Over the years, there have been countless RPGs with incredible adventures that anyone would be lucky enough to be a part of. On the flip side, there are just as many RPG adventures, that while still wonderful, are absolutely adventures I don’t want any part of. Seriously, no thank you.
I don’t see there being many issues with winding up on an adventure with a stacked party, because they could carry me to victory, but some adventures are just too heavy of a task to undertake, even with the most powerful beings by your side. I’m only human, and I’ve got a sleep schedule I need to maintain.
10 Mario And Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story
I’m sure Mario and Luigi are pleasant company. I like Italians, and I like plumbers, so I doubt I’d have many issues getting along with the dynamic duo. The real issue stems directly from the situations they find themselves in during Bowser’s Inside Story.
At no point, I repeat, at no point do I ever need to be on an adventure inside of another living creature. Mario and Luigi can handle the situation with ease, but I wouldn’t even want to begin to try to figure out what to do once I realize I’m inside of Bowser’s gut.
9 Earthbound
Sure, Earthbound is one of the most beloved classic RPGs, but it is also fair to say that the game is a bit… weird. It’s that exact weirdness that makes me want to just avoid the whole adventure altogether.
I’m not fit for battling strange aliens, zombie beings, and all manner of strange creatures. I don’t know anyone who’d want to end up as a robot, or stuck in strange lands, or fighting against whatever in the world Giygas is. Just playing that fight is a bit of a nightmare, I do not need to have that in my life at all.
8 The World Ends With You
Anyone who’s played the underrated The World Ends With You will know exactly why I’d rather avoid the adventure as a whole. For starters, those involved in the story are characters who have died. I’ll just go ahead and avoid that for as long as possible, thank you.
If that wasn’t bad enough, there have been fan theories after the release of Kingdom Hearts 3 that the game will end up (if it hasn’t already) linking into the Kingdom Hearts storyline. I don’t need that kind of confusion in my life, and I don’t need to meet Disney princesses, even if they are perfectly pleasant.
7 Final Fantasy 7
It’s really not brought up much because it’s an RPG adventure, but Final Fantasy 7 has a scary story for the ordinary person. There’s some terrorism, the destruction of an entire chunk of a massive city, multiple slaughters, horrifying creatures, and of course, Sephiroth.
I don’t need to be wondering if one of my teammates is suddenly going to have a mental break that has them nearly chopping me to bits. Plus, knowing my luck, I’d accidentally wind up in the place of Aerith during her big moment, so don’t mind me as I catch some extra sleep at the inn.
6 Persona 3
I don’t need to say why I would rather avoid the entirety of Persona 3’s fantastic story like the plague, because it is probably clear for anyone who’s played through the game. Evokers are scary, no thank you. Aside from all the edge-lord complications that come with Persona 3’s story, the entire story is just too much.
I can barely manage my own personal life, I don’t need to be worrying about countless connections, and fighting shadows that late at night. I’m a man who needs his beauty sleep and that’s just not going to be possible with this adventure.
5 Fire Emblem: Three Houses
I’m perfectly happy with the friendship group I have in my life, which makes Fire Emblem: Three Houses a terrifying adventure on multiple fronts. First, I don’t ever need to re-experience something similar to high school, no matter how charming the other students are.
Second, I’ll be honest and say that I just don’t think I’m cut out for hand-to-hand combat in the midst of a huge war. If I got some kind of acceptance to the Garreg Mach Monastery, I’d just go back to bed and pretend like I never even got a letter.
4 Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door
It should be perfectly obvious why I wouldn’t want to join Mario on yet another adventure, I just don’t want to be paper. Paper Mario may not look like being folded into various creations to explore the world is all that painful, but I don’t want to find out.
Sure, climbing the ranks of a fight club alongside Mario sounds like fun, but all the hijinks involved with the many adventures featured throughout The Thousand-Year Door are enough to keep me snuggled safely beneath my covers.
3 Monster Hunter Rise
To be fair, you could ask me if I’d want to take part in any Monster Hunter adventure and I would reply with the quickest, “nope” you’ll ever hear. Some may be up for the challenge, but I’ve been to interactive exhibits before, I’ve tried on actual armor, and there’s no chance I’m doing that to fight vicious creatures.
Everyone likes to think that they’d be a big, epic action hero when faced with adversity, but if I came across any of the dinosaur-like creatures from the Monster Hunter world, I’d probably end up curling into a ball and rocking myself to sleep.
2 The Witcher 3
Would Geralt be wonderful company on an adventure? Possibly. Would I be able to last a day trekking through a harsh world filled with horrific creatures? Probably not. I wouldn’t even be any help for Geralt, I’d be a hindrance for sure.
Realistically I’d probably end up like a more useless Dandelion. Great for emotional support, but not much else. There’s no way I could do anything useful against the Wild Hunt, so it’d be best if I could just be left at an inn to sleep in and maybe play a few games of Gwent.
1 Borderlands 2
The entire world that makes up the Borderlands games is one that I would not want to experience. First, Claptrap is there, and that’s already a problem in itself, but also, Pandora is one of the most violent planets ever created.
Being a vault hunter sounds cool until you remember all the things that happened to Roland, Angel, Lilith, and Scooter, and it’s probably not a good thing that I could keep listing names. No guns for me, I’ll just hang out in a safe town, catch some extra sleep, and maybe chat with some of the kooky NPCs that are hanging around.