Note: All opinions expressed in this article are solely that of the author and were published for comedic/ entertainment purposes.
Remember when we were little kids, watching the first Harry Potter film with wide eyes filled with wonderment? Severus Snape was honestly one of the most archetypal cruel teacher-villains to ever exist in a film. We had him pegged from the start and our scrutiny did not wave for a second. Every time something went wrong, we did not hesitate to thrust the blame upon him. Remember when it was revealed that Quirrell was the true villain and that Snape was trying to help the gang this entire time? And how that literally did not change anyone's perception of him as one of the series’ major antagonists?
So why did the entire fandom turn on its head when it was revealed that Snape had been jonesing for some alone time with the late Lily Potter since the literal day that they met? Cool motive bro, still not an acceptable way to treat children placed under your care. Even J.K. Rowling herself claims that even though his love does not erase the fullest extent of his cruelties, it should at least soften the blow a little bit. So grab your cauldron cakes and a mug filled to the brim with Butterbeer while I take you through twenty-five things that everyone gets wrong about Severus Snape. Surprisingly, there are a lot of things that people get wrong about this professor!
25 A True Saviour
Yes, he stood between Harry and minor danger a few times during the several years in which Harry was at Hogwarts. And for that, we are grateful, as this boy seems to be a danger magnet.
But on that fate-filled night, he had his sights set on Lily.
Do you think he would have given Merlin’s beard if he had found Harry lying motionless next to his cold father if Lily had been the one to survive that attack? Didn’t think so. The only reason he leaked Voldy’s plans in the first place was to save Lily.
24 Always The Victim
When someone seems to be the victim in every single one of their stories, you have to question their integrity as a narrator. People who blame the world for their sorrows will find a way to twist every single event in a way that portrays the world as a cruel antagonist and themselves as the battered hero/victim. And while it is true that Snape was dealt a bit of a raw deal in his youth, that does not mean that he gets a free pass to be a jerk to everyone he meets well into adulthood.
23 The Golden Terrors
“But Zooey,” the Snape-stans of the internet cry. “The only reason he was cruel to Harry and his friends was because of the ways in which they reminded him of what he had lost.”
First of all, you can’t lose something that was never yours in the first place.
Second of all, so what? No one has the right to treat someone, especially a child entrusted in their care, with cruelty simply because they remind them of someone that was mean to them twenty or so years ago. That likeness is not their fault. Let go of the past, dude.
22 Questionable Academic Promise
Hey, I’m not blinded by my hatred of the character. Snape was an incredibly adept and talented wizard. It is clear that he excelled at potions, based on his edits to his high school text, but I find myself questioning how he chose to use those powers. I know he had a hard adolescence and I don’t mean to undercut that in anyway. Trauma during one's formative years can be difficult to shake but that does not mean that you can create a spell in which to shred human beings to ribbons. That is not how we process our pain.
21 Circumstantial Protector
One thing that makes me question Snape’s role as the children's’ “protector” was the fact that his protection was shoddy at best.
Though he does prevent true harm from befalling on the children, he does seem to allow everyday torment and cruelties to go a touch too far. I don’t know about you but I don’t know if I could trust a protector who picks and chooses when the pain is severe enough to intervene and when to sit back and enjoy the show.
20 Misunderstood Ally
Yes, it was insanely brave of him to double cross the dark lord. Few people had the guts to undermine him anonymously and Snape did truly put himself on the line each and every time he spilled the beans to the Order. However, the cruel way in which he treats his fellow Order members is honestly unacceptable. Mocking Tonks for her changing Patronus when he did the exact same thing. Trying to get Sirius’s soul extracted from his body. Getting Moony sacked from his first stable job in years… Childhood grudges mean nothing when there is a war brewing.
19 Alternative Teaching Techniques
I’m sorry, but I do not care what an adept sorcerer Snape is.
There is no need to attempt to embarrass a child on their first day at Hogwarts for not having a high-level understanding of potions. There is no need to threaten to end the life of someone's pet in front of them as punishment for having the nerve to be born on the same day as another child. Yes, he did a lot of good and aided the fight against bad but that does not and will not excuse treating innocent children with such cruelty.
18 Neville's Worst Dream
The only reason that Harry Potter is the “chosen one” is because Tom Riddle chose him to be. Literally. If he had chosen Neville, then he would have been the chosen one and Harry would have gone on to live a semi-normal life. But he didn’t. He chose Harry. Which meant that Lily and James had to go. That’s the way it is.
And it is neither the fault of Harry nor Neville.
And anyone who thinks that it is okay to punish either of these children for this should not be placed in charge of a pile of gobstones, let alone children.
17 A Noble Double Agent
I believe in delivering credit where credit is due. Being a double agent against the dark lord in an attempt to help the Order block his every move takes a lot of guts and should not be overlooked. He had to provide the Order with enough information that they would be able to keep themselves (and others) safe but not enough to alert Tom nor the rest of the Death Eaters to the mole in their ranks. He had to silently watch countless horrors in order to avoid arousing suspicion. And that is no easy task.
16 The Villainous Mauraders
I firmly believe that age-appropriate mistakes should not be held against those who have committed them. Teenagers act out, try on different versions of themselves, go too far in an attempt to impress their friends, and can honestly be shockingly cruel to each other.
But the beauty of life is that these people can change.
They can learn from these mistakes, grow, and become the people that they were always meant to be. The Marauders carried out acts of cruelty towards Snape in their youth. And that is not okay. But neither is punishing the next generation.
15 True Love Lost
I’m sorry, but I personally do not believe that you can truly love someone if that feeling is not mutual. I believe that Snape was in love with the idea of Lily, rather than Lily herself. Which is why he reacted so negatively when she did things outside of what he expected her to do. He had created the perfect woman inside his own mind and slapped Lily’s face atop that creation and then expected the real-life version to mirror the inventions, behavior, and reactions. But that's not how anything works.
14 Exposing Remus
The best revenge is a life well lived. I’m sure that every adult who spent their formative years being tormented by their peers loves to envision a future in which their childhood bullies spend their days serving up fries at the local burger joint. But that isn't reality.
You can’t spend your entire life seeking revenge on those who have scorned you.
I firmly believe that alerting the parents of Remus’ condition is not only unnecessarily cruel but also prejudiced in the highest degree. Imagine being that petty.
13 The Arrogance Of Potter
There is a big debate within the fandom on whether or not James Potter was a good person and if he can be forgiven while Snape is judged. I am here to settle this issue once and for all. James was a bully. There is no two ways around that. He was a total jerk. But he grew out of that and never made excuses for his behavior. Snape, on the other hand, carried his trauma around in his back pocket and not only blamed the world for his lingering pain but used it to excuse all of his continued cruelties.
12 Protector Of The Orphaned
Yes, he protected Harry from some of the bigger monsters that came after him in his youth.
And for that, we should all be grateful.
However, does that really make up for the fact that he took it upon himself to dedicate his every spare moment to making sure Harry was as miserable as he could legally make him? Double agent or not, that is still unacceptable and I find myself questioning Dumbledore himself for never putting a stop to that nonsense- especially when it began to be directed at Neville as well.
11 Lily's Final Moments
Ah, yes. The “beautiful” moment in which we see Snape clutching a fallen Lily and weeping over a love lost. The moment in which Snape went from uber creep to the tragic hero in the eyes of the fandom. But should this weird moment truly be held in such high regard? He is literally clutching the corpse of a woman who continually rejected his increasingly aggressive advances in life while her orphaned child screams in the background. That sounds like a scene from a horror movie rather than a romantic tragedy to me. Leave Lily alone.
10 Justified Mistreatment
Okay, I get it. Snape was mean to Remus because he was directly related to his childhood trauma. He was mean Harry because he looked like James and because “he was the reason that Lily met her maker that fateful night.” Snape was mean to Neville because “it should have been him instead.”
But what about the other children?
Sure, Ron was a nuisance but why did he mock Hermione time and time again in front of her peers? Why on Earth would a teacher be so cruel towards the literal only child in that entire school who is willing to answer your questions?
9 Quick To Do Things The Wrong Way
There is something dark inside of Snape. He may resist it. But it’s there. If it wasn’t for that darkness would he have attacked Lily’s sister? Created a spell to tear his enemies apart? Thrown about racial slurs and then join the wizarding alt-right the moment a girl rejected him? Spend years tormenting children in order to feel better about his sad childhood? There was a darkness inside of him that cannot be denied. Whether it was his driving force is uncertain but its existence must be acknowledged; at the very least.
8 A Knight In Greasy Armour
Alright, I am about to lay out an incredibly controversial opinion. Snape forcing himself to stay alive in order to allow Harry to collect the tears needed to watch through his memories in the pensive was truly creepy. Yes, Harry needed to know that Snape was on his side and had been this entire time but there had to have been a better way to do that. Maybe ghost-Dumbledore could have briefed him on the situation while he was visiting King's Cross during his mid-battle forest nap.
7 A Trust Misplaced
Is it fair to say that Dumbledore placed far too much trust in Snape while Harry placed far too little? Snape truly belongs in the medium place. He was a truly bad person who did some surprisingly good things. Dumbledore needed to realize that Snape was a total jerk and should not be allowed to teach a room full of children without supervision until he could prove that he could get through one lesson without mocking them. And Harry needed to realize that Snape was on his side and to stop trying to pin everything on him.
6 A Villain's Scapegoat
Look, you’ve gone and got me feeling sorry for Snape. It’s rather a pity that his cruel behavior allowed the true villains of the series to skate by virtually unnoticed for extended periods of time as the blame for their actions was placed entirely on him.
Though he is not completely innocent, it is unfair to blame him for the things he did not do and to avoid giving credit where credit is due.
He truly did put himself on the line in Harry’s first year while attempting to keep his little butt out of harm's way.