It’s hard to believe the Transformers franchise started as a small toy series way back in 1984. Co-produced by American toy company Hasbro and Japanese toy company Takara Tomy, it's one of the most recognized genre-crossing brands in the world. Inspired by the success of their G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero action figures, Hasbro decided to create the futuristic Transformers, humanoid-like robots that could transform into vehicles, weapons, and everyday items. Expanding on this idea, two warring factions were created; the good guy Autobots led by Optimus Prime, and the evil Decepticons led by Megatron. Both sets of robot warriors crashed landed on prehistoric earth where they awakened in 1985 to continue their fight amongst the human population.
An animated television series was created to link in with the toys and culminated in The Transformers: The Movie, a new retelling of the origin story involving new characters and plot points. From here the Transformers franchise took off, spreading into comics, multiple animated television series, video games, books, and movies. Transformers introduced a wide range of new toys including the Dinobots, Rescue Bots and Maximals (Beast Wars characters) and has continued to impact on today's society, with new figures based on characters from the latest film Transformers: The Last Knight, and animated series Transformers: Robots In Disguise, available for fans to collect.
These new toys are the latest in a long line of Transformer figurines allowing kids and those young at heart to pit the Autobots against the Decepticons in the comfort of their living room. Unfortunately, along the way, not all Transformer toys have been as well-made and fun to play with as these modern incarnations. Many of the toys released over the years have been ugly depictions of the cartoon versions or simply toys that break easy. There are even some that don’t actually transform as advertised. To make sure you don’t purchase any of these duds, here’s a look at 20 Shockingly Stupid Transformer Toy Transformations (That Make Us Embarrassed).
20 Pretty Sneaky
Optimus Prime is the leader of the Autobots and the most famous Transformer of all time. The pragmatic leader takes on the form of a blue and red semi-truck that’s become an iconic look for the Autobot. The release of the live-action Transformers movie in 2007 saw the character get a revamp with a new toy version of Prime that transformed into a sneaker. That’s right, a bloody sneaker! Fully licensed by Nike and roughly the size of a child’s size 5 shoe, this reinvention of Prime also came in a trendy sneaker box. Prime could transform into his robot self by untying the shoelaces. In robot mode, Prime looks fairly similar to previous versions of the toy, although he is missing the famous Autobot chest plate. The shoelaces also hang to the side of his body without any use and are quite distracting.
19 That Color Sizzles Our Eyes
Along with his comrades Fizzle and Guzzle, Sizzle was part of the Autobot subgroup known as Sparkabots, who could shoot bursts of flames. They're pretty much Matchbox cars who transform and were a neat new entry into the Transformers franchise. The Generation One (G1) Sizzle was a black hotrod with a red underbelly but this was changed for the worse when the Generation Two (G2) series of toys was released six years later.
The design of Sizzle was pretty much identical to the original toy but he was now fluro green with a blue underbelly. It might be appealing to young kids but the color scheme made me ill. The Sparkabots could also shoot sparks thanks to a mechanism on the underside of the car, but this failed to work well with the generation two versions of the toy and added to the overall disappoint of Sizzle.
18 Eye Sore From The Beast War
During 1996, the Transformers franchise reinvented itself with a new batch of toys called Beast Wars. The Autobots were now called Maximals and the Decepticons went by Predacons, with the robots transforming into animals instead of the traditional vehicles or mechanical objects. Although first derided by fans, the Beast Wars toys helped invigorate the Transformers franchise and soon became much loved.
One of the new Transformers was Cheetor, a young and impressionable Maximal known for getting into trouble who looked up to Optimus Prime as a father figure. The first release of Cheetor is not his best, with the Transformer resembling a harmless kitty cat when in animal form. The overly large cheetah head also looks out of place when he’s in robot form, making Cheetor a clumsily made and ugly-looking toy many collectors aren’t too fond of.
17 Is Quality Control Not A Thing?
The Titanium series of Transformers were held in high regard amongst collectors, particularly the 6-inch figures. These die-cast metal models not only looked great but were also transformable, the first 6-inch line of Transformers toys to do this. Despite all this, these models were beset by problems, with many of the figures prone to loose joints, breakages, and chipped paint when transforming.
The Megatron figure was known for falling apart during transformation and was unable to stand upright without assistance. When taking on the form of a tank there were no movable parts, with even the turret stuck in the same position. It didn’t take long for people to realize how bad this toy was and it became one of the worst selling Transformers of all time.
16 Not So Smooth Jazz
It doesn’t get any more basic than this pathetic attempt at a Transformer. You’d think Optimus Prime’s right-hand man who risked his life for the human protagonists in the live action Transformers movie would have been given the full treatment, but it seems the designers obviously couldn’t be bothered.
Based on the Pontiac Solstice, this dull toy has no outstanding features or additional weapons when in robot form. Even the silver color looks more like an off-grey. You’d be forgiven for thinking Jazz was a prototype that was fast-tracked for sale due to time constraints. In fairness to Jazz, most of the Movie Legends Transformers were poorly designed, but the only one people seem to remember is poor old Jazz.
15 An Identity Crisis
The original Beast Wars Silverbot transformed into a "wolf with wings" that shot missiles when his wings moved. Pretty cool right? Things went pear-shaped with the Beast Machines version of Silverbot who transformed into a strange looking wolf/falcon hybrid creature (minus the missiles). Silverbot’s weapon transformed into his wings but the bright blue, orange, and yellow colors, were off-putting, as was his small stature when compared to the other Maximals.
What’s worse is when Silverbot takes on his wolf/falcon persona he looks like he’s doing a handstand. His head unusually hangs between his legs and looks like his private parts are smiling out at you. This is one Transformer you don’t want to be giving your kids to play with.
14 Iron-Hide This In The Toy Box
Ironhide is a fan favorite amongst Transformer fans but his initial toy was anything but. When in vehicle mode Ironhide looked perfectly fine as a red mini-van. The problems arose when he transformed. Looking like a mass of weapons and car parts, it’s hard to tell if Ironhide is even a robot with the number of parts hanging off him. His face is hidden behind a windscreen and he doesn’t have any legs. Compared to some of the other G1 toys, Ironhide was an absolute mess.
The good news for fans is that later installments of the figure are excellent, with the Transformers 3 Voyager Ironhide toy one of the best versions of the character yet.
13 Microscopic Entertainment Levels
Scalpel is an insect-looking Decepticon with six legs who featured heavily in Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen. While most Transformers in the film turned into vehicles, Scalpel morphed into a microscope, so many fans were intrigued about how this would be interpreted as a toy.
First off, the toy version is nothing like the screen version and is difficult to pose in robot mode due to his wonky legs. Scalpel is weird looking and doesn’t get any better when he turns into a microscope. Unlike other characters that have awesome gimmicks such as sports cars or fighter jets, Scalpel is a boring looking microscope, missing all the cool features the on-screen Scalpel had. Put simply, this is one hideous-looking Transformers toy.
12 Cloudbursting Into Flames
The original Pretender series of Transformers featured six Autobot’s that could imitate a human form as well as transform into their robotic self and a vehicle. Cloudburst was one of the Pretender’s that looked good in the animated series but didn’t translate well into a toy.
He takes the form of a spaceship when in vehicle mode, and actually looks pretty neat. It’s his robot and human modes that fail to live up to expectations. As a robot, Cloudburst is an uninspiring, small, red humanoid that wields the Thunderbolt Laser Pistol. His Pretender shell resembles a human in a bulky space suit that reveals only the top half of his head. It’s not an appealing toy at all and is made worse by his weapon of choice, a blue Lightning Whip that looks like something better left unnamed.
11 This Toy Makes Us Doze Off
The first version of the Rampage toy seen in Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen is a yellow bulldozer that also forms the leg of Devastator, a powerful Decepticon made up of a number of Transformers. It’s a good imitation of the film version, one that’s much better than the deluxe edition of the character that made this list.
The main difference between the two is the deluxe Rampage features more detail and comes in gold. The new color scheme makes an interesting change while the bulldozer is a much a better toy than the standard version. Strangely, he can also take the shape of a jackhammer and this is where the problems lie. In jackhammer mode Rampage can’t stand on his own and sadly isn’t able to connect with other Decepticons to form the impressive Devastator. The rubber treads of the bulldozer also just hang by his side when disguised as a jackhammer and in robot mode, not serving any purpose and taking away from the overall aesthetics of the toy.
10 Way Too Simple
Poor old Wideload got the short end of the straw when it came time to the designing of his toy. He’s one of the most basic Transformers in appearance and there is little difference between his robot and vehicle modes. The orange dump truck looks like it should be part of a McDonalds Happy Meal because of the toy's primitive design.
Wideload was not alone, with all the Throttlebot toys made exactly the same. They all look fairly similar and it’s easy to tell not much time was put into their design. Made of cheap plastic, the toys transformed in three easy moves and were recognized as one of the worst Transformer toy lines ever released.
9 Eldritch Horrors In Disguise
Unlike Cloudburst who was hard to look at without laughing (especially that blue whip), Octopunch is absolutely terrifying. Part of the Pretender line of toys, the three different transformations he can make are all hideous.
His robot self is maroon and yellow and the least offensive look at (of the three). Octopunch can transform into a funny looking crab creature with two large pinchers that resembles a Beast Wars Transformer. His Pretender shell is the worst though, with Octopunch looking like a half-man, half-octopus creature from your nightmares. I’m not sure how he was supposed to fit in with humans considering he has four tentacle arms and webbed feet. Take his massive helmet off and Octopunch has a face only a mother could love, making him the scariest looking Transformer toy on this list.
8 Size Doesn't Matter
The largest and bravest of all the Autobots, Metroplex is known for his self-deprecating attitude and is held in high esteem by his Transformer pals. He’s so big that he can transform into an entire city (Autobot City) as well as a battle station, but neither of these two modes can save him from being on this list.
As a robot, he's just too big and clunky, with his tree trunk legs at odds with his tiny torso and small arms. He’s just as odd when he turns into a space station, resembling a rolling missile launcher more than a futuristic space station. The worst thing about Metroplex is his city mode. While it includes a service bay with a launching mechanism, a helipad, and parking for four mini-vehicles, it just looks like a mass of random plastic pieces joined together to form an unidentifiable shape.
7 Say Cheesy!
As far as creepy Transformers go, it’s hard to look past Reflector. Made up of three Decepticons named Spectro, Spyglass, and Viewfinder. The three are obsessed with watching the world around them, especially their comrades, whose secrets they try and learn so they can blackmail them down the line. Good guys, right?
As toys, you receive all three Transformers in one package, with the three looking pretty naff when compared to other G1 transformers. The three could be combined to create a camera that, while different, was neither appealing nor useful. The old-style flashcube on top of the camera was supposed to double as a spring-loaded missile launcher but was nixed by Hasbro due to safety concerns. Because of this, it’s basically just a plastic camera that doesn’t do anything, making it a pretty useless Transformer.
6 Someone Reboot This Design
The Action Master series of toys tied in with a comic book storyline about Transformers who got stuck in robot mode and could no longer transform. This seems kind of strange considering the whole point of a Transformer is its ability to change into something else, but let’s move along…
None of the toys in this line could transform and only had movable arms and legs that swung back and forth. The designs are very lazy, with each character coming with a mini-robot partner that was just as uninspiring. While all variations of the Action Master toys are bad, I’ve gone with Mainframe. If he did have the ability to transform, it would be into a computer, and that doesn’t make for an entertaining toy.
5 It Should Have Stayed In The Cosmos
It's not surprising Cosmos is a deplorable toy considering he's pretty much just a satellite. As a character, Cosmos spends most of his time orbiting the earth and that's the best place for this toy as well. Short and stocky when in robot mode, Cosmos is another original Transformer Hasbro didn't spend much time working on.
Cosmos is a number of green and yellow pieces of plastic with a red head, put together to look like a humanoid figure. When he disguised himself, he turned into a satellite and didn't fare much better, resembling a certain part of the female anatomy. He also didn't have any notable moving parts when in this mode, making him less useful than a lump of coal.
4 We All Scream For This Terrible Design
If the film representation of these two characters wasn’t bad enough (embodying racist stereotypes), wait until you see the horrible toys Hasbro came out with. The basic model of each character sees Mudflap as an orange Chevrolet Trax and his brother Skids as a green Chevrolet Spark. The deluxe edition of these characters came as a twin-pack containing both Autobots who would combine to form an old-fashioned ice cream truck, the initial vehicle they copied in the film.
The ice cream truck comes in an ugly white and purple paint job with no additional gimmicks. It splits right down the middle to create the separate robots Mudflap and Skids but neither has any standout features either. The phrase “Made Fresh For You” is written in Comic Sans above the front wheel hubs, which is another reason this toy is such an embarrassment. Nobody deserves to own a toy with Comic Sans.
3 Going Down In Flames
One of the most notorious and violent Decepticons, Flamefeather, also has one of the worst looking action figures of the original Transformers collection. First appearing in the comics, he is pictured as a ferocious blue and white robot who transforms into an equally confronting bird creature. Unfortunately, this didn't cross over into the toy version of Flamefeather, who looks like a hunk of plastic with a face. He doesn't even have any arms until he transforms into a bird, and even then, he's not intimidating.
A new updated version of Flamefeather was released with the G2 collection of Transformers toys but that one didn't fare any better. The only difference between the two is the color pallet, with the new version of Flamefeather colored purple and fluro orange. I'll leave it up to you to judge which is worse.
2 The Bulkiest Autobot
The Armada range of Transformer toys were known for the addition of mini-cons, small humanoid robots that could transform into their own object while also becoming part of the main Transformers they are paired with. These toys were a huge smash with children but not all of them turned out great.
Side Swipe initially looks pretty cool when disguised as a blue Nissan Skyline R32 Sedan, but when in robot mode he becomes an eyesore. The biggest problem is his limbs are out of proportion with the rest of his body. He has massive forearms and thick legs that look out of place on the childish Autobot. What's even worse is the mini-con he is paired with, Nightbeat, is an ugly looking motorbike. It's obvious the design of Nightbeat was sacrificed so he could fit inside Side Swipe, but this doesn't make me feel any less disgust towards the toy.
1 This Won't Peng-Win Any Awards
Break really lucked out when it came to what animal he was given to transform into. While the majority of the Beast Wars Transformers have the ability to disguise themselves as powerful and commanding creatures such as a rhinoceros, alligator and tyrannosaurus rex, poor little Break was given the outer shell of an Emperor Penguin. They might be cute and fluffy but they don't strike fear into the heart of your enemy, nor do they look appealing as a toy. The best thing about this toy is when Break is in robot mode you can detach his outer shell so there is no reminder he's actually a penguin.
There's also the matter of the "Buster Mode" whereby Break in penguin form can be attached to larger Transformer as a missile. This sounds cool but when you discover you must attach him to a Transformers rear end for this to work it shatters the illusion of a flying penguin missile. Fans have affectionally named this the "super-mega-poop-attack!" leaving any dignity Break had out the window.