It can take months to achieve a perfect farm in Stardew Valley. There are dozens of goals to set your eyes on, like conquering the mines, or befriending every villager. Eventually, though, you will start to settle down and collect a sizable pile of gold and loot. What do you do then?
Once you've got a year-round starfruit farm, and a basement full of casks, you'll need something to blow all that money on, and the game does offer a few avenues to burn that money as fast as possible. For the obscenely rich, consider wasting your money here.
10 Divorce - 50,000 Gold
Do you have massive regrets about the choices you've made? Did you marry someone only to realize they're not everything they're cracked up to be? Get a divorce for just 50,000 gold! You don't even need to discuss it with your spouse. Just speak to Mayor Lewis and pay him the fees.
Your ex will understandably be mad at you for the rest of the game and be stuck at zero friendship. That is, unless you use the shrine in the witch's hut to wipe their memory for another 30,000 gold. Then it's as if nothing happened at all.
9 Alien Scarecrow - 100,000 Gold
Eight scarecrows need to be collected for the Rarecrow event, and one of them is sold at the Oasis Casino. It costs 10,000 casino tokens, but the tokens can also be purchased at a rate of ten gold per token, bringing the total cost of the scarecrow to 100,000 gold.
You could alternatively play the casino games, but it is as advertised — a casino. It's a total racket. You're not guaranteed to win, and it can take hours to get enough tokens if you're unlucky. If you've amassed a fortune, just buy the darn scarecrow.
8 Cellar Upgrade - 100,000 Gold
The final house upgrade can end up being your biggest money-maker, and you barely have to do a thing. For 100,000 gold you can add the cellar to your house. The cellar is only good for housing casks that age wine and other artisan goods, but it's the wine you want to focus on.
If you try hard enough, you can fit 125 casks in your cellar, and all you have to do to age wine is place it in a cask and leave. It takes two seasons to age wine to iridium quality, but its price almost doubles from its original value. Buy this upgrade early and become the valley's local wine baron.
7 Town Shortcuts - 300,000 Gold
This upgrade can't be purchased until you've finished the Community Center, purchased the first community upgrade from Robin, and fully upgraded your house. It costs 300,000 gold, and it will open up several shortcuts all around the valley.
The shortcuts are amazing time savers; more than you might think you need at this point in the game, but just listen to these. The mountain lake island gets a plank leading straight to the cave entrance. You can go straight from Cindersnap Forest to the beach, and there's a shortcut from the museum to the tide pools.
6 Earth And Water Obelisks - 500,000 Gold
The first of the obelisks cost 500,000 gold each, for a total of one million. That's steep, and honestly these upgrades aren't worth it. They can be built anywhere on your farm, and they will teleport you to either the mountains or the beach.
For half a million gold, you can save literal seconds on your daily commute. Also, you can't bring your horse through the obelisk, so if you don't have the horse flute, your walk back is going to take longer than had you just rode the horse there in the first place. If you've got the money though, may as well.
5 Pam's House - 500,000 Gold
The first community upgrade is completely useless to you, but it will make you feel good. After finishing the Community Center and your house, you can spend a small fortune of 500,000 gold to build Pam, your loyal bus driver, a new house. She's been raising her daughter alone in a small trailer, despite putting in hours of backbreaking labor for you, and she deserves something in return.
During the event where Pam receives her new house, you can also choose to come forward as the benefactor or keep it hidden. The latter comes off feeling more heartwarming, as Pam won't feel indebted to anyone. She really does deserve a win, and she shouldn't feel like she owes us back.
4 Statue Of Endless Fortune - 1,000,000 Gold
The Statue of Endless Fortune is a flex for the sake of a flex. It can be purchased from the Oasis Casino for one million gold, and it can't be purchased with tokens, so you have to bring real cash. The reward is a golden cat statue that produces an iridium bar, gold bar, diamond, or omni geode each day. At this rate, it would take years for the statue to pay for itself.
Alternatively, if it's a villagers' birthday, the statue will produce a "loved" item for you to gift them. This is arguably its intended purpose. It's nice that you can get ore from it, but if you need iridium at this point, just spend the gold on mega bombs and go mining, and buy the gold from Clint.
3 Desert And Island Obelisks - 1,000,000 Gold
The desert and island obelisks are the actually useful siblings to the other obelisks. They will teleport you to the desert or Ginger Island at the touch of a button. Unlike the other obelisks, this will actually save you time and money. However, they do cost a million gold each.
You will likely have traveled to the desert and Ginger Island dozens of times before you can afford these items, and, coincidentally, you will probably never want to travel to them normally ever again. You might be near the true end-game when you finally acquire these, but they're still worth the money.
2 Return Scepter - 2,000,000 Gold
The return scepter is the best item in the game, and it's worth every penny, every ignored relationship, and every destroyed fishy ecosystem. Krobus taunts you with it in his inventory as early as year one for two million gold. You should make this your first rich-blooded purchase, even before the obelisks.
The privilege to stay out every night, where ever you want, until 1am, is something you won't ever have experienced. You have always had to plan your day around returning to your bed, but no longer! It's such a game-changer that you may never want to start another profile.
1 Gold Clock - 10,000,000 Gold
The Golden Clock is the single most expensive item you can buy in the entire game, and it's the definition of a status symbol. For a filthy ten million gold, you can erect this monument on your farm, preventing any debris or weeds from growing on it ever again, as well as preventing paths and fences from degrading.
If you have enough money to afford this item, you've won. It's mostly functionless, since removing weeds once a season isn't that hard, and because of that, it's likely one of the last things you'll ever want to buy. You bought this because you had nothing else to buy. Now all that's left is to actually organize and decorate your farm.