I played the first Resident Evil game when I was fairly young. (Okay, well, younger than I am today.) It scared the heck out of me. The weird controls and rigid perspectives only heightened my terror as I roamed the hallways of that first mansion. If someone had asked me back then what the scariest game I had ever played was, I would have pointed them in the direction of the Resident Evil series with no hesitation. Now though...
I've grown older. I have re-played the games. Despite my love of them, there is something I have to admit: There are some things about those games that just don't make any sense. For those of you who have played Resident Evil, you know exactly what I'm talking about. For those of you who haven't but are extremely curious, let me tell you, the games make me chuckle more than scream nowadays. What was once the most horrifying game I could plop into my console is now a bit of a joke.
That does not mean I don't enjoy playing any of the games in the Resident Evil series. In fact, Resident Evil 7: Biohazard definitely brought back the scares for me (though it still had it's fair share of nonsensical moments). I would never try to dissuade someone from playing these games. Why would I try to stop someone from experiencing the laugh-inducing facets of Resident Evil? Read on if you want to check out these moments for yourself or, if you've played the game already, if you want to go over them with me one more time.
25 The Biggest Problem Plaguing The Series
Anybody who has played the Resident Evil series already knows what I am talking about right off the bat when I say that the dialogue is one of the oddest things about the games.
Our protagonists, be they Jill, Chris, or Leon, are often given the weirdest things to say in the face of the T-Virus. A zombie could have just attacked them, and they will respond in a stony fashion. The voice acting is a part of it, but the words themselves sometimes seem totally out of place. Anybody want a Jill sandwich?
24 How To Solve A Problem
One of the most shocking moments in Resident Evil 7 was when Ethan got his hand sawed off by his wife while she was in a deranged state. However, next thing we know, it's stapled back on and he has full use of his fingers.
How does that work? If you're going to tell me that magical herbs can heal anything, fine, I'll believe that. But if that's the case, why did Ethan's arm still have these ghastly stitches holding it together? If the healing worked, wouldn't there just be a bit of a scar?
23 Look At Those Matrix Moves
If the Resident Evil series has a central villain, Albert Wesker would be it. (This is kind of funny if you think about it, given how freaking zombies are the bad guys for the most part.)
He's dastardly in the first game, but he took a turn for the nonsensical in Resident Evil 5. He became this super fast and ninja-like superhuman who could move faster than a speeding bullet. Who knew that the T-virus could turn you into a discount Agent Smith?
22 So Much Nonsense, I Can't Even...
Resident Evil 6 has to be the least Resident Evil game of the Resident Evil series. What used to be a survival-horror game turned into a straight-up action game. There were so many moments that did not make any sense to prior iterations of the series, it was hard to pick just a few.
One of these moments is when Jake Muller and Sherry Birkin are chased into a mansion by a tank, have to escape on a motorcycle, and then have to jump over a helicopter on said motorcycle in slow motion.
21 Just Get Him Already!
The antagonist of Resident Evil 4 was the castellan of the castle Leon had to infiltrate, and holy moly, he was annoying. His high-pitched cackling and whiny voice added to your desire to end him.
What sucked so bad was that Leon was in the room with Salazar several times, had ample opportunity to take him down, but never did! Instead, Leon let Salazar monologue like a fool. And the one time Leon did go after Salazar, he chose to go after him with a knife instead of his gun.
20 The Need For Speed
This is another example of how far from the tree Resident Evil 6 fell. In the Chris Redfield and Piers Nivan campaign, the two of them have to destroy an aircraft carrier. So they hop onto Harrier jets and fly around shooting at it and at enemies on it.
As soon as the controls for flying the jet were handed to me, it felt completely out of place. Since when has flying a Harrier jet been considered something you would see in a survival-horror game? Never, that's when.
19 Getting Serious
Ever notice how when you get hurt in Resident Evil, you can just spray yourself with a healing spray or splash yourself with some healing juice, and everything will be all better? Ever think about how little sense that makes?
To be fair, this is an issue that plagues most video games, but it's especially nonsensical in the Resident Evil series since the injuries your character can sustain are that much more grievous. Ethan Winters from Resident Evil 7 was able to heal a chopped off leg with just a bit of liquid.
18 Having Time For A Little Game
The stakes are usually high when it comes to the plots of Resident Evil games. Someone's life is in danger or the whole world is at risk of becoming infected with the T-virus. As such, you would hope that the games' protagonists would waste no time in trying to accomplish their goals.
Leon Kennedy found the time to have some fun at a shooting range right in the middle of Resident Evil 4 even though he kind of has to rescue the president's daughter. No biggie.
17 Always Time For A Playground
The world could be falling down around his ears, but you can always trust Chris Redfield to keep his cool. A pretty neat Easter Egg that you can find in Resident Evil 6 is a playground with some cute panda-shaped equipment.
If you find it, you can get Chris Redfield to ride the panda.
I know it's an Easter Egg, and Easter Eggs typically lie outside of what goes on in the actual game, but you got to love the idea of Chris on a panda while zombies are running rampant.
16 Man's Best Friend
During the course of Resident Evil 4, Leon rescues a dog from a bear trap. Later on in the game, the dog will fight by his side against a giant zombie, mostly known as El Gigante. The logic for this moment is that the the dog remembers the kindness Leon did for it and decides to help him out at that moment.
That's all well and good, and it sure helps Leon with the fight, but how did the dog find Leon at that exact moment? And why did he pick that particular moment to give Leon a hand?
15 The Gator Battle
In Resident Evil 2, Leon has to get into (and survive) a fight with a giant alligator. One of the only weapons he has at his disposal is a knife. If that sounds ridiculous to you, don't worry. You're not alone in thinking that.
I barely believe that a person could take down a regular alligator with a knife, let alone a super-enhanced one like the alligator we see in the game. As a matter of fact, even developers of the Resident Evil 2 remake are trying to figure out how to make this moment seem less insane.
14 A Moment To Herself
The Resident Evil series has been known for its various puzzles that you have to solve in order to progress through a level. In the first Resident Evil game, one of the puzzles involves playing a piano.
If you picked Jill Valentine to play through the game as, she has no problem playing and continuing on her merry way. But Chris Redfield needs Rebecca to play the piano for him. What makes no sense about this is that Chris needs to leave the room in order for her to "practice" what she needs to play. Splitting up is just a bad idea.
13 Stop The Train!
Resident Evil 0 is a prequel to the first Resident Evil game. In it, the two heroes, Rebecca Chambers and Billy Coen, have to stop a speeding train. This is where one of Resident Evil's puzzles rears its ugly head.
Applying the brakes to this train seems needlessly complicated.
I do not understand how the regular operators of this train don't pull out their hair over how unrealistic the brake system is. Even a rocket scientist would pause to contemplate.
12 When All Else Fails...
Albert Wesker is an unstoppable force of evil in Resident Evil 5. He can dodge bullets, rockets, and punches like there's no tomorrow. When Wesker, Sheva, and Chris crash-land a plane onto a random and inexplicable volcano, Wesker transforms into this odd lava monster.
Sheva and Chris hop onto a helicopter in order to get away from the creature that Wesker now is, and then finish him off with...another rocket launcher? Why were these particular rocket launchers more effective this time around?
11 When Push Comes To Shove
Jill Valentine is always advertised as not being as strong as Chris Redfield. In the first game, you have to decide whether you want Chris' strength or Jill's "master unlocking" skills.
Yet, in Resident Evil 3: Nemesis, Jill was able to shove the Nemesis past some stone rails with a simple push. This is the same lady who has trouble moving large crates, but here she is shoving giant monsters to their end with no problem. Can someone point out the sense to me?
10 Where Did Leon Get Those Moves?
When Leon first enters this long hallway with lasers in Resident Evil 4, you have to guide him through the moving beams using patience and good timing. At one point, the game decides to throw all of that out the window and gives Leon some Quick-Time Events to do.
When you press these "dodge" buttons, Leon flips and rolls through this complex web of lasers as if it ain't no thing. No explanation whatsoever is given for the impossible maneuvers he was able to execute.
9 Where's Your Partner?
Assistance from the Deputy in Resident Evil 7: Biohazard was very short-lived (just like the Deputy). He gives Ethan a knife with which to defend himself, and is then almost immediately ended by Jack Baker, the infected head of the Baker family.
But the big question is why the Deputy showed up to the Baker's property without any back-up to accompany him. I know the bare minimum about law enforcement protocol, but I'm pretty sure that that's a big no-no.
8 The Crane Game
In Resident Evil 4, Leon can use a crane to pick up people and drop them into a waste treatment center. Aside from the fact that these enemies offer little to no resistance to being picked up by a crane, the whole experience reeks of nonsense.
Who designs a waste treatment center like that?
And how does Leon know how to operate this heavy machinery? And why does he spend his time carefully picking these guys up and dropping them in a hole when he could just smash them?
7 The Best Pilot (Not Really)
I'm telling you, Resident Evil 6 was just full of plain action moments instead of delivering on the horror we all so desperately wanted from the series. At one point, a plane is set to crash, and it's up to our favorite moody-guy Leon to land it safely.
You as the player have to nail a couple of Quick-Time Events in order to not crash the plane too badly. But seriously, what in the ever-loving universe qualifies Leon to land a plane? Did you see the controls for the plane? They look more complicated than Advanced Calculus.
6 Hear Him Roar
If you want a good idea of how ridiculous Resident Evil 6 could be, look no further than one of the bosses that you have to face up against. Resident Evil is known for having extremely mutated creatures as their baddies, but the sixth game in the series really pushed the envelope for ridiculous.
Derek Simmons turns into a large dinosaur.
Sure, he's got the grotesque adornments that most of the monstrosities in Resident Evil have, but that does not change the fact that he was a dinosaur.
5 Master Of What?
All fans of the Resident Evil series (and even a few non-fans) know of the line Barry Burton says to Jill Valentine in the first game, when he compliments her on being a "master of unlocking."
We all remember it as being one of the best poorly-spoken bits of dialogue in video game history, but the meaning of that phrase is also absurd. Barry was in the process of giving her a lockpick. All Jill needed to unlock a door after that was a locked door.
4 How Were You Holding That Camera?
One of the ways that Resident Evil 7 showed players glimpses of what they needed to do in order to solve a puzzle was have them play through a flashback in the form of old video tapes. These video tapes were made by people other than Ethan, and it is presumed that he watches these videos and then learns how to proceed.
But during these videos, we're supposed to believe that the characters experiencing the flashback are holding a camera the entire time.
3 All That Trouble Ends With A Spike
Remember that dinosaur boss I mentioned in an earlier entry? Well, he earned himself another spot on this list by virtue of his nonsensical passing. So Derek Simmons had turned himself into a gigantic dino-terror and wreaked so much havoc, yet his demise was so anti-climactic.
He falls and lands on a spike.
That's it. That's all it took to get rid of him. I felt so cheated after that. All of the ammunition I had poured into Simmons felt like an utter waste.
2 Is It Really A Choice?
Towards the end of Resident Evil 7, players must make a choice. You must either give Mia, Ethan's wife, a serum that will cure her, or you must give it to Zoe, the unfortunate daughter of the Baker family. You play as Ethan, so this choice makes little to no sense to me.
Aside from helping with the serum, Zoe holds no claim on Ethan.
The whole reason Ethan got himself into this terrifying situation was to help his wife, Mia. Abandoning her at this juncture would be akin to peeling a banana and then tossing the whole thing in the trash.
1 Punching The Boulder
In a television series, when a show "jumps the shark," it means that a moment has occurred in the show that is so different from what the show has been doing previously that you know the show will never be the same again (as seen in the show Happy Days).
In video games, this kind of moment is often referred to as "punching the boulder." In Resident Evil 5, Chris Redfield literally punched a boulder to get it to move, and that's when we all knew that the series would never be the same again.