If you’re a veteran of the gaming industry, you’ll have seen all kinds of franchises come and go. Some will hit the big time and surprise you, while others will start strong and then fizzle out. You can never be quite sure how time’s going to treat a franchise.
Pokémon, needless to say, is doing just fine. It’s interesting that a super niche-sounding collectathon concept would go on to explode like it did.
I’m one of those fans who has been there since the very beginning. The late-nineties height of Pokémania, schools across the planet banning the cards (which, naturally, only inspired the most booming black market), rushing home after school to watch the show, super-sweet Pikachu sneakers… I fondly remember it all.
It’s a little frightening to think that Pokémon Red and Blue are approaching their twentieth anniversary this September. I feel like I’ve aged about fifty years just saying that, and am planning on dying my hair jet black and buying a Harley Davidson at the very thought of it. That’s just the way it is, though, and we’ve got to make our peace with it.
What’s the best way to pay tribute to these iconic Game Boy titles, then? With a genwunner’s dream, that’s how: All 150 original Pokémon, officially ranked (in ascending order). I’m sure to make some controversial choices along the way, so hop on board, check it out and let us know your own thoughts.
150 The Splashing One
Well, what else did you expect to see? The worst of the worst, Magikarp exists only to be the cost you must pay for a powerful Gyarados.
149 The Stinging One
A very slight gnat-step above Magikarp, Weedle is one of Pokémon Red and Blue’s earliest, most worthless encounters.
148 The Squirming One
A bit of a Mortal Kombat reskin of Weedle, Caterpie at least evolves into something moderately useful later.
147 The Transforming One
Way back in the day, Ditto had to manually transform into its opponent, making it even less practical.
146 The Every-Dang-Where One: Zubat
Remember those nightmares you had about Mount Moon? It was this feeble thing, attacking you every eighth of an inch you moved, but Zubat was a pest — a useless pest.
145 The Bitey One
Oh, so your Rattata is in the top 90% of Rattatas? It’s still shockingly bad, though. You can’t polish a… rodent.
144 The Goldfish One
Much as I’m a fan of goldfish, this weakling is a definite Simon Cowell-style no from me.
143 The Gusty One
Along with Rattata, Pidgey makes up the other half of the worthless early catches duo.
142 The Talky One
Team Rocket’s Meowth at least had a snarky personality. This thing’s got very little going for it, from a gameplay standpoint.
141 The Flappy One
I guess you could call this thing the hipster’s Pidgey. It’s about on par in terms of usefulness.
140 The Harden One
About twenty years later, Kakuna actually learned a STAB move (via tutor), making it modestly better than its pre-evolved form.
139 The Repetitive One
Yep. Metapod is exactly the same as Kakuna, only with that slightly unnerving starey eye (which could, conceivably, give it a slight edge in battle).
138 The Snakey One
Arbok may be another OG Team Rocket Pokémon, but it’s one of the weakest Poison-types available.
137 The Horn One
Nidoran doesn’t look like it’ll be worth the effort early-game, and for a long time, it isn’t.
136 The (Female) Horn One
Almost identical to Nidoran (M), the female of the species is another low-budget Poison-type that will take a long time to reach its potential.
135 The Puffy One
One of a great swathe of forgettable generation one Normal-types, Jigglypuff scores big on cuteness but very low on practical use.
134 The Cutesy One
Speaking of which, here comes Clefairy, who is statistically questionable and reliant on the super-rare Moon Stone to evolve.
133 The Sandy One
A forgotten Ground-type, the desert-dwelling Sandshrew is another that has little beyond cuteness to offer.
132 The Firefox One
Snarky internet browser jokes aside, Vulpix is a Fire-type that was sorely outclassed by others. It’s relevant almost solely for its hidden ability, Drought (which it received much later).
131 The Budding One
The first generation of Pokémon was chock full of Grass-types, and Oddish did very little to set itself apart.