Like many others, I grew up playing Pokémon. Back in 1998, when the original games released, I was hooked. My parents, on my birthday, surprised me with a Game Boy, and a copy each of Red and Blue. They didn’t know there was almost no difference between the two games. That was fine with me, though. I was ecstatic. Back then, I was naïve. I just wanted to play video games about talking, fighting monsters. To me, Pokémon was the game to play.
I did not know then what I know now. The world of Pokémon is filled with torment, grief, and downright violence. These lovable, adorable monsters are used for their abilities and then tossed aside like common household garbage. You may have heard of the Pokémon Wars, too. During this dark time, Pokémon were used to fight against people and other Pokémon using their abilities. It’s downright grotesque. People are hideous, as we all know. They will utilize whatever elements they can to gain an advantage. In this case, it’s living, breathing monsters. Of course, this is all fantasy, too. In the real world, there are no Pokémon. It speaks levels of our own reality, though. The developers certainly based the game in reality to some extent.
So, now that most of us are older–those who grew up with the original games–we can shed some light on the messed-up things you can do in Pokémon. Now, some of these things are not your fault, admittedly. You don’t have a choice. Others, however, you absolutely do.
20 Where'd The PC Go?
While yet another nonchoice for the player, the invisible PC is quite odd. If you travel to Celadon City, in the Celadon City Hotel, you’ll happen upon an invisible item blocking your path. If you must walk the length of the room, back and forth, until you stumble across the computer. You may then use said computer.
Unlike some of the cooler bugs in the game, the invisible PC is rather simple. It’s just a bug. The actual computer is like any other in the game. You may access your inventory, swap out Pokémon, and whatnot. It’s simple. Don’t be fooled into thinking you’re entering another dimension or unlocking the rarest of rare Pokémon. It’s just a PC, folks! Albeit an invisible one. What a curiosity!
19 Destroy Your Friend’s Hard Work
It is unfortunate, but there is always a game-breaking bug in each iteration of the Pokémon franchise. In X and Y, for example, a save bug could destroy your progress. The same issue was found in Sun and Moon, too. You would think, after all these years, the developers would fix the problem and prevent such an error from ever occurring. That’s not the case, though.
If you’re feeling downright diabolical (see: asshole), then you could utilize this bug as a way to get back at a particularly nasty friend. Say they’ve been bugging you, or did something to insult your ego, then you delete their Pokémon save files! We’re not going to tell you how to recreate the save-delete bug, though. That would be naughty. We’d rather our community not lose all their progress!
18 Raising The Machoke
The entire point of the Pokémon franchise is to raise your monsters from lowly levels to high-ranking badass. In doing so, you’re subjecting your creatures to rigorous fights, the potential to be knocked unconscious, and hostile conditions. It’s a tough life for a Pokémon.
Few have it worse than Machoke, however. The Fighting-type Pokémon is built to withstand punishment. Unfortunately, if you look closer, you can see that punishment takes a toll on its body. You see those red lines on its arms? Those aren’t just for decoration. Speculation points to muscles tearing in its arms as its body evolves into its next form. This creature is literally ripping itself to shreds to become stronger for its master. Think about that next time you power-level your Machop!
17 Ignore Pokerus
The Pokérus is a microscopic life-form that attaches itself to a Pokémon. The virus first appeared in Generation II games. The rare virus affects just 3 of every 65,536 Pokémon in the world. That may seem like an insignificant number, but there are a lot of creatures out in the wild.
Once contracted, the virus inhibits the abilities of your creatures through status conditions, such as Sleep. In doing so, the virus leaves your Pokémon temporarily unable to fight or defend themselves from danger. It’s dangerous and likely to get someone killed. As long as the Pokémon is infected, the virus may spread to your other Pokémon in the player’s party. From Generation III onward, Eggs may become infected with the virus like any other creature.
16 Make Your Mother Sleep In The Kitchen
You may not have noticed in your initial excitement, but there’s only one bedroom in the starting home of the Pokémon games. Your beloved mother, who wishes you nothing but the best in this world, is forced to sleep in the kitchen. She slaves away, cooking and cleaning the entire home, handling the entire move to a new city, and you play video games upstairs. That woman works too damn hard!
Seriously, though. This one is not your fault. The game’s developers and art team only afforded one bedroom to the starting home. Of course, you do leave on an adventure. Once you’re out the door, we’re sure that poor woman settled into your old bedroom. When she hears you’re coming home for a visit, she quickly removes all her things.
15 Baiting The People (Pokémon GO)
Seriously, people suck. There are sociopaths out there praying on Pokémon GO players, hoping to rob, steal, or viciously attack someone who is seeking entertainment in their own way. While Pokémon GO has died down in popularity, at its peak, people would wander the roads seeking to catch their favorite creatures. The mobile title was effective at bringing people outdoors for once.
At the time, those with less-than-ideal motives would set lures to attract people to their local park or basketball court. Once a victim arrived, they would rob them of their mobile devices and any cash found on their person. It was a terrible crime, and one that happened more often than once, unfortunately. Again, people suck. If you still play Pokémon GO, opt for a group or a friend when wandering the pathways near your home.
14 Enter Glitch City
Glitch City is fun. You may access Glitch City by executing a series of proper steps in the Kanto Safari Zone. Specifically, you must enter the Safari Game, then immediately after, attempt to leave. The attendance will ask whether you’d like to cut your session short. Respond “no” and re-enter the Safari Zone. Your game must then be saved and reset. When you attempt to leave the Safari Zone now, you’ll be asked whether you’d like to join a Safari Game. You should reply “no” once more, then leave through the south exit. After 500 steps in any location besides the Safari Zone, the PA will ring, and you’ll be warped to the gate. By leaving the south exit once more, you’ll enter Glitch City.
13 Eat My Shorts!
At some point, you’ll stumble across a young boy itching to do battle with your Pokémon. Go ahead and fight him, as winning means some cash and experience points for your own team. That’s not the odd part, though. At some point, either before or after, said boy will begin to discuss his shorts. His love of shorts, and whatnot. It’s odd and downright pedophiliac. Honestly, this was originally designed as a children’s game. It’s understandable that the studio would want some youngster banter included. However, most people playing the game are older. It just comes across as odd to discuss a young boy’s shorts.
Seriously, it feels downright icky. Whether you skip past this young trainer or not is up to you, though. As always, the choice is yours!
12 Real-Life Detective Work (Pokemon GO)
Last year, at the height of Pokémon GO’s popularity, some players stumbled across an unexpected surprise in San Diego Park. According to police, the group, while hunting for virtual monsters of their own, found a dead body near the creek bed. The players were wandering the trails, playing their augmented reality game around 3 p.m. in Marian Bear Memorial Park when they found the remains of a man who had been long dead.
Officer Travis Easter, a spokesman for the San Diego Police Department, said, ‘That’s not a part of the game.’ Yeah, we’re inclined to agree, Mr. Easter. You’re supposed to find monsters to do battle with, not dead people. This was surely a shock to the group. This is not the first time a dead body has been stumbled across because of a game, and probably not the last either.
11 Don't Do It...
Following the release of Pokémon Red/Green, the Lavender Town Syndrome Mystery came to light. In the game, Lavender Town is an unsettling region, home to the Pokémon Tower, which is haunted by Ghost-type creatures. The area has supposedly caused the deaths of 100 children in Japan.
According to reports, after listening to the background theme music of Lavender Town, 100 Japanese children aged between 10 and 15 were affected in a negative way by this. According to the myth, the background music of the haunted in-game location is said to contain a high-pitched tone only heard by children. The tone is said to make kids lose their mind momentarily, causing them to pitch themselves off buildings or injure themselves.
10 Black Market Dealings
Believe it or not, there are black market elements within the world of Pokémon. Just like in the real world. These nefarious ne’er-do-wells profit of the exploitation of various creatures and people. One such creature, one which we all know and love, is the Slowpoke. You’ve most likely heard that slowpoke tail is a delicacy. A single tail can sell for 9800 in-game cash. The item does not do anything, and will only resell for half that amount. Still, they’re highly sought-after items on the market.
In Generation II, Team Rocket takes control of Azalea Town and the Slowpoke Well to harvest their valuable tails. In HeartGold and SoulSilver, a man will sell you a Slowpoke Tail for 1,000,000. Prior to Gen. V, this amount is impossible to carry. If you do manage to get your hands on a tail, you may choose to sell it to the right person for a large monetary gain. Therefore, you’re profiting from black market sales.
9 It's Up To You To Stop Crime
There is a police force in the world of Pokémon. They’re all made up of the same woman, basically. At least, they’re all related and identical. Can you imagine their mother? Anyway, it’s the police force’s job to handle an international crime syndicate. Or at least, it should be. Instead, the task is left to you. A young trainer who just receives their first Pokémon just a few days prior. You’re young, too. Like, really young. In fact, you’re not even a teenager yet.
Anyway, you’re tasked with toppling Team Rocket. Their overarching goal is world domination through Pokémon. They also traffic in illegal items via the black market, theft, slavery, robbery, and a myriad of other nefarious acts. These are seriously bad people. It’s a wonder they’ve made it into a game intended for children.
8 This Guy's Just A Little Creepy
At some point, you’ll travel through Celadon City. If you’ve got a watchful eye, you’ll spot an elderly man taking advantage of Team Rocket’s influx into the metropolis. The local police department is preoccupied with their newfound problems. So, this elderly individual, who is obviously a pervert, is spotted peering through windows.
When confronted, he’ll declare “Heheh! This gym is great! It’s full of women!” Yeah, those aren’t really women inside. Instead, it’s teenage girls who are doing battle with their Pokémon. This old bastard is peeking in windows and watching young girls hop around and do battle. Fortunately for him, you’re not a police officer. If you were, the old man would have been hauled off to the nearest jail for quite some time.
7 This Seems A Little Abusive
Have you ever spotted a squirrel or an average dog in the world of Pokémon? No? That’s because there aren’t any. The animals in this game world are all Pokémon. In the real-world, if you lock an animal in a cage for extended periods of time without food or water, or throw them through the air, or make them fight each other, that’s called animal abuse. Why should it be any different in the world of Pokémon? The games have always claimed that humans and Pokémon live side-by-side, in harmony. Right?
Doing battle with Pokémon is animal abuse, plain and simple. At least, it would be in the game world. In our world, it’s just entertainment on a screen. They’re not real animals, nor will they ever be. No one is coming to cart you off to jail for enjoying the latest Pokémon release.
6 Ditto Probably Feels Really Used...
Ditto is often considered one of the most useful Pokémon in the franchise. Unfortunately, she often ends up with the same fate–stuck in a daycare as a partner for whichever other Pokémon you toss into the room. Yep, that’s right. Ditto is invaluable when it comes to repopulating the Pokémon population. You literally pimp out this pink, gushy mess of happiness for your own gain. If that’s not exploitation, I don’t know what is.
You can’t sit there and tell us you’ve never done such a thing. Almost everyone, at one point or another, has left their Ditto at the daycare for an extended period. Either you simply forget she’s there, or you knowingly subject them to in-game breeding with the masses.
5 Real-Life Underground Mines (Pokémon GO)
Don’t you want to have your own adventures? You know, like those found in Pokémon? You bet! Everyone does! Well, thanks to Pokémon GO, you too can enjoy the world around you while capturing imaginary monsters. Yeah, let’s go!
While enjoying Pokémon GO, a group decided to wander into an underground mine. Said mine, which is rather dangerous, had been abandoned for quite some time, apparently. The group, all teenage boys, went 100ft underground in search of their latest capture. The foursome was “glum and embarrassed” by their action afterward, as local rescue services were called to rescue the boys. The mines, known as Box Mines, in Hawthorn, Wiltshire, are part of a larger cave network. Guys, don’t wander into a mine in search of imaginary creatures. It’s just dumb.
4 Did You Really Have To Climb That? (Pokémon Go)
Hey! You know what would be cool? If we continue with the dumb things people have done while playing Pokémon GO. Let’s do that!
Talk about messed up, a New Jersey woman found herself stuck in a tree after she climbed up to capture a Pokémon in the augmented reality mobile title. Firefighters were called to the local cemetery to rescue the woman after she attempted to climb to the top for a rare catch. Part way up, she realized she wouldn’t get down safely. Well, she was right. Embarrassed, and wishing to remain anonymous, the woman called for rescue services after realizing she was downright stuck. It’s unclear which Pokémon she was attempting to capture. Hopefully, it was a good one, though. She certainly has a story to tell, though.
3 I'm An Adult, Mom! I'm 10 Years Old!
Okay, let’s get this out of the way. In Pokémon, you’re around 10-years-old, give or take. At 10, I don’t know about you, but I was enjoying my time outside, trying to pay attention in school, and making new friends. I certainly wasn’t traveling the world to battle total strangers, wander through cave networks, and stop an international crime syndicate.
Again, you’re just a child. It’s odd that the developer would select someone so young to be their starring role. I know the game was meant for children, and many kids want to go on an adventure, but a little realism would have been nice. No child is doing what one does in this franchise. It’s absurd.
2 What's This Bike Made Out Of?
Continuing with the theme of being just a child, what kid has $1 million to purchase what is, assumedly, the world’s most expensive bike. I mean, a million-dollar bike must be built of diamonds, right? Otherwise, how could one justify such an immense price tag? Well, this isn’t the real world, obviously. In the real world, I don’t think a million-dollar bike would fly with anyone, not even Kanye. Who knows?!
Now, the price tag is set excruciatingly high for a reason. You need the bike voucher to ride. The exorbitant price tag is the game’s way of forcing you through the story elements. Otherwise, you’d be grinding for a year or two to afford a bike. That’s simply not worth it. And second of all, why can’t anyone else ride a bike off the beaten path in the game world? Seriously, have you noticed anyone riding their bicycle anywhere besides the bike trails? I haven’t.
1 Maybe The Cops Were Playing Too? (Pokémon Go)
In most states, it’s illegal to use a phone while driving. Some allow you to talk on the phone, but never text or look down at it. That’s why, when a Baltimore driver crashed into a police car while playing Pokémon GO, he was certainly at fault.
Obviously, the police department doesn’t want such incidents to become the norm. They’d rather avoid accidents altogether. Hence why the Baltimore Police Department posted a video on their social media channels, showing a man–who told the police he was looking at his phone while playing Pokémon GO–drove straight into a parked police vehicle. In the video, a group of officers shown talking on the sidewalk, their car parked along the street. In the background, an SUV is seen driving through a light and slamming into the parked car, then rolling down the road a bit further. Police immediately responded.