The Gamer's news team has been hard at work this past week, grinding out character unlocks in Smash Bros. Ultimate and pounding popular video game mascots into a pulp along the way. Each of us has our favorite fighters, our mains, and today we decided to write up a bit about each of them. Some of what follows are love letters; in fact, pretty much all of them are.
If you think we're all completely misguided about our favorite characters, then please don't hesitate to not comment whatsoever, we don't need that kind of negativity in our lives, thank you very much.
Raphael Bennett - Lead Editor - Super Mario
There’s something about that moment when Mario’s feet lift-off the ground in Smash Bros. Ultimate. It looks and sounds just like the plucky plumber’s signature ascent, but it’s not him — trust us.
The version of Super Mario locked inside Super Smash Bros. is actually a gravity-defying anime-boi who could go toe-to-toe with history’s floatiest heroes.
And who doesn’t want a whirlwind fighter disguised as a scoop of vanilla?
Meghan Overbury - Senior Editor - Dark Pit
People have long complained that Dark Pit/Pit are annoying characters to play against. They're not wrong. Not only does he have extremely powerful attacks and combos, but he can literally fly away from all his problems. There's an attack coming? Just fly away. Knocked off the platform? No problem. He can take opponents down easily and looks great doing it.
Plus, his look has an ~emo vibe, and I just can't say no to that.
Scott Baird - Writer - Duck Hunt
Duck Hunt is the best Smash Bros. character because he is the original troll of gaming. The dog was mocking people back in 1984, and he continues to do so in Smash Bros. to this day.
Duck Hunt has a selection of unorthodox special moves and almost no one plays him at a competitive level, which means that many players have found themselves faltering against the can, the clay pigeon, and the cowboy.
There is nothing worse than choosing a cool character like Cloud and watching him lose to a cartoon dog and a friendly duck.
Sergio Solorzano - Writer - Robin
There's a meme in the Smash fandom that calls all Fire Emblem characters "Marths" simply because most of them have similar moves. Robin, however, is no Marth.
RELATED: Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Review
Boasting magic and swordsmanship, Robin is adept at both close and long range, unlike the Marths. Robin's unique approach to special moves, one that requires strategic resource-management on the player's part, also embodies the spirit of Fire Emblem better than any other smasher. He might not counter, but he can tip the scales.
Sam Watanuki - Writer - Sheik
They say, “The best offense is a good defense.” But who needs a defense when you have an arsenal of weapons and combos at your disposal?
Sheik’s grenades help to keep enemies at bay, while her quick movements and combinations – if performed properly – effectively take down opponents without allowing them too much breathing room. Link who?
Daniel Alvarez - Writer - Pac-Man
Who doesn't love Pac-Man? He is the original video game character, a family man, and a hero.
In Smash Bros., he has a unique moveset, complete with a hydrant and Galaga grab. This character also has a great arsenal of killer fruit. Most importantly, he fights with the biggest smile in the game.
Chris Littlechild - Writer - Wario
Wario has always been an unconventional, toilet-humor-loving, WAH WAH WAH kind of guy. He brings that noble spirit with him into Smash Bros., and it’s 100% present and correct in Ultimate.
Smash’s take on the character combines elements of both of Wario’s major franchises, Wario Land and WarioWare, to great effect. This means that he can both run you down on his bike and fart you right out of the arena. What an eligible bachelor.
Patrick Sklar - News Overlord - Bowser
Bowser burns, bites, and suplexes his way to victory, and shreds out an electric guitar riff on the "Level Complete" theme just to make sure everyone knows: this is King Koopa we're talking about, and whatever he doesn't have, he takes and makes his own. That super armor when he drop-kicks you off-screen doesn't hurt, either.
All Bowser needs is a dedicated stage - not some temporary stage morph in midst of the Paper Mario level. We want lava, turrets, Thwomps and Whomps.
READ NEXT: Every Smash Ultimate Character, Ranked
And that's it! Again, if you disagree with any of our choices above, please go walk off the stage.