. They gave Baston horns, and his bird is some kind of eyeball drone. They found a way to make Bastion even scarier somehow.
And then there's this one, where, they just gave her orange and blonde hair? They're not all winners. Although if you're gonna name the skin "Racer Zarya," why wouldn't you give her some cool racing stripes?! Come on Blizzard.
Here's McCree as a member of the Deadlock gang. I mean he doesn't look that different from other skins of McCree.....But he has a new hat.....
Moira with a tie and lab coat is just a good look. Also, her hands look more, pointy than usual. All it's going to take is one eyelash getting in her eye, and next year's skin is going to involve an eyepatch. But knowing Moira she'd probably rock an eyepatch.
Ok, if this how socialites dress then all socialites have to be evil. This looks like something straight out of The Hunger Games. Or something a Disney villain would wear while chasing down Dalmatians. However, I'm totally down with killing people with a pink gun that looks like a stick of bubblegum. Talk about blowing people away, amirite?
Really, all I needed was Hammond with sunglasses. Everything else is just filler. I can die happy now.
Decryption status: COMPLETE— Overwatch (@PlayOverwatch) April 15, 2019
Target located. Overwatch Strike Team deployed. Chase the truth. 🔎
Prepare for Storm Rising April 16. pic.twitter.com/KuFTjlM8vD
And finally, Blizzard also released a teaser video for the Storm Rising PVE campaign, which does indeed seem to take place in Havana. There's actually some cool stuff in the trailer, including Tracer riding a motorcycle (although, is a motorcycle faster than time travel?), and Genji appearing to cut a car in half with his sword.
The event begins on April 16 and will run all the way to May 6th, so if you're looking for an excuse to jump back into Overwatch, the Storm Rising event may be the time.
Seriously, Hammond wearing sunglasses. That should be all the reason you need.