Red Dead Online is, well, something to behold. While there are elements in there that could make this game the best online gaming experience yet, Rockstar has been slow in implementing helpful features and doing something about the insane amount of griefers that populate their western world. Nothing is more frustrating than fishing for an hour so you can get your gold and honor up, only to have some neckbeard camper wait until you reach the butcher to kill you or steal your wares. It makes the act of actually progressing in the story mode online somewhat impossible, and for people not looking for PVP gameplay, it makes for an all but unplayable and trying game experience.
But there is hope! Some of us here have put in hours upon hours online to try to figure out ways to make the game's griefers get driven insane, and we found some surprisingly effective methods of achieving just that. Here are five ways to punish the griefers populating the world of Red Dead Redemption online right now.
Quick aside, first and foremost the best advice we can give is try to create or join a private session with like-minded players. Though difficult, it is possible and can make for a much more enjoyable collected experience.
5. How To Break Free From Lasso Griefers
The handful of people who know about this trick right now feel like Gods in this game, and for good reason. Lasso griefers are the worst thing about Red Dead Online. They somehow thinking lassoing you makes them some Joker-like deity that decides who lives, dies, or stays tied up in purgatory in the back of their horses. While you can hit buttons to break free once lassoed, do you know how to keep yourself from ever being lassoed? We do. It's called a knife, and should be pretty easy to figure out (though very few have).
The moment you get lassoed, go into your weapon wheel and choose your melee knife. It cuts the lasso instantly, and if the lame griefer used it to try to get a closeup, clean headshot on you, you pop up and immediately stab them in the throat. There is little more gratifying in Red Dead Redemption Online than hearing some griefer genuinely baffled and upset at how you just did that.
4. Troll The Trolls
If people think lassoing or killing you is cool because it ruins your game, make them feel the opposite and take the joy out of trolling for them. In other words, leave chat and your mic on and when people get near you, beg them to kill you, or if they lasso you bust out reverse psychology and tell them "thank you". They are doing it solely to feel the empowerment of being an *sshole, so when you strip that element from them, you might just be surprised how quickly they collectively lose interest in you and go look for some 14 year old who will legit sob into their mic.
Don't give them that satisfaction.
Also, with a white flag hoisted in your camp, no one can attack. But they can see you and wanna kill you, so do what we do. Set up a camp near Saint Denis (high population, high traffic), and then go cook yourself dinner (in real life, in your actual kitchen) and come back to check now and then that 23 players are circling, waiting for you to tear down camp, lasso in hands. After about 30 minutes, they will wander off, one by one, and you will feel oddly satisfied inside that you wasted their time while not wasting your own.
3. Duck And Cover
This is another really simple method that new online gamers or people new to Red Dead don't know, but people are killing and hunting you because you are a giant dot on their menu (and a red one in PVP). But did you know that if you crouch when you run, it makes you a small, passive, gray dot on the mini-map?
You would think anyone who has ever played a PVP game online would know crouching ensures more safety, yet every time we play a PVP match, everyone is red but us. Suffice it to say, it makes ranking top in leaderboards far less difficult than it should be. Also, though it should be obvious to all by now, Red Dead Redemption Online's shotgun is insane, and if you are playing with any other gun, you will probably lose, as it is a one-hit-kill for everyone online. Now saving up for the shotgun? Well, good luck with that, honestly. Only 600 hours of grinding required, no big deal.
2. Camp and Cook
This one is pretty well-known due to a video that surfaced, and it seems to have some legs. The animations for cooking are "canned" meaning they often have to play out in full before they can be affected or stopped (which is why you could cook a "flaky fish" during a shootout in the main game as Arthur).
Some wise online players figured out that sometimes (not all times), if you are crouched cooking, griefers actually cannot stop the cooking animation and they can't seem to be able to harm or lasso you while you are in the process.
In other words, find a good spot on the map with lots of griefers, and sit down and cook 400 fish in real time, laughing while they unsuccessfully try to lasso you over and over, amassing a giant crowd of useless bullies you can laugh at from the comfort of your couch.
1. Set Up Traps
This one was kind of a new discovery in the office, and it has yielded some hilarious and incredibly gratifying moments. All it takes is thinking like "them" for a moment.
So go into open world, get to rank 15 (not easy but so worth it) and make some cash to buy dynamite. Lots of it. Then (in online free roam), go to a fairly populated area and scout it out. Now go a few feet in front of you and set up some dynamite on the ground. Walk about six feet away from it and simply take a knee.
The griefers will see you on one knee and assume "they got you" at which point they will approach to lasso or kill you. If you position yourself just right, when they get into position, you just quick draw and shoot the dynamite (or detonate it by hand). The griefer will not have the proper reaction time, as that is all but impossible, and you can't help but feel like they might have learned a life lesson from being blown ten feet in the air for trying to ruin other people's fun. Please note, this is even more satisfying if they are a whole posse, as when placed right, dynamite can easily kill five (and their horses).
Now with that knowledge gained, go unleash your inner cowboy and thank us later.