26 Weird Things About Pokémon Anatomy

Yes, folks. I’m back with yet another Pokémon article. We all love Pokémon, you wouldn’t be here if you weren’t. Now, we all have our favorites and have wonderful memories thanks to this incredible franchise, but I’m here to get into the nitty-gritty. Over the years and across the gens, the Pokédex has spouted some interesting information regarding the features of various Pokémon. From the obvious to the ridiculous, the handy device has given us some crazy facts regarding Pokémons’ bodies and abilities. Of course, over time certain things have been changed or outright retconned as the story developed. However, the Internet never forgets, and you can find every Pokédex entry that has ever been on there. This means that every weird fact about Pokémon is available to scrutinize, laugh at, or critique.

Whether it’s talk of eating entire mountains, having a bias against certain kids, or being able to digest literally anything, Pokémon are unique creatures that apparently have a lot going on. There are hundreds of them at this point, so of course, there is gonna be some wild stuff going on with some of them. I mean, this is a world where multiple element-controlling gods walking the earth but we can’t imagine some of them having multiple organs or something? As if, come on, people. But what are some of the wildest things we have ever been told about Pokémon anatomy? What were your favorite ones? Did we miss any other crazy Pokédex entries?

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26 Metapod Has Guts…For Now

Via Pokemon,wikia.com

Ah, Metapod, you are truly useless. All Metapod does is sit around and harden. That being said, there is supposedly a reason for Metapod’s habits. In Pokémon Sun, the Pokédex entry states that ‘Its shell is filled with soft innards. It doesn’t move much because of the risk it might carelessly spill its innards out.’ Excuse me, what?? That is the worst evolution tactic I have ever heard of. That being said, it takes a lot of guts to stay motionless to protect yourself, unable to move away from danger for fear of injuring yourself.

25 Yveltal Is The Bringer Of The Apocalypse

via alphacoders.com

When thinking about the apocalypse, people like to imagine all kinds of gross things; zombies, epidemics, nuclear attacks. But what if I told you that the end of all life on earth will depend on the survival of one red bird? In Pokémon Y, the dex states that ‘when its life comes to an end, it absorbs the life energy of every living thing and turns into a cocoon once more.’ Cool, so this bird that can be defeated by a literal child is what stands between us and the end of the world.

24 Yamask Has Some Identity Issues

via: pokemon.wikia.com

So, many religions, people, and texts claim to know what happens after we lose our lives. Whether it is heading to an afterlife or simply nothing, there are many theories floating around. However, we do know a spooky version of this that happens to some humans in the Pokémon universe. Apparently, the mask Yamask carries around is a mask of its old human face from when it was alive. As if to rub salt into the wound of an already intense sentence, the dex adds ‘Sometimes they look at it and cry.’

23 Spoink Bounces Into Action, Forever

via: pokemon.wikia.com

Do you know how certain animals like sharks have to swim non-stop their entire lives or else they will go into cardiac arrest? Well, there are Pokémon that have the same issue too. It turns out that Spoink also has to bounce continuously throughout its life or face potentially life-threatening consequences. This means that whenever you defeat one and it faints, it could lose its life because of you. Bet that feels nice to know, doesn’t it?

22 Lampent Will Use You To Fuel Its Fire

via pokemon.wikia.com

Turns out that the typical items used to fuel a fire aren’t enough for Lampent. Wood, newspaper, dried foliage; none of these is good enough for a supernatural fire. No, instead Lampent prefers to just wait outside hospitals for people to pass on and then steals their souls. That is so freaking dark and spooky. Imagine waking up in a hospital and seeing a gang of these guys hanging outside your window staring at you while they wait for your end.

21 Kadabra’s Incorrect Origin Story

via: pokemon.wikia.com

We all have imagined waking up to an entirely different existence; being a new person, with a new job, a new life. Maybe you wanted to wake up as the princess of Genovia, or a hunter in a faraway land, or a superhero, perhaps even a wizard. Imagine this kid's surprise then when he woke up as a completely different species. In the FireRed Pokédex entry, it states ‘it happened one morning – a boy with extrasensory powers awoke in bed transformed into Kadabra.’ This is a lie, since he is an evolution, but whatever.

20 Magcargo Is Too Hot For You

Via: Pokémon Wikia

There are so many low hanging fruit jokes just waiting for me here, but I’m gonna just sidestep those. Do you remember the highest fever you ever had? Or the hottest place you ever lived in or visited? Well, Magcargo has all of us beat. Apparently, this guy has a body temperature of over 18,000 degrees Fahrenheit (approximately 9982 degrees Celsius). For context, the sun is 9941 degrees Fahrenheit or 5505 degrees Celsius. How does he not burn his way through everything? Will his Pokéball get hot or even melt if you catch him?

19 Larvitar Has A Mountain Of An Appetite

Via: Heavy

I know that I have said that I was so hungry I could eat a horse, then devoured as much food as I wanted until I had a food baby going on. However, even the greatest competitive eaters in the world have nothing over Larvitar. This bad boy can, and I quote, ‘it feeds on soil. After it has eaten a large mountain, it will fall asleep so it can grow.’ I know people say they ate a mountain of food but this is taking it too far.

18 Bewear Loves You A Little Too Much

via: pokemon.wikia.com

Bear hugs sound super cuddly and can be comforting, but cuddling an actual bear is a no-no. Perhaps the Pokémon universe you can hug them. I mean, if you trained and took care of a Bewear it might be fine, right? Wrong. This cute looking monster will destroy your spine if you cuddle it and many trainers have lost their lives after being enveloped in a Bewear hug. At least now we know why its name is similar to beware.

17 Metang Is Two Bedlums In A Metal Trench Coat

Via: Pokémon Wikia

So, although Metang is an evolution, it is literally two Bedlums stuck together. This is not the crazy fact, but it meant I could use the trench coat joke so it was worth it. The crazy fact is that Metang could literally smack headfirst into a jet and emerge unscathed. An actual military jet could hit it and Metang would be fine. That is actually insane. No existing creature could do that. Pokémon are freaking wild, man.

16 Komala Is In Eternal Sleep

Literally living the dream, Komala was born asleep and it will die asleep. The cutest not-koala will never awaken from its deep slumber and I am jealous. Supposedly, all the movements it makes and attacks it does are just it moving while asleep. That is super cute and I wish I could join it in this whole sleeping forever thing it has going on. Those of you who are eternally tired since birth will know what I mean.

15 Crabrawler Is The Biggest Drama Queen

via Peekerscitech

Nobody likes a sore loser, but Crabrawler apparently didn’t get the message. During battle, its main tactic is to guard its weak spots and look for openings in its opponents play. However, if it is defeated in a battle, it will foam at the mouth before fainting. That sounds dramatic enough on its own, but all defeated Pokémon faint, so Crabrawler is just being extra for the sake of it. I know it’s a crab but there’s no need to be so salty.

14 Poliwag’s Weird Belly

Via: Pokémon Wikia

One of the Pokémon I always remembered as a kid was Poliwag. His little belly swirl was so cute and I liked to draw him a lot. To me, his belly design was one of the coolest (and easiest to draw) things in the world. Also, he was a cutie in the anime, which helped. However, I was alarmed to discover that Poliwag’s swirl is not just a cute pattern in his design but his actual guts showing through thin skin. Excuse me, Gamefreak, but what the actual frick is this?

13 Blaziken Is Shooting For The Stars

Via: Pokémon Wiki

Anyone who has read my previous rants about Pokémon knows that Blaziken was my boy in Omega Ruby. He was the MVP of my team and I love McNugget with all my heart. Now, I did not know this, but apparently, Blaziken can clear a 30 story building in one leap. His special move is kinda the reason for that but I wish I’d known that sooner. He could have leapt from town to town with no worries at all.

12 Porygon 2 Is An Astronaut

Via: Heavy.com

So space technology has come in leaps and bounds over the decades and this is no exception for the Pokémon world. The world of gods and creatures has created a new kind of Pokémon; Porygon 2. This Pokémon was specifically designed for space travel but cannot fly. All I can think about is them catapulting this guy into space and just leaving it there. How did they even make it? Is there a team of Porygon 2 space explorers?

11 Vanilluxe Can Lose Its Head Sometimes

via pokemon.wikia.com

Vanilluxe is two ice creams merged together and given life. It is one of the Pokémon most pointed to when trying to prove that the Pokémon team have run out of ideas. That being said, you shouldn’t underestimate Vanilluxe. If it is attacked and loses one of its heads, Vanilluxe will survive and live ‘relatively problem free.’ Excuse me, what does relatively problem free mean? How does that work? What on earth is going on with this cute little Pokémon?

10 Turtonator Is Back With A Blast

via DeviantArt (Weasyl)

It’s a wonder that Team Rocket doesn’t keep a whole bunch of these guys on hand for doing crimes. While the Turtonator himself is an okay Pokémon, it's his back end you have to watch out for. You see, according to the Pokédex, Turtinator’s dung is an explosive substance used in a variety of things. Bet Officer Jenny has a hard time with these things. It’s a wonder there aren’t a lot of cases where this is used in explosive crimes.

9 Popplio Is Secretly Gross

via ibtimes.co.uk

When I saw the commercial for Pokémon Sun, I immediately took to Popplio. He was super cute and evolved into an elegant and beautiful Pokémon so, of course, I liked him. He has received some dislike over the years but I thought he was cool. But that all changed when I found out this little guy blows hardened snot bubbles at people just for fun or during battle. I know it’s boring balancing stuff but there is no need to go that far.

8 Ponyta Leaps Over The Competition

Via: Pinterest

Another high shooter, Ponyta is one of the iconic original Pokémon and one even people who aren’t into Pokémon can recognize as ‘the flaming horse from that show’ to quote my parents. While Ponyta is one of the coolest OG Pokémon it seems he has kept some cool abilities from us. Like Blaziken, Ponyta can jump darn high. Depending on your choice of Pokédex entry, he can either jump over the Eiffel Tower or the Uluru mountains. Not only that, but it has hooves ten times harder than diamonds.

7 Dodrio Has Triple The Organs

8- Dodrio
Via: LetsPlayVideoGames

Dodrio is a goofy looking creature with three heads on one body. It runs around like a chicken and is freaking fast. He’s great for riding for long distances and can be okay in battle. What this guy is hiding under its feathers are three sets of hearts and lungs. Let me emphasize; three hearts and six lungs in one tiny body. They say that this is why Dodrio can run so far and fast. That is some crazy Doctor Who stuff if I ever heard of it.

6 Venonant’s Eyes See And Do All

Via: LinkBookMarking

Venonant has some creepy eyes. They are so huge and textured, I don’t think I have ever seen one blink. It’s pretty unnerving, to say the least. While I personally am not a fan of Venonant, I was willing to give it a chance. Then I realized it’s a powerful weapon of destruction and don’t trust it one bit. While Venonant uses radar to see in the dark and walk around, its eyes also hold another secret feature. Like something out of an eighties movie, they can also shoot ‘powerful beams’ as well. Talk about creepy.

5 Dusclops Is A Dangerous Shell Of A Pokémon

via wikia.nocookie.net

People make fun of Dusclops for looking like a TP monster or mummy. While he does look a little goofy and like you could just pull his bandages and fall apart, you probably shouldn’t do that. Underneath those old bandages is a literal black hole that absorbs anything it comes into contact with. Many things have fallen inside of Dusclops, but none come back out. Maybe keep this guy in a Pokéball if you catch him.

4 Ash Should Have Left When He Met Haunter

via wikia.nocookie.net

Back when the anime came out, Haunter was just considered to be from another dimension. This was because it could move through walls just like a ghost, which led to the Tower of Terror episode back in the late ’90s. In the episode, Ash tries to catch some ghost types to defeat the psychic gym leader. In the end, he becomes friends with a Ghastly, Haunter, and Gengar, and Haunter licks him. In Pokédex entries from Yellow onward, Haunter has a poisonous tongue whose licks end the victim quickly – Ash should be gone by now.

3 Banette Is Coming For Revenge

via pokemon.wikia.com

The Pokédex is back again with a crazy fact that doesn’t make sense. According to multiple entries, is an abandoned plush doll given consciousness that can lay curses. Emerald onward took this a step further by saying it seeks out the child that abandoned it. With all this talk of dark energy and curses, you begin to imagine all kinds of awful things that would happen to the kid should Banette ever find it. This is spooky as heck but the problem is that Banette is an evolution, so this doesn’t make sense.

2 Honedge Really Doesn’t Want You Touching it…

via: youtube.com

Honedge looks like the kind of sword that some anime protagonist would walk around with or try to obtain through the series. While it looks awesome and is powerful, you had better not touch its hilt. If you touch the hilt of this Pokémon, the blue cloth attached to it will wrap around your arm and suck all of the life out of your body. Talk about an overreaction, but also it is good to remember that consent is important.

1 Mega Aerodactyl Is Literally In Agony

Via: Amino Apps

Mega evolutions are super helpful in battle. While you can’t use them often, they are powerful moves that can take your Pokémon to the next level of strength. Maybe reconsider doing it in the future, though, as it puts your beloved Pokémon in extreme agony. A mega-evolved Aerodactyl, for example, is more vicious because it is so powerful that it is in agony. The same can be said for any mega evolved Pokémon. Don’t believe me? Go check out all of the ‘dex entries and see for yourself.

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