I did it. I beat her. I won the most important battle in Pokemon Brilliant Diamond & Shining Pearl. No, I’m not talking about Cynthia, I am talking about the impossible Pokemon challenge: beating Mindy. The problem is, you can’t beat her in the usual Pokemon manner of whipping out your overleveled Luxray and Sparking her into submission like everyone else in the game. No, this is a game of wits.

If you’re confused at this point, you obviously haven’t encountered Mindy yet. I first had the displeasure of meeting her 15 years ago when I first played Diamond & Pearl. Or should I say, when Mindy first played me. As our lead features editor Cian Maher recounted in the lead-up to the Gen 4 remakes, Mindy is a bona fide shit and the most evil character in the Pokemon series (and yes, that includes Ghetsis). A swindler and a thief, she offers you a trade; your Medicham for her Haunter. As we all know, Haunter evolves into Gengar by trading and who can be arsed to go through all that faff when a kindly NPC is offering you one on a plate?

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As soon as the trade is complete Mindy snatches the plate away from you, sending your crumbs of hope flying to the ground. Her Haunter, Gaspar, does not evolve once it’s in your possession. She’s given it an Everstone to prevent you from getting a Gengar. She’s lampooned you, and laughs about it in your face afterwards like the school bully after you’ve sadly handed over your lunch money.

I Am The Only Person In The World Who Has Mindy’s Gengar
Proof!
I Am The Only Person In The World Who Has Mindy’s Gengar

That’s why beating her is so sweet. But how did I do it? I used a sprinkle of subterfuge, a tidbit of trickery, and a trade with a friend. That’s it. Aforementioned lead features editor Mr. Maher traded with Mindy as a part of his playthrough - we needed a thorough review of the game, after all - and he kindly traded young Gaspar to me, sans Everstone. That’s it.

Technically I haven’t duped my Mindy in my Sinnoh, but I’ve duped a Mindy all the same. If only your Pokemon ventured out of their PokeBalls indoors in this game, I’d parade Gaspar the friendly Gengar in front of Mindy for hours on end. She’d likely be very confused, having her Gaspar still in her pocket, but once I explain the concept of parallel universes to her I’m sure she’d be upset that her scam had failed.

I Am The Only Person In The World Who Has Mindy’s Gengar
Exploring with my new best friend, Gaspar the Gengar
I Am The Only Person In The World Who Has Mindy’s Gengar

But my utmost revenge, dear reader, is this very article. I am teaching you all how to get Mindy’s Gengar against her will, simply by pocketing her item (which could come in handy when breeding competitive teams, by the way) and trading it on again. I’ve got it right there, in my party, a Gengar with Mindy’s OT. Gaspar. The Gaspar. And so could you, just as easily, all you need is a willing partner in crime, a Jessie to your James. I win, Mindy, and now you’ll lose forever.

Next: I Couldn’t Time Travel To Drifloon And I’m Mad