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Peeing In Death Stranding Won't Be As Fun As Postal 2

There's no better sign that we're living in a golden age of gaming than the prevalence of urination mechanics in video games. It isn't something that you would expect to be included in your average action-packed adventure, but thanks to the twin powers of technology and creativity, we've reached a new age of realism in interactive media.

Look no further than Death Stranding for the latest example of digital micturition. Hideo Kojima, being the madman that he is, has included the ability to weaponize your fluids against enemies, as well as some Dark Souls-esque multiplayer interactions if everyone tinkles on the same mushroom.

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However, as revolutionary as this all sounds, it's not the ultimate example of pee-based gameplay. Even with a massive budget and endless resources, games have still yet to surpass the pinnacle of player-controlled liquid excretion: Postal 2.

A Stroll Through The Bathroom Stalls Of History

via NeoGaf

While Kojima is a uniquely imaginative and talented individual, Death Stranding is not the first game to let you allow your onscreen character to relieve themselves. Bathroom based gameplay goes all the way through to the early text adventure Leather Goddesses Of Phobos, perhaps the very first game where emptying your bladder was a crucial moment in the game's plot. Duke Nukem 3D took it even further, by allowing gamers to use various toilets through the eyes of the mighty Duke himself. From there, the floodgates were open for future games to incorporate player influenced restroom stops, with titles from the Yakuza and The Sims franchises being among the latest.

But nothing has compared to the streaming destruction that Postal 2 allowed the player to unleash. Being an open-world game where madness and mayhem reigned supreme, the game gifted you with the opportunity to run around marking your territory anytime and anywhere you wanted.

Want to teach an unruly citizen some manners? Spray them down and make them show you some respect. Need to distract some enemies while you regroup? Use your tinkling techniques to buy you some time to get out of harm's way. Started a fire that's gone a wee bit beyond your control? Luckily you can put that out using a little ingenuity and your own personal fire extinguisher.

Postal 2 is the game that showed the world the extent to which developers could utilize urine. It gives you the freedom to treat an entire town as your private urinal, an act that's largely frowned upon in the real world. It so values this every-day activity that you can even expel napalm after you beat the game, which may be the greatest end game reward ever given.

Competing With Postal 2's Potty Powers

via Dualshockers

Death Stranding has a lot to prove when it comes to living up to Postal 2's legacy of leak-taking. Sure, peeing in jars and upon mushrooms is great and all, but we highly doubt Norman is going to be expelling napalm at any point as it would probably make him a little overpowered. While it does seem like the piddling isn't entirely a novelty feature and will have some actual gameplay uses, it likely won't be able to capture the euphoria of Postal 2's flowing fun.

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Still, this is a Kojima Production, and he's surprised us countless times in the past. It wouldn't be much of a shock if there turned out to be even more advanced methods of integrating urinating into the world of Death Stranding. It could end up being the villain portrayed by Mads Mikkelson's only weakness. Maybe the breach babies can be used as mods that alter your tiddling techniques, imbuing them with special abilities. After being advertised as a silly part of the game, pee might turn out to be the number one way of surviving in the remains of the United States.

The Tippy Top Of The Tinkling Titans

via Postal Wiki

Postal 2 is the high watermark for whizzing in games, and it hasn't quite been surpassed after all these years. Games like Red Dead Redemption 2 have allowed us to witness the process in glorious HD graphics, but the interactivity of Postal 2 has yet to be matched. Death Stranding has a slight chance to transcend the first person murder simulator as the premier pee game, although that's probably not high on the game's list of priorities.

Kojima may make a game that will move, confuse, and excite players with its bizarre story and atmosphere, but only one game lets us urinate on Gary Coleman for so long that he's forced to blast us with an assault rifle. It's safe to assume that Kojima won't be able to compete with that.

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