Writing about video games for a living is weird. On one hand, I am extremely lucky - I’ve been playing games since I was four years old and getting to convert my passion into articles that thousands of people read on the world wide web is pretty cool. On the other, monetising your hobbies is a double-edged sword. Crunching through massive RPGs to meet arbitrary review embargoes is exhausting and unenjoyable, while the constant cogs of idea generation whirring as you whirlwind through a game you should probably be enjoying creak and screech desperately for scarce oil. It has become incredibly difficult for me to play a game without involuntarily and constantly recognising its inherent link to work. There are, of course, worse problems to have, although it’s important for us to occasionally air even our most minor grievances. Basically, this is how I usually feel about my job.
There are times of real respite from this line of thinking - times where we are reminded why games are so uniquely special. I’ve written about this phenomenon several times before, from the impact of The Last Guardian’s brilliant artistry to how Dragon Age is inspiring the games industry’s next generation. Sometimes, though, this respite comes from sillier, less ostensibly artsy origins. Sometimes it comes from grinding a Pokemon MOBA for dozens of hours until you finally climb to the top of the competitive ladder and earn yourself a thunderous clap on the back that simultaneously says ‘Well done bud’ and knocks the wind right out your gob.
Ever since it launched for Nintendo Switch back in late June, I have been fleetingly obsessed with Pokemon Unite. Some weeks, I’m too busy to play - I have to work, exercise, spend time with family, visit friends, and so on. Others, I’ve got some much welcome free time. In my head, I often like to think I’ll play Deathloop or read some Camus. What usually happens, though - at least over the last three and a half months - is I say “I’ll just jump on Unite for a quick match,” which inevitably transforms into a six-hour binge of despair, triumph, and everything in between.
Three and a half months on, I’ve finally managed to hit Master rank in Unite. While this might seem insignificant to some, there’s something about the milestone that has given me an immense sense of catharsis - it’s like I’ve finally become the very best, like no one ever was, except it’s in a game full of toxic manbabies instead of a world filled with cool Pokemon.
It’s more profound than that, though. Last night, at around 11pm, there were two minutes left in the match that would decide whether I made it to Master or not. I was jungling as Greninja and had a couple of levels on the enemy Absol. Fortunately, my team was good and we made a coordinated push for Zapdos. Unfortunately, I ulted, took out three enemies, and died in the maelstrom of the fight for Zapdos’ final sliver of health.
The screen erupted into chaos and all I could do was sit there, watching the respawn timer wind down from 32 seconds. All of a sudden, our Blastoise ulted and took out both Zapdos and the remaining two enemies - together with Cinderace and Garchomp, they dunked 300 points and the enemy team surrendered. I fist-pumped the air as if it was a painting of Oliver Cromwell. I had finally done it - Pokemon Unite Master rank. All those dozens of incessantly infuriating hours had paid dividends at last.
The reason this felt profound for me is because it was the first time in a long time where I felt a sincere sense of accomplishment from playing a game just because I wanted to. When you play a bunch of new games every single month for work, on top of whatever ones you’re reviewing or guiding, it can be difficult to stop and appreciate your achievements. Metroid Dread is hard as nails, but in my frenzy to finish the game in time to review it, I never fully realised the triumph in defeating an EMMI in the same way as someone who was playing at their own pace. For about a week after launch, I was the number one New Pokemon Snap player in every single category - globally. Did it matter? Not really. I’d pumped almost 100 hours into it throughout the review period and it was just, like, a thing I did.
Reaching the top competitive tier of Unite, however, feels different. It’s like I’m 16 again and sweating multiplayer shooters with my mates during the summer holidays. Nobody is asking me to play it. I write about it quite a bit, but only because I want to - despite over nine million people playing on Switch and over 30 million having installed it on mobile, you’d be surprised by how few Unite players actively read about it outside of build guides. When I boot up Unite in the morning before work and at night before bed, it’s because I actually want to play it. I want to learn more about it, become better at it, and climb the ladder to reach the ceiling and Slash my way through it. While I’ve now done that - which I’m still over the moon about - I have no desire to stop playing. You can’t get relegated from Master, sure, but it does operate as per a points system that designates clear rankings within its own self-contained ecosystem. I’m in the best rank, but I’m not the best player - I probably never will be. Does that make me want to stop trying, though? Absolutely not. I haven’t felt this way about a video game in years.
Oh, also - all that pay-to-win stuff? Nonsense. I’ve put in a tenner, didn’t use it to buy item enhancers, and am literally Master rank. I already argued it wasn’t pay-to-win ages ago, but now that I’ve climbed here as an F2P player outside of some minor cosmetic stuff that doesn’t give you a competitive advantage, I have unequivocal proof of it. If you’re complaining about Unite being pay-to-win, you probably just need to spend less time moaning and more time practicing, innit.
I love video games - if I didn’t, I wouldn’t write about them all day, every day. Sometimes, though, it’s easy to forget why I love them so much. Busy weeks and busier weekends can sometimes make playing games feel like something I need to do instead of want to, but that’s missing the whole point about why I pursued this career in the first place - to do something I care about and share it with other people who care about it, too. Thanks to Pokemon Unite, I’ve remembered how important that raison d’etre is. I may have already reached Master rank, but there’s a long way to go yet.