Pokémon is one of those franchises I can proudly admit I was around for since the beginning. I imagine my feeling is akin to how a veteran thinks about combat. They were there. They saw it. Now, of course, talking about Pokémon like it was a conflict is silly and I’m not trying to compare myself to veterans. Basically I know what it was like when Pokémon first hit. Everybody who was cool was playing the Game Boy games, collecting the cards, and watching the anime. Not to mention gathering other merchandise like action figures and stuffed animals. It became so popular at my school that even flashing a Pokémon card during, between, or after class was a punishable offence. That’s right they took our cards. Oh the humanity!
The series is now over twenty years old and just as popular as ever. Nintendo and Game Freak keep thinking of new ways to explode our minds. Who saw Pokémon Go coming? No one and it was awesome and continues to be addicting to a certain crowd. I gave up after a few months, but that’s not the core of my rambling. The point is Pokémon is huge, but it’s not without faults. There are certainly a lot of logic jokes in both the anime and games we can scoff at. While these twenty-five entries poke fun at some inconsistencies, they’re all in good fun, which is to say fans like me don’t really care. We’ll play these games no matter if they don’t exactly make sense.
25 Pocket Dimension Monsters
Nerd-Scribbles on DeviantArt made this piece of fan art. Have you ever wondered what life is like inside a Pokéball? Is it cozy in there? Are there tiny rooms that Pokémon can relax in like a pocket dimension apartment? Perhaps they sort of enter a cryogenic state of mind where their bodies freeze along with their minds. That’s the positive side of me thinking. It could be a worse fate than we can ever think. Imagine if a Pokémon exists in a state of mind where it could process thought, but had no body. It couldn’t do anything, but float around as an abstract thought until it was time to battle once again. Sure that’s dark, but it’s a question better left unanswered for the time being.
24 Tastes Like Extinction
What do humans eat? It’s a question fans often ask, but the answer is right in front of us. People eat Pokémon, duh. If every creature in the world is a Pokémon then naturally the only answer is Pokémon. There are examples in the show that show dishes made of the cute little critters like Magikarp. In the games the entry for Farfetch'd says it nearly went extinct after people hunted them for food.
Welcome to Diners, Drive-Ins, and Ducklett.
Those are just a couple examples and before you freak out let’s remember we eat cute animals in our world too. Granted a sheep isn’t going to be as smart, or sentient as any monster in the Pokémon universe, but you get my point. People need to eat.
Okay I have one final bone to pick with Hidden Machines. HM01, Cut, allows you to destroy tiny twigs in your way so you can progress.
Now I understand why a large boulder would hinder your hike, but what is a tiny tree doing in my way.
Perhaps the sprite work is just too poor for us to really understand how deep rooted these shrubs maybe are. Perhaps they are poisonous?
There have been instances where you could have just as easily bypassed it via climbing a fence right next to it. All in all I guess my biggest issue is the games blocking your progress with unnecessary problems like twigs. If security guards stopped me I would understand more clearly.
22 A Bolt Of Genius
The Pokémon series is based on a rock, paper, scissors like approach when it comes to combat. That is to say every Pokémon type has a weakness. Fire is weak to water and water is weak to electricity. Pokémon also have strengths. In contrasts to my earlier example, water is strong against fire, but fire still harms it a little. Some types have a complete shield against others.
Electric attacks don’t work on ground Pokémon at all.
Just like in real life a proper grounding will make sure lighting does not strike. That is except for the show wherein early on Pikachu is overcharged to the point where it can harm Onix. True it does get hit with water too as a lubricant, but it still seems implausible. Eh, whatever. That’s the show.
21 Fly Me To The Moon
Insaniiity on DeviantArt made this piece of fan art. Hidden Machines, or HMs, were kind of like a puzzle element thrown into the games. They almost felt a bit like Metroid, or Zelda. The powers you acquired through Pokémon opened new pathways previously blocked, which was a cool feeling to have. However, some of them don’t make sense in a variety of ways. Let’s first take a look at the HM02, Fly.
I’m like a bird I’ll only fly away.
You can teach it to most Pokémon with wings and it lets you travel around the globe in an instant with fast-travel. That’s super useful, but does teaching a tiny bird like Pidgey make sense? Just how exactly are you flying around with it? Either it’s stronger than I think, or that’s a big logic hole.
20 God In The Shell
Here’s a theological question for you all. Every Pokémon game introduces new legendries for you to capture. They started out being just rare, super powerful monsters like in the case of Articuno, Zapdos, and Moltres. From there things started to get crazy. These weren’t just unique Pokémon any more. They were turning into literal gods that helped create the planet and or see over certain areas like water. Pretty cool, but there’s one thing wrong about this idea and that’s that they can be captured. You can catch gods. Arceus is basically the God and you can wrangle him like it was nothing. That’s doesn’t make sense, but hey, who really cares? As long as they are strong and on my team it doesn’t matter to me.
19 Born With A Silver Spoon
Abra, Kadabra, and Alakazam are three of my favorite Pokémon from the original games. The pun is perfect and the evolutionary chain makes sense. Well it almost makes sense. There is one problem though. How does Abra evolve into Kadabra with a spoon in its hand? Does that imply that the spoon is part of Kadabra’s body? What’s more Alakazam has two spoons.
If these are evolutionary states then that must mean they can’t use their hands to eat right?
I guess this species eats a lot of soup and ice cream then. Let’s get real though. As strange as it is for Abra to suddenly have a human tool it’s not as weird as a world inhabited by monsters people can catch with balls.
18 So Shiny
There are two aspects of Pokémon that are only there for the truly hardcore players. That would be EVs and shiny Pokémon. EVs are special stats that determine a Pokémon’s growth and that’s about all I understand. Pushing that complex subject aside let’s talk about shiny Pokémon. Basically these are Pokémon with an alternate color pallet. For example, a Magikarp could be gold. That’s it. They’re not legendary by any stretch of the imagination. They’re just supremely rare so much so that I find it weird they are even a thing. Who cares what color my Pokémon is? As long as it fights well, that’s good enough for me. I do understand the need to obsess over these small details so don’t let me stop you.
17 Déjà Vu
The thing I find most criminal about Pokémon is that it’s the same thing every time. You’re a young trainer starting your Pokémon journey with a water, fire, or grass type Pokémon. You explore the world catching Pokémon, fighting other trainers, collecting badges all in the name of becoming the very best. While there are improvements mechanically between each new game it also feels dated and tired.
The yearly Pokémon cycle continues.
Even the weird challenges in Pokémon Sun and Pokémon Moon follow the same guideline. All that said I admittedly don’t mind. Going through a new region with different Pokémon is good enough to hook me every time. A small part of me does wish for a drastic change in the scale of Breath of the Wild though.
16 What Came First?
Kangaskhan is like a kangaroo, but one that looks like it was spliced with a rhino, or some thick-skinned dinosaur. As one would imagine, as it is a kangaroo like creature, it has a baby in its pouch. Well here is where it gets strange. If you hatch a Kangaskhan from an egg it has a baby with it. I feel like we’re missing an evolutionary link here. How can this critter be born with a baby? It is a baby too and not apart of its body like other two-headed Pokémon. It’s weird, but honestly do you really care? The Pokémon isn’t even that good so no one probably even noticed this egg thing. If you want something more fascinating look up the fan theories surrounding Kangaskhan and Cubone.
15 Voice Work
Do you find it strange that the Pokémon in the cartoon series say their own names, but the in game critters just growl? I sort of understood this train of thought at first even as a kid. To me I thought they used growls because the Game Boy cartridge didn’t have enough memory to hold all that data. The more the games evolved I had always assumed it would eventually match the voice work of the show, but I was wrong.
Why can Meowth talk?
Maybe this inconsistency will be rectified in the Nintendo Switch version of Pokémon. It probably won’t though because the series’ director, Junichi Masuda, has explained why they only use cries instead of voice work like in the anime. So there you go.
14 Garbage Pals
BON-9625 on DeviantArt made this piece of fan art. Remember when there only used to be 151 Pokémon? It was a number that felt more obtainable when considering catching them all. Now there are over 800 and that is an insane man’s game. Good luck to the ultimate trainers out there. Collecting aside though I want to give kudos for all of the variety. No matter what your personality is there is bound to be a Pokémon for you. Well, except for a few questionable entries. For example, Trubbish and its evolved form Garbodor are odd choices. They are literally sentient piles of rotting garbage. Who would want to cuddle with that? It feels like an idea ripped from EarthBound. Hey, at least those Pokémon can be used to gross out your opponents.
Here’s another HM roadblock with a similar dilemma to Fly. This time it’s about HM03, Surf, which is a move that let’s you sail through water be it a river, or an ocean. It’s one of those abilities that most water Pokémon should just know off the top of their head. Well, most anyway. Like Pidgey, teaching a Shellder how to Surf is baffling to me. It’s a clam. Last time I checked clams don’t swim at all in reality. They sort of scoot around with a weird tongue like appendage, but that’s about it. Swimming with a Shellder makes less sense than riding on a Pidgey, which again, doesn’t. And don’t get me started on how it’s evolved form, Cloyster, looks like a female’s undercarriage.
12 Four Moves?
I think it’s complete hullabaloo that a creature can only learn four abilities at a time. I would be less angry about it if not for two things. One, in the show Pokémon have no limits. Pikachu can just use anything it pleases, even Iron Tail! Two, in most of the games you need to have a Pokémon learn a HM move in order to finish it. For example, HM04, Strength, can move boulders out of your way.
Shouldn’t a fighting type Pokémon like Machamp know how to move a puny rock in the first place?
Why should I need to take up precious space just so I can beat the game? That’s why players have a useless Pokémon in their party they use as a HM slaves. Yikes.
11 Two For The Price Of One
When the idea of Pokémon was first introduced to the West via Pokémon Blue and Pokémon Red my mind was blown. Not the concept of collecting Pokémon either. I’m talking about the very idea that there were two different versions of the same game and in order to “catch ‘em all” you needed to have a friend with an alternate copy for trading purposes. That was a cool idea back then and one my friends and I loved. Now that I’m older it feels like a money grubbing scheme. It used to work like this. It keeps getting more complex too. Two games would launch then a special edition would come out as a buffer between generations. Instead of one special version, there are now two sequels per generation making the cost higher. It’s ridiculous.
10 Beware Of Tall Grass
The most outdated thing in the world in regards to RPGs is random encounters. I get why they were there originally. It has to do with hardware limitations I imagine. Thankfully as time went on and our consoles got more powerful this idea was put to rest. That is except for one gigantic series: Pokémon. They have made small improvements like shaky grass, but it’s still just a random crapshoot.
I’ll be waiting in the bush.
It’s not that I’m against the idea of getting attacked randomly because there are counter measures to warding away unwanted attacks via various repel potions. It’s more about the fact that I need to go through countless battles in the hopes of finding a particular critter. It’s like being blind.
9 The Souls Of Evil Pokémon
Allow me to add an excerpt from the Pokédex regarding Drifloon. These are from Pokémon Ultra Sun and Pokémon Ultra Moon. Oh and I should mention Drifloon is a Ghost type Pokémon. I think that’s all the setup I need. As I was saying…
“Wandering souls gathered together to form this Pokémon.” When trying to make friends with children, Drifloon grabs them by the hand.”
Now it doesn’t say this in any of those entries, but in other games the Pokédex mentions specifically that Drifloon grab children to then harvest for souls. What the heck is that? Doesn’t sound like a cute and cuddly Pokémon to me. I would rather pair up with Trubbish. I mean doesn’t that sound like a monster you would fight in Dark Souls?
8 Unrealistic Expectations
This one perhaps makes the least amount of sense if you applied it to. I’m referring to letting ten-year-old children go out and wander the world, alone, while they fight strangers with dangerous monsters. Oh sure some are cute and cuddly critters like Pikachu, but others are crazy scary like Drifloon. I don’t know about you, but if I was exploring the world at ten and ran into something like that I would scream.
There are so many other horrific Pokémon that would attack a child into a squishy pulp. And that’s just the Pokémon side of things. What about shelter? What about education? What about food? What about kidnappers? If I were a parent I would have a heart attack thinking about my child every second.
7 Flame Out
No matter what you do to a Pokémon in battle it just always feints. Why do they never perish? Let’s look at Charmander for example. The Pokédex entry mentions that if the flame on its tail goes out it will be a goner. Shouldn’t my water blasts have destroyed countless Charmander by now? You could easily explain that away and so you never hit the tail. Ok then what about the fact people eat Pokémon, or that there is a Pokémon graveyard in Lavender Town. Pokémon indeed perish, but only off-screen which is strange.
When will Pokémon get the gritty, more realistic spin-off it deserves?
Kidding. That would be horrible. No one wants to see Pikachu wielding dual pistols like in Shadow the Hedgehog, or do they?
6 A Crushing Birth
The Daycare Center was first introduced in Pokémon Gold and Pokémon Silver and has remained a staple for the series ever since. You can leave Pokémon with the caretakers and they will gain experience based on the amount of steps you take. If there are two compatible Pokémon in the pin sometimes they will produce an egg. That’s cool and all, but Pokémon mating has some issues.
For example, mating with a Ditto will always result in the youngest evolution state of the other Pokémon. It’s an easy way to breed starter Pokémon to trade for other starters. One Pokémon pair that is truly odd is Wailord, which is a giant whale Pokémon. How does that thing do the nasty with Ditto, or any other smaller critter?
5 Not My Type
The Pokémon games have stayed virtually the same since it’s Western debut in 1998. You would think that after two decades players would get bored, right? Well they change just enough to keep things interesting. While I applaud some efforts I boo others. For example, creating new Pokémon elemental types. It began with normal, fire, fighting, water, flying, poison, electric, psychic, ground, rock, ice, bug, ghost, and dragon types. In the next generation they introduced dark and steel types, which was fine. Then it went unchanged until the sixth generation when fairy types were introduced in Pokémon X and Pokémon Y, which altered a lot, retconning a ton of Pokémon. Now if this happened in generation two this would be more understandable, but why wait so long to do this?
4 Jingle Keys
Kota-ken on DeviantArt made this piece of fan art. With every batch of Pokémon for the new entries there is bound to be some duds. Some are more troublesome than others. Nintendo and Game Freak seemingly had run out of ideas when they invented Klefki. What is that? Oh I’m glad you asked. It is literally a key ring that floats, which I guess makes sense since it is a fairy type.
Klefki is more Digimon than Pokémon.
Now there are some uses I could see for Klefki as a tool, but not necessarily as a Pokémon. For example, being able to open any lock would be pretty awesome. Having someplace to put your keys would be a swell idea too. I would never want to use it in battle though.
3 Dude, Where’s My Bike?
If there is one thing I despise in open world games it is limited space. Two of the best examples, Fallout and The Elder Scrolls, are great games, but dang is it ever annoying when you get encumbered. It happens so fast! Thankfully that’s not the case with Pokémon. Well, sort of. You don’t have unlimited space exactly, but there is no weight distribution. A potion weighs the same as a bike for example. Hey, wait a minute.
How exactly does a bike fit into one’s backpack?
That doesn’t make any sense. I guess you could theorize they have capsules like in Dragon Ball Z. They do have Pokéballs with pocket dimensions so that seems logical. Let’s just pretend that is the case and leave it at that.
2 Rock On
There is an aspect of Pokémon that is perhaps the most barbaric ritual out there. That is a place known as The Safari Zone. This area holds a ton of rare Pokémon only accessible there. You pay a small fee, are given special Pokéballs, bait, and rocks. You’re also only allowed only a certain number of steps before you are called back otherwise the area is your playground.
In case you scanned over it briefly let me reiterate that. You are given rocks to throw at Pokémon. It makes playing such a miserable experience for all. Sure getting electrocuted may be worse than getting hit by a rock, but at least that is between monsters. This is a kid chucking stones at a creature. It just feels worse.
1 Really? In A Kids Game?
There are three controversial things in video games that stir up parents and politicians. First, there is extreme violence. Second, we have nudity. Third, and most important for this entry, gambling. If you want to start a controversy put those three extremes into a game for kids and watch the hate pour in. While Pokémon doesn’t have nudity, or extreme violence it does secretly have gambling and no I don’t mean the casinos. I’m talking about money earned from battle. It doesn’t explicitly say before, or after, but you have to imagine your character and opponent haggle over how much they are each willing to gamble on the match. It’s especially disconcerting in regards to the preschoolers you fight. That’s just mean. Like taking candy from a baby.