“The Simpsons sucks now!” is something I hear all too often these days. Allow me to get a little Stephen A. Smith for a second, because I’m here to tell you right now - we don’t care. The Simpsons is not as good as it was back in 1993, when it was regularly churning out episodes like Marge vs. The Monorail, Last Exit To Springfield, Cape Feare, and Homer’s Barbershop Quartet, but it has always seemed to me like The Simpsons is held to an unfair standard. How many shows on television right now regularly produce Simpsons ’93-level television? It’s not even the same writers, for the most part. Many of the OG writing staff either left the show or moved into production. After The Simpsons-Loki crossover though, I’m struggling to find any defense. It might be the worst Simpsons thing I’ve ever seen.
I’ve watched every episode of The Simpsons. That means yes, I’ve watched Lisa Goes Gaga. It’s not as bad as people say, but I certainly wouldn’t say it was good, either. The Musk Who Fell To Earth is the same thing but worse, while Clown in the Dumps, The Nightmare Before Krustmas, and Every Man’s Dream are all way below Lady Gaga’s lukewarm visit to town. I’ve played Simpsons Wrestling and Simpsons Skateboarding. I got a rapid heartbeat from my Simpsons Brand vitamins, my Simpsons calculator didn't have a seven or an eight, and Matt Groening’s autobiography was self-serving with many glaring omissions. But this time, they’ve gone too far.
The Simpsons’ crossover with Marvel (The Good, The Bart, and The Loki to give it its full title) is, in the words of Comic Book Guy, the worst episode ever. It sees Loki being banished to Springfield, where he initially befriends Bart, then when Lisa returns as Thor - she’s worthy because… well, vegetarianism? - Loki tricks Bart into getting banished in his place. Loki then assumes Bart’s form to hide, except he doesn’t, but Homer either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care because… who knows, maybe it’s vegetarianism again? It barely makes an effort so I’m not going to.
There’s also several Simpsons characters restyled as Marvel heroes for no logical reason and no purpose beyond putting them on a poster. They’re all relegated to the background, nothing more than “Look! Flanders as Ant-Man! That’s two things you like! Money, please.”
This is not a symptom of modern Simpsons. Sure, it has some misses these days. I’m still not sure why the 700th episode was a Christmas flashback that aired in March, or why it centred around another dull ‘Homer and Marge break up except nope’ story. Now Museum, Now You Don’t was a real dud of the season, but Season 25’s Barthood can kick it with any of them from the Golden Age, while Panic on the Streets of Springfield, The Way of the Dog, and Thanksgiving of Horror are all great.
It’s not because it’s a short, either. This is the fourth Simpsons short, but importantly, it’s the first one not to star Maggie. The first short, The Longest Daycare, was nominated for an Oscar for its superb animation and visual storytelling. Following that, Playdate with Destiny expanded on Maggie’s world - it also led to the fully fledged but inferior episode The Incredible Lightness of Being a Baby, proving that storytelling in the shorts is very different to storytelling in a 22-minute episode.
Then the crossovers started. Last time it was The Nap Awakens, a Star Wars crossover that took the animation imagination spirit of the first two shorts and threw loads of Star Wars references at it. Though easily the weakest of the Maggie shorts, it’s still decent. The Good, The Bart, and The Loki is not decent. It’s not very Bart, not very Loki, and certainly not very good.
It’s a six-minute short, but rather than rely on animated narrative like the first three, it tries to be a proper episode. Six minutes isn’t too far off a Treehouse segment, but with half of that runtime being credits - apparently to joke about MCU credit scenes, only to then play them straight - it barely gets started before it’s over.
Even the mid-credit scene is just an advert for the Loki show that seems to be bored by its own presence - even more so than the short itself. I know I was bored, anyway. I’d rather listen to Do The Bartman and play Bart & The Beanstalk than watch this again.