Star Wars vs Star Trek. Nintendo vs Sega. Coke vs Pepsi. These are the great head-to-head match-ups of modern pop culture. But none of them come anywhere close to the battle between DC's two biggest characters, the Dark Knight and the Man of Steel. It's a battle that existed long before 2016's Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice movie, and one that will continue long after the "Sadffleck" meme has been forgotten.
Whether we're talking one of the comic book titans' actual battles, or just the long-standing debate among fans as to who would triumph in a hypothetical battle, the duel between Batman and Superman has not only inspired many a heated nerd debate but also a wealth of internet comics that lovingly mock both the actual match-up and the people who discuss it so passionately.
In order not to offend either side of this intense debate too much, we tried our best to find a good balance between comics that favor Bruce Wayne's alter ego, and ones that show a bias towards the alien-born Kal-El. If you really dig into our picks, it is possible that you'll discover that we actually do have our own slight preference as to which of the two legendary comic book heroes we prefer-- but we won't say for sure one way or another.
20 Back To The Future
One of the more questionable moments in the original Christopher Reeve Superman movies comes when Lois Lane departs, and Superman decides that all he needs to do is fly so fast around the Earth that it causes the planet to rotate in the opposite direction which, in the logic of the movie, causes time to rewind and gives him the chance to save Lois.
It's utterly ridiculous, even for a movie about a flying man with ice breath who can shoot laser beams from his eyes.
Batman isn't here for 1980s Superman movie logic, and decides to point out to Superman that the concept of time isn't dependent on the Earth rotating in a certain direction. And besides, once Superman is aware he has this power, wouldn't he use it, like, all the time?
Art by HadenJax.
19 Can You Hear Me Now?
Sure, a suit that a human would have to wear in order to withstand Superman's awesome strength would have to be pretty thick and cumbersome. Dawn of Justice showed Batman wearing such a suit, looking like an Enclave soldier from Fallout 3.
We tend not to think that much about what materials Bruce Wayne uses to make his gadgets, since he was conveniently conceived of as having both unlimited money and unlimited materials. Where does he get all those wonderful toys? It's not supposed to matter-- he just gets them.
It definitely requires a fair amount of disbelief suspension, which is exactly what this comic is poking fun at.
Well hey, if Superman supposedly cares so much about Earth, he should be happy that Batman is keeping so many unwanted cell phones out of landfills, right?
Art by TyranneDragon.
18 The Great Cape Debate
One of the many memorable moments in Pixar's brilliant The Incredibles— honestly one of the best superhero movies of all time. Edna Mode is explaining to Mr. Incredible why his new suit shouldn't have a cape via a hilarious montage of superheroes being done in by their superfluous capes.
In his defense, Batman truly does have one of the only truly useful capes in comics.
Superman's flight is a result of his being able to alter his own personal gravity field, and has absolutely nothing to do with his shiny red cape. So why does he have a cape? Why do most superheroes? It really does seem like it would do more harm than good. Of course, we're talking about a guy who looks like he's wearing his underwear on the outside, so Superman obviously needs an Edna Mode in his life.
17 The Last Sun Of Krypton
Facts are facts: Since Batman is just a regular, mortal human with no superhuman powers, Superman could crush Batman with his bare bands like a soda can. The only way that there can be anything approaching an interesting fight between the two is if Batman is allowed to properly prep for the battle, as well as exploit Superman's reluctance to use his powers to their full abilities when it comes to fighting.
In that way, Batman is a little like Kevin in the movie Home Alone.
This comic imagines a Batman fan explaining to Superman that he wouldn't stand a chance against Batman if Batman had the preparation time and resources he needed-- and Superman forgetting his honor for a moment and showing that fan what he thinks about "prep time."
Art by S Deah.
16 The Old Green Whistle Test
One of the most common-- and let's just admit it, laziest-- ways that people cast Batman as being able to best Superman in battle is if he brings a hunk of kryptonite to the match. Sure, that would be effective, but it's also completely boring. What's the point of having this debate if you aren't going to keep it interesting?
There are so many other "cheats" that Batman could use to beat up Superman.
One such example of that would be if Batman were to don Green Lantern's ring. This would grant him power almost comparable to Superman! Of course, Batman had better test the ring out before he finds himself toe-to-toe with he Man of Steel-- you just can't ever fully trust that shifty Hal Jordan!
Art by The-BlackCat.
15 Objection!
Who better to judge the battle between Batman and Superman than an actual judge? This comic posits that the two characters take their fight off the streets and into a courtroom, to be decided by a jury of their peers. Well, Bruce Wayne's peers, anyway.
What is the point of the case? In what manner is the judge ruling in Batman's favor? Ultimately, it doesn't matter-- money buys the best lawyers, and the most expensive lawyers tend to get the best results. Bruce Wayne has so much money that he could probably hire an attorney so good that he could effectively convince a jury that Batman & Robin was a good movie.
Who are we kidding: He wouldn't need to "hire" a lawyer that good. He'd have him on Wayne Enterprises' permanent payroll.
Art by Andy Kluthe.
14 An Awkward Exit
Say what you will about the superfluousness of Superman's cape. Mock Superman's ballerina-like hovering stance. Question why Superman needs to have his fist out like a dork when he's flying. Ultimately, it's all just a nitpicky attempt to try and take away one of Superman's biggest advantages over Batman.
No matter how you slice it, being able to fly is inherently awesome.
While Batman has developed various gadgets over the years that have allowed him to enjoy some approximation of flight, the fact remains that he can't just go up, up, and away in a moment's notice, at any time, for an unlimited amount of time. No cool exit that Batman can come up with will ever be able to top a man who can just take flight and soar above the heavens in an instant.
Art by Guyster.
13 Let It Go
One thing that Batman and Superman have in common is that they both have hidden, secluded headquarters that they escape off to when they aren't "in action." Batman has the Batcave, and Superman has the Fortress of Solitude.
It would be just like Superman to try and point out to Batman the ways in which the two are alike, trying to find some common ground between the two of them. And it would be just like Batman to dismiss Superman's attempts at trying to insinuate that they have anything in common.
The cold probably never bothered Superman anyway-- but he'll also never be able to look at his icy home base the same way again after this gut punch burn by Batman. Do you want to build a snowman, Supes?
Art by Nebezial.
12 Martha Was A Hip, Hip Lady
Speaking of common ground, it turns out that Batman and Superman have another pretty interesting thing in common: both Batman's birth mother and Superman's adopted Earth mother have the name "Martha."
Were there no other female names when these two characters were created?
It just seems like a strange oversight that nobody stopped to realize that Superman already had a mother named Martha when they were creating Batman's backstory, a half dozen years later. But we guess it gives them something else to either have in common, or fight over, depending on whether you're a glass half-full or half-empty kind of person.
It's as though they somehow knew even back then that the two characters would constantly be pitted against each other for the next century or so and wanted to throw yet another wrinkle into the debate.
Art by Clone-Artist.
11 For Those About To Rock...
There really is only one fair way for Batman and Superman to face off. No, it has nothing to do with Superman using or not using his extraordinary powers, nor does it have anything to do with how much time Batman is given to properly map out his plan of attack.
The whole thing can be decided with one hand literally tied behind each of their backs.
Forget an epic battle, one that might cause tons of property damage and injured bystanders. All we need to do is have Batman and Superman play rock-paper-scissors to decide who is truly the best of the best. Just no "being faster than a speeding bullet" with your throw, Superman!
Best two out of three? Three out of five? Five out of seven? Seven out of...
Art by Lorenzo Sabia.
10 Superman Is The New Black
There is a lot-- and we mean a lot-- of fan art that depicts Batman and Superman coming together in a way that is physical, but not in a combative way. When it comes to fan tributes to fictional characters, three things are certain: someone has done a scantily-clad cosplay of them, someone has drawn them in the opposite gender, or someone has depicted two warring characters making out (or worse).
After wading through a lot of Batman-hearts-Superman fan art that wouldn't have been suitable for this site, plus a bunch that just shows them together, we've decided to choose this as a quirky representation of that phenomenon. Here, Batman is so overcome by how good Superman looks in black that he goes all anime-boy-with-a-crush on him.
Art by Vimeddiee.
9 I'll Tumblr For Ya
A lot of Batman vs Superman debates end up eschewing any semblance of trying to actually have the two characters do battle, and just become about which character is "cooler." And the winner of that war is very often Batman.
A common tactic is to answer any praise of Superman with, "But he's not Batman."
This cartoon does a hilarious job of illustrating that phenomenon, especially prevalent on Tumblr. The internet always seems to have time to talk about how cool Batman is, but doesn't have the same respect for Superman. Poor Superman, trying to get attention in a world where you aren't cool unless you're a dark, mysterious hero with vague motives. But then, Superman has never been about being "cool," he's just too busy, you know, trying to save helpless humans.
Art by HannahViera.
8 Slap Happy
One of the most common memes on the internet is one that depicts an old-looking comic panel where Batman seems to be smacking Robin clear across the face, with the speech bubbles above each of their heads being changed to fit a variety of jokes.
This comic turns that meme on its head-- and gets Robin some much-needed revenge-- by showing what might happen to Batman if he dared to try and give Superman's steel-like face an open-handed slap. Needless to say, if you try to slap Superman across the face and you're not a fellow godlike being, you're going to have a bad time-- and one severely shattered hand.
In this particular case, no speech bubbles are needed. Batman's anguished face post-slap says it all.
7 #NotYourShield
Superman could definitely get away with being much more smug than he typically is. To be able to step in front of someone and take a hail of gunfire like it's nothing more than paper bullets is the type of thing that someone would be justified in kind of being a jerk about.
This comic imagines Superman not being as humble about his powers, and the benefits they have to the people around him, as he typically is. To be fair, though, if anyone deserves to be on the receiving end of Superman letting his ego get the best of them, it's cold, standoffish, "I work alone!" Batman.
It's fun to imagine Superman patronizingly patting Batman on the head right after the action in this comic-- and even more fun to imagine how that would enrage Batman.
Art by tombancroft.
6 Hug It Out, Bro
Here, artist Ebullient25 imagines a scene that begins with Superman trying to enact one of the many fan art depictions of him and Batman lovingly embracing, and Batman responding with an elbow to Superman's face.
Batman is not here for Superman's hello hugs.
Superman definitely seems like a hugger, a quirk that the rest of the Justice League would surely vent about whenever he's not around-- there would be talk of both the frequency and duration of Superman's awkward embraces.
Leave it to Batman to not just complain about it in private but actually do something about Superman's overly affectionate nature. But that's what you get for thinking that Batman would be a hugger. If an elbow to the face is all you get for testing that theory out, you probably got off lightly.
Art by Ebullient25.
5 I Hate Sand
Why do we assume that Batman and Superman are always fighting viciously to the end? Can't they ever just be having a friendly sparring session? Moreover, why are only the adult versions of the characters the only ones who get to duke it out?
This playful comic by jmac05 re-imagines this iconic match-up as two young kids playfighting in a sandbox-- with an adorable young Wonder Woman (Wonder Toddler?) playing with a shovel and pail nearby.
Who would be the first to fight dirty and start throwing and kicking sand around? We think you already know the answer to that question-- and it wouldn't be the one in the red trunks.
Art by jmac05.
4 Do That Voodoo You Do So Well
We rarely see full-sized characters co-existing alongside their Lego counterparts. It stands to reason that bringing those two disparate worlds together would result in some pretty weird logic-- such as having Lego figures act as makeshift voodoo dolls for the characters they represent.
Here, we have Batman using kryptonite in a unique way, for a change.
People who say that Batman need only bring kryptonite to his fight with Superman forget that Superman doesn't just need to stand there as Batman walks up to him holding a glowing green rock. But what if Batman didn't actually have to get near Superman at all to hurt him with kryptonite, and need only poke a Lego Superman toy in the backside with it?
Well, we'd have one frustrated Superman-- and one highly amused Batman.
3 Of Mice And (Super)Men
"I'm going to hug Batman and love him and kiss him and squeeze him..." Here, we have two artists who have taken these two characters and had a little fun with them, re-imagining them having a relationship like an overzealous, animal-loving child who just stumbled across a stray cat that didn't know what hit it.
Of course, Superman actually squeezing Batman this hard would result in a Bat-puddle.
But we don't need to dwell on the "realism" of the piece. It's just supposed to be fun, having them playing different roles than their normal selves. Honestly, there isn't nearly enough of this type of thing among the copious amounts of Batman v Superman fan art out there. Although it might have been funnier to reverse their roles to really make the scene that much more absurd.
Art by Alonso Espinoza.
2 There Will Be Pain
There are a million comics and memes that poke fun at the famous moment from Dawn of Justice, typically by having Superman respond with, "No, but your parents did"-- and sometimes having Batman shoot back with "And so did your whole planet."
It was definitely funny-- the first ten or twenty times.
By this artist proves that even the most overdone of premises can still be molded to something fresh and funny, having Batman first patronizingly offer Superman Band-Aids, and then making him hurt emotionally by claiming he kissed Superman's beloved Lois.
Did he actually kiss her or not? Well, it's not that difficult to imagine he could have-- after all, he's Batman. If anyone would have the gall to make out with the girlfriend of a man who could literally punch a hole in the Earth-- and then tell him that he did it-- it's Batman.
Art by Dreamgate-Gad.
1 Ready Player One
Particularly perceptive Batman fans will recognize this comic as a parody of the final scene of The Dark Knight Returns. But you didn't need to have been aware of that to appreciate the comic on its grander scale, which is to frame the Batman and Superman fight in terms most of us can truly understand-- settling things via a video game.
What game are they playing? Injustice: Gods Among Us? Call of Duty? Mario Tennis?
It doesn't really matter. All that matters is that nothing is more universal-- to geeks and nerds, anyway-- than figuring out who is "better" by way of who wins in a video game. It doesn't matter if someone else can beat you up, run faster than you, get more dates than you...if you're the better gamer, you're basically the better human being. We all know this to be true.
Art by Huang-Jun.