Spotify Wrapped is here for another year, and now we can all spend the next week shaming our respective music tastes. I’m a connoisseur of sad rap in dire need of a hug and therapy if my top artists are any indication, while TheGamer editorial team is filled with a huge mixture of different genres and creators. The only constant is our collective love for Taylor Swift.
But who cares about what the average joes are listening to on a daily basis, it’s all about projecting these same ideals onto video game characters for the sake of content. I wanna know what song was stuck in Joel’s head the second that golf club made contact with his cranium, or if Arthur Morgan was losing it to Kesha and Pitbull’s Timber while throwing yet another bandit on the Valentine railroad tracks. Most importantly, is Tom Nook a fan of lo-fi beats to loan shark to.
Without further delay, here are four of your favourite video game characters and a totally legit breakdown of their listening habits. I promise some very real science has been applied here.
Joel Miller - The Last of Us
Top 5 Artists: Pearl Jam, Fleetwood Mac, The Eagles, Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Kid Rock
Favourite Genre: Boomer Rock
Joel is a kind-hearted mass murderer, but he’s also a curmudgeonly old boomer who loves good coffee, acoustic guitars, and thinking he’s actually a good singer. Kinda like Troy Baker. There’s a reason why he kept bugging Ellie about learning to play music and to indulge in a cheeky bit of misery just like her surrogate father. Death aside, he had a good thing going.
Top Song: Go Your Own Way by Fleetwood Mac
He really went his own way by dooming humanity and taking Ellie away from the Fireflies mere moments before a potential cure for infection was found. Joel took the mantra of this song to heart, not letting others tell him how to live regardless of the consequences. I mean - the lyrics were probably more about not being afraid of judgment or spoiling yourself once in a while, not murdering hundreds of people for your own selfish fulfilment. Even at the end of the world, this classic banger remains on repeat.
Tom Nook - Animal Crossing
Top 5 Artists: DMX, The Notorious B.I.G., Wu-Tang Clan, Drake, Carly Rae Jepsen
Favourite Genre: East Coast Hip Hop
Tom Nook is a soulless motherfucker, and thus his music taste reflects the streets he was raised on, the places he was taught to hustle and earn a profit by kindly building houses for new residents and never giving them a deadline to pay back their loans or any interest rates at all now I think about it. What a monster, he’s even roped his nephews into things. Yet he also has a soft side and a love for more contemporary tunes, and can often be found assembling playlists consisting of Carly Rae Jepsen, Dua Lipa, and Taylor Swift. The tanuki has range, and probably needs it given he sits inside that stuffy town hall all day.
Top Song: Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen
Tom Nook doesn’t want a date. What he is hoping for is regular repayments and correspondence from his clients. Each and every day he hopes we will stumble into his office with a big sack for bells, ready to hand them over and ask for yet another lofty extension. It’s his dream, and given how long it’s been since I played New Horizons, one that is never going to come true.
Arthur Morgan - Red Dead Redemption 2
Top 5 Artists: Daughtry, Nickelback, Riley Green, Hinder, Hannah Montana
Favourite Genre: Country Rock
Arthur Morgan is a cowboy with a heart of gold, wearing feelings on his sleeve whenever the situation calls for it. Yet he’s also a man raised amidst a changing America he can’t help but take pride in, all while reconciling with its eventual demise. Like most cowboys, his tunes are inspired by the horses he rides and the soil he walks upon. So long as he has a warm bath and a welcome embrace at the end of the day, he can proudly hang up his hat. Until he dies of tuberculosis anyway.
Top Song: Best of Both Worlds By Hannah Montana
Red Dead Redemption 2 is a story of growth and consequence set to the backdrop of a fading American West. Arthur Morgan would do anything in his power to both take it slow and rock out the show, but much like his favourite Disney Channel popstar, living a double life without eventually facing the music just isn’t possible. Throughout the game he comes to terms with his own fate, and recognises that the right thing to do is put others first even if it means leaving his own life behind.
Leon Kennedy - Resident Evil
Top 5 Artists: Lil Nas X, Taylor Swift, Harry Styles, The 1975, Lana Del Rey
Favourite Genre: Pop
Leon’s favourite music changes depending on what game you’re drawing from. There are so many, but for the purposes of this article I’ll be drawing from the remake of Resi 2 where he is depicted as a fairly delicious twink. He’s fresh out of discovering his sexuality in the police academy and is ready to take down some zombies, but he won’t be slaying anyone without the right music. Our boy is into some modern pop, alternative rock, and a bit of everything from the modern charts. He shares a playlist with Ada and Claire while on missions, so they can share new songs with each other all the time. They even have an adorable group chat.
Top Song: Sweet But Psycho by Ava Max
Leon deals with a lot of babes and hunks who happen to be moments away from morphing into biological monstrosities, and chances are he will have to whip out an RPG and deal with them before it’s too late. Getting so close to striking up a relationship or a bit of chemistry for someone only to have them explode into a waterfall of bugs is a massive downer, so such a thematically relevant song probably works wonders in the midst of firefights.