Who came up with the concept of Paper Mario? Who decided that what the Italian plumber really needed, in the year 2000, was to be squashed even flatter than he already was? Someone let me know, because I wish to shake their hand.

As I mentioned in my Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door preview, I’ve never played Paper Mario before. I own a GameCube, but prices of the cult classic are sky high. I refuse to pay three figures for a video game, no matter how good people tell me it is. With the Thousand-Year Door remake as my first foray into Paper Mario’s adventures, I was immediately blown away.

As I also mentioned in my preview, Paper Mario blew me away like a paper aeroplane in a hurricane. The writing is funny, the turn-based battling is exciting, and the first three levels are visually and mechanically distinct. However, the remake seems very faithful, and while it does introduce the game’s transgender character to Western audiences for the first time, it doesn’t do anything to solve all the backtracking.