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Simlish: 15 Crazy Things We KNOW The Sims Are Saying

As one of TheGamer’s resident Englishmen, I’ve become used to some of the old clichés about British people. We’re a little pale and moldy from the constant rain, we have a lust bordering on mania for tea, and when holidaying overseas, we will not learn the language. Instead, we’ll just repeat our requests or comments again, louder and more slowly this time. The thing about bad teeth? That’s a myth. But the language business? That's a fact of life.

When it comes to The Sims, then, there are certain things I can’t fully comprehend. The language difficulties I just mentioned extend to Simlish, the bizarre and gabbled words Sims use to communicate. Controlling every aspect of these tiny freaks’ lives as we do, we understand the context, and get a little thought bubble above their heads to further explain, but without those things? Nope, it’s gibberish.

If —for instance— a Sim's partner has just left them and they’ve collapsed on the kitchen lino and peed themselves, it’s pretty damn clear what they’re saying. I’m generally displeased with this whole situation, frankly, is what they’re saying. It’s all about social context. If somebody on the street accosted you and started howling the same KYALNA OOGNA BOOGNA sounds in your face you’d be utterly nonplussed.

So let’s make everything a little clearer. With the help of a Simlish-to-English dictionary, let’s take a look at 15 Crazy Things We Know The Sims Are Saying.

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15Taking Training Seriously

Via: carls-sims-3-guide.com

Now, at this point, there have been four installments of The Sims, as well as add-ons, and DLC out the wazzoo. Our little virtual guys and gals are more advanced than ever before, as is the game itself as a life sim. So, really, can we believe that Sim personal trainers haven’t yet started using motivational Rocky quotes to spur their clients on to losing that saggy ass weight? Of course, we can’t. That’s most definitely a thing.

So, yep, this is the kind of conversation that’s going on in many a Sim-gym across the world right now. Personal trainers in the Sim world might not be cycling behind you as you run in Baywatch-style slow-mo across the sand, but they’re certainly offering words of support. Like "Ooh Be Gah," which simply means "Very Good!"

14Vampires, Huh?

Via: carls-sims-4-guide.com

Across the series’ various expansion packs, content has been added to cater to all kinds of lifestyles. After all, this is a life sim, and life is one holy hell of a diverse thing. We’ve had packs that give our sims a taste of the university life, packs that add magic to the mix, all manner of exotic pets, take holidays, experience the thrills, chills and soul-crushing crap-your-pants rejection of dating life…

Vampires existed in the original Sims (Makin’ Magic) as a solely cosmetic change. It wasn’t until 2005, with The Sims 2: Nightlife, that this became a true life state. A Sim bitten by the Grand Vampire will turn, and can also transfer the status to other Sims. "That’s Awful," the victim would no doubt say, or "Sass Awrful" in Simlish.

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Simlish: 15 Crazy Things We KNOW The Sims Are Saying