I know, I know - for 25 years, numbered Pokemon generations have been divided into two individual games and to change that now would be a bit odd. Red & Blue, Gold & Silver, Ruby & Sapphire… I’m not going to list all of them because if you’re reading this you probably already know all of them. The thing is, I’d like to think we’ve outgrown Pokemon’s infamous generation split. If Gen 9 truly is set to launch in late 2022, I hope more than anything else that it’s a solitary mainline entry in the same vein as January’s Pokemon Legends: Arceus.
Why do I want this? For a few reasons, actually. First of all, version exclusives are rubbish. They made sense back when everyone and their granny was playing Pokemon out on the green, armed with link cables and dusty cartridges, but are just frustrating in an age where the internet facilitates global Surprise Trades. I’m replaying Pokemon Sword at the moment and because I don’t know anyone who is currently playing Shield, I’ve been forced to deal with legions of hacked and illegal Pokemon in a vainglorious attempt to maybe, hopefully, probably never get a Goomy. It’s a joke.
Sword & Shield also made the exclusivity factor of its story redundant. While I think box art Legendaries are fine for some previous games, the presence of both Zacian and Zamazenta in Gen 8’s story is stupid. I know N rocks off with the other dragon in Gen 5 and other stories have featured all of a given generation’s proprietary Legendaries in the past, but your version’s alternate Legendary deciding it wants to knock about Galar with Hop? I’m a Hop defender and even I know that’s ridiculous.
On top of those two reasons, I think Gen 8’s decision to have alternate gyms in each game was a subtle recognition of - or admission to - just how pointless the whole double-pronged release schedule has become. It was an unnecessary gimmick clearly designed to slightly differentiate two very similar games. I don’t mind it as much with Brilliant Diamond & Shining Pearl given that they’re based on Diamond & Pearl, but also… I mean, we could have just got Brilliant, Shining Platinum, right? What’s the difference aside from some actively bad quality-of-life grievances designed to ensure households splash the cash for more than one copy? I’m 25 years old and my brother is 20 - we’re hardly going to share. All you’re doing is forcing us to be extra careful that we don’t accidentally buy the same one. Whoopdeedoo.
I might sound as if I’m moaning here - that’s probably because I am. Given how outdated version exclusives are, how redundant stories that attempt to span two games while restricting you to one are, and how obvious Sword & Shield’s efforts to make their distinctions apparent are, it’s clear that Game Freak is also aware of a need for change. At this point in time, I can’t for the life of me understand why it’s so reluctant to act on that. Nostalgia? Tradition? Some secret sales stats I’m not privy to that unequivocally prove that an archaic marketing scheme is essential for the continued success of the world’s highest-earning entertainment franchise?
Whatever the reason may be, I stand by my argument. While I love Pokemon and am somehow more excited for Brilliant Diamond & Shining Pearl at 25 than I was for the original Gen 4 games at ten, there comes a time when tradition needs to make way for modernity. If there’s one thing that Sword & Shield make clear as day, it’s not that Pokemon is too easy, or that Hop is bad, or that Pokemon may never properly function as a bona fide open-world game. It’s that Pokemon just doesn’t need two games per generation anymore - at least not two of the same ones.
Basically, Sword & Shield prove that Pokemon needs to stop messing around with a formula as old as I am. I don’t want Pokemon Table and Chair or Pokemon Spaghetti and Bolognese. Give me Pokemon Spaghetti Bolognese and call it a day.
For what it’s worth, I don’t even like Spaghetti Bolognese - if I’m asking for that, you’d better believe I’m being serious.