SCUM is introducing a massive update, and it contains a certain feature that's the stuff of spam e-mails. Alongside things like new weapons and tools comes a bold new customization option that promises to rise to the occasion. You'll now be able to put your character in their birthday suit, and even adjust the size of their member. Not only that, but those who adopted the game early are being gifted with a few extra inches. Pay to win indeed.
The update is called the Wild Hunter update, according to the official Steam post. That's because it brings with it a set of items and options that encourage you to venture into the wilds, be one with the land, and go absolutely nuts.
Bows and arrows are making their first appearance in the game, both as a findable weapon and as a crafting item. More primal cosmetic items can now also be crafted, such as a wearable boar's head and a necklace full of ears.
On the less savage side is the addition of musical instruments. Guitar, banjo, and harmonica are available, and are even playable using your keyboard.
But let's face it, the most wild part of the Wild Hunter update is the ability to, as SCUM developer Gamepires says, "let it hang."
While I unfortunately can't show the function in its adult glory, it will be accessible right on the character customization menu, seen here in the brand new Simplified Chinese option.
You get to choose your length via a slider, the default being four inches. You can go as long as eight inches or as short as one inch. The thing is, this choice is directly tied to your attribute points. That means if you want to sport a big boy, you're going to be paying for it with other stats. Conversely, you can boldly declare that size doesn't matter and shift the girth into something more practical.
Finally, in an example of why money really can buy happiness, people who bought the SCUM Supporter Pack get an extra two inches.
Just another one of those times you wish real life was like video games.