.jpg?q=50&fit=contain&w=1140&h=570&dpr=1.5)
Xenoblade Chronicles 3 is a pretty fantastic game, no one is denying that. It combines everything that made the previous two games in the series great, with a whole load of brilliant innovations.
Unfortunately — or fortunately, depending on how you look at it — that means it brings with it all the weird and wonderful things from the previous games. From weapons that weigh nothing to doing side quests while the world ends, there are plenty of things that simply make no sense in Xenoblade Chronicles 3.
5 Do Weapons Weigh Anything?
There are a lot of different weapons that the player can use in Xenoblade Chronicles 3. From enormous hammers to just two big fists, each weapon offers you a range of unique arts. To unlock new weapons and the ability to switch between them, you must first either master them with their original owner or unlock a new hero. So, to get that big hammer, you’re going to want to get Sena all the way up to rank ten. All of this makes sense within the context of Xenoblade Chronicles 3’s universe. That’s not what we have a problem with.
Rather, what we’re curious about is just how certain characters can wield these enormous weapons. For example, Xenoblade Chronicles 3 makes a big point about how Sena is prone to weightlifting. She’s one tough cookie, and it stands to reason that that’s why she can use such a big hammer. So, then why can Taion? It doesn’t look like Taion has lifted a weight in his life, and yet there he is, holding this giant hammer. Do the weapons in Xenoblade Chronicles 3 not weigh anything? Or is Taion secretly the next Arnold Schwarzenegger?
4 Repetitive Dialogue
If you’ve played even one of the Xenoblade Chronicles games, then you’ll absolutely know what we’re talking about when we say characters tend to repeat themselves. A lot. In fact, you may be cringing in your seats right now, remembering Rex shouting “Let’s show them a thing or three.” However, if you’re new to the series, then let us explain. Whenever in battle, characters tend to repeat their lines a lot. Whenever they use an attack, whenever they win, lose, have a little sulk, or maybe just feel like it. They’ll repeat themselves all the time.
The thing is, this makes no sense within the game’s universe. You’re telling us that no one thinks it's odd that they all keep shouting the same things over and over again? No one wants to stop and just say something a little different. It’d be like if every time you played a game of football your mates shouted “This is serious”, “Wow, we’ve almost won”, “You’ve got this, keep going”, and nothing but. How annoying would that be? Don’t worry though, we’re here to help. If you’re finding the repetition a little annoying, or are about to jump into this beautiful JRPG, here’s a handy tip for you — play it in Japanese. Trust us, you’ll be saving your ears a lot of pain.
3 Unique Monster Names
Can we talk about the Unique Monster names in Xenoblade Chronicles 3 for a second? It’s just out of hand by this point. If you not sure what we mean by this, just run around Aionios for a little while and read out loud some of the Unique Monsters' names. Preferably without context, and to a group of strangers. See if they want to hang around with you afterwards. You’ve got Househunter Carly — do they hunt houses? — Killhappy Brijaidor, and of course, who could forget Jingoistic Gigantus?
Now, if you don’t see a problem with these names, that’s perfectly fine. But frankly, we can’t help but find them a little odd. It’s like the folks at Monolith Soft went through a thesaurus and picked out words at random. Some of these names don’t even sound real — Bushwhacker, Widdershins, Kilocorn. Perhaps we need to widen our vocabulary. After all, it may be auspicious to gasconadicate about the circumlocution of our callipygian articles. Maybe we have what it takes to name the Unique Monsters in Xenoblade Chronicles 4: Conviviality Sesquipedalian?
2 The Level 80 Gorilla
Speaking of Jingoistic Gigantus, what’s up with that big gorilla? For those not in the know, the Xenoblade Chronicles games tend to have a giant gorilla roaming around starting areas. They are always high-levelled monsters that will kill you with one fatal swoop. The bizarrely named Jingoistic Gigantus is a homage to that wonderfully awful gorilla, which we’re sure fans of the original games will appreciate. But newcomers may be a little perturbed when they see it.
Having a level 80 creature near when you’re nothing but a wee level ten is pretty terrifying. Its sheer size is enough to make anyone run, but that horrifying scarlet-coloured number next to its name will instill even the bravest of us with a nail-biting fear. So, why is it right at the beginning? Is it just there to taunt us, or to encourage us to get stronger, so we can come back and slay it? After all, it did kill us a bunch of times, for doing literally nothing. Well, apart from that time we figured we’d give fighting it a shot. Oh, and that second time we tried to kill it. And then there was that third and fourth time, just for laughs. Were we the Jingoistic Gigantus all along?
1 We'll Be Right Back After This Side Quest
It’s no secret that JRPGs tend to throw a whole load of additional side content at us. In fact, Xenoblade Chronicles 1 offered so many side quests that anyone who dared attempt complete them all is still going now. Fortunately, Xenoblade Chronicles 3’s side quests are actually pretty spectacular, so you'll likely feel inclined to complete them.
Simply put, doing side quests in Xenoblade Chronicles 3 doesn’t really make all that much sense. Factor in the constant looming threat that Mio has only a few months left to live, and you'll wonder why Noah is agreeing to help all of these people. Sure, helping them helps you and the world at large, but realistically, it’s not the most important thing in the world. Certainly not more important than liberating other colonies and ensuring your friend doesn’t die.