Normally, when you picture a post-apocalyptic world, you think of a desolate landscape with no trees, no water, and no life. But Splatoon’s world is bright, colorful, and cheerful. It has music, it has food, it even has shopping. Most importantly, it has Turf Wars which are fun events that let you splat your opponents with ink.
During Turf Wars it is important to pick a main weapon to use and Splatoon has nine weapon classes to choose from. But some of these weapons look oddly familiar. They harken back to a time when humans were still walking around. Here are some of the weirdest weapons that we discovered in the Splatoon world.
11 Rainy Days Call For A Brella
The Brella is a class of weapons that allow for maximum ink spreading with minimum splat damage. But there is no mistaking what this weapon once was - an umbrella. It even has the original name of the item in the title.
Like a regular umbrella, it protects you from getting rained on from the front and allows you to hide from enemy shots. Unfortunately, this umbrella cannot protect you from the ink that could rain on you from the sides or the back. For an even weirder Brella experience, try equipping the Tenta Brella, which replaces the umbrella head with a tent. Have fun ‘camping’ behind this one!
10 Bamboo? In A Turf War?
Even the name of this weapon is weird! The Bamboozler is a Charger weapon that was once used by Cap'n Cuttlefish during the Great Turf War. Technically, he is still using this weapon, albeit as a cane.
The Bamboozler is a hollowed out piece of bamboo that can rapidly shoot ink at your opponents. However, thanks to the weapon being made out of actual bamboo, is a bit weaker than the other Chargers. Then again, it is better to have a slightly weaker Charger than no Bamboozler Charger at all!
9 Katana? Nope! That's A Splatana!
The Splatanas are a class of weapons found in Splatoon 3. This specific weapon, the Splatana Wiper, allows you to slash and splat your way to victory. Plus, you can charge up your Splatana and unleash even more ink!
As cool as this weapon is though, there is no denying that this used to be a windshield wiper - one that is typically found on a car. Only, the Splatoon version of this wiper has a handle attached to it and, instead of wiping off messes that might appear on your windshield, you are using the Splatana to make messes on the Turf War stages.
8 The Ballpoint Splatling Is Mightier Than The Sword
Splatlings are main weapons that have to charge before they are fully operational. But when they are charged, expect a barrage of ink to come your way. The majority of the Splatlings are heavy-hitting and intimidating weapons.
But the Ballpoint Splating subverts this by being a pen. Yes, a pen. A pen whose ink cartridges were replaced by Turf War splatting ink. It is another cleverly weird weapon that reminds you that Squids, Octopuses, and Ink go hand in hand. Or tentacle in tentacle?
7 Time To Set Things E-liter!
Squids and Octolings have no need for gas stations. After all, who needs gas and cars when you can swim through ink? But they do need the gas station pumps for this Charger.
The E-liter is a Charger weapon that is made for Turf War teammates who prefer to fight from a distance. It is the perfect sniper weapon, and it resembles a gas pump. Though impressive that the world of Splatoon can make anything into a weapon, it is a little weird to pull this weapon’s trigger and shoot ink everywhere, rather than refill your car.
6 Refurbish With The Splat Roller!
Rollers are pretty self-explanatory. They are a category of weapons that you can use to roll with. With weapons like the Splat Roller, you are able to ink a lot of area in a short time. Although you are unprotected from shots from a Charger or a Shooter, if you get close enough you can literally roll over your opponents.
What makes the Splat Roller weird is how it resembles a paint roller. One that you would typically use when repainting the walls in your home. During Turf Wars, however, the only repainting you will be doing is repainting the Turf your team’s color.
5 Here's The Stringer!
In the Splatlands of Splatoon, you would not expect to see an archery bow being used. But with the Stringer, you can become the ace ink archer that you always wanted to be. This weapon shoots three shots of ink in three different directions and is the perfect weapon to use if you're in a rush to cover more ground.
The Stringer, however, is not just a bow. If you look closely, you can see that part of the Stringer is made up of a fishing reel. Only in the chaotic world of Splatoon 3 will you find a weapon that combines archery and fishing!
4 Time To Paint With The Inkbrush
Another roller is the Inkbrush. However, this does not resemble the rollers that you would use in home design. Instead, the Inkbrush is a huge paintbrush, one that you might find in an art class or an art studio. But in Splatoon, you can use the Inkbrush to splat your opponents who are in close range.
There is nothing more comical than fighting your opponents, who are armed with Shooters, Chargers, Dualies, and Splat Bombs, and defeating them all with the flick of your Inkbrush.
3 Celebrate With A Squeezer!
The best way to celebrate a Turf War battle? With a Squeezer! This Shooter weapon is what happens when you combine a gun with a champagne bottle. Only the bottle is filled with ink that you can shoot your enemy opponents with.
Visually, this weapon is very weird, as the bottle itself is attached to its handle by a couple of wires. Plus, there is a cap on it and the cork is still on. How do you shoot with this weapon if the cap is strapped onto the top and the cork is still in the bottle itself?
2 Turn On The Sloshing Machine!
As evidenced by this weapon’s clever name, the Sloshing Machine is a washing machine that got turned into a Slosher weapon. The Slosher is a weapon class that allows you to hurl buckets of ink at your enemies. In the Sloshing Machine’s case, the ink comes out spinning, as if it was interrupted during a washing cycle.
Do not expect to walk away with clean clothes after you get hit by this machine! Who knew that in the world of Splatoon, you could fight with paintbrushes as large as your body and washing machines small enough to fit in your hands?
1 Spawner Drone: Is that a Cappuccino Machine?
Though not a weapon, the Spawner Drone is weird in that it is a cappuccino machine. One that you might see in a café. But instead of serving drinks, this machine can somehow fly and shoot Inklings and Octolings onto battlefields.
You would not expect that the inhabitants of the Splatlands enjoying a nice cup of coffee before a battle, but perhaps the adrenaline from charging up in this caffeine machine carries over to Turf Wars? Though it does beg the question, how do Inklings and Octolings manage to aim themselves from inside this machine?