Valentine's Day is here and love is in the air. Unfortunately, in the streaming era where people put their personalities on display on a daily basis, that so-called “love” is sometimes entirely one-sided.

It’s understandable, if not always reasonable, that a person who has frequent interactions with a Twitch streamer could come to relate to them on a personal level. Psychologists refer to such one-sided relationships with celebrities and media personalities as “parasocial interaction.” Twitch can exacerbate this sense of closeness due to its chat function, which in turn allows the streamers to respond in real time.

But often, people develop distorted views of the nature of their relationships with streamers. The perception of Twitch as a place to meet a romantic or sexual partner is presently a hot topic of conversation in the Twitch community.

Most reasonable people understand Twitch isn’t a dating site. While stream content can range from serious to funny and even to raunchy, it’s intended only as a platform for people to provide entertainment and accept fan donations for doing so. As such, it seems it would be common sense for fans and followers to respect a streamer’s boundaries. However, it’s alarming how many people fail to exercise restraint.

If You Want To Find A Partner, Twitch Is The Wrong Place

In an eye-opening incident, streamer GadgetGirlKylie explained her frustrations with Twitch followers who violate boundaries.

The incident illustrates how some people view a person's decision to stream on Twitch as a license to treat them as a fantasy partner.

"I’m a pretty laid back streamer but in this case, I wasn’t going to let a viewer tell me to stop talking about my boyfriend because they fancy me," GadgetGirlKylie told TheGamer via Twitter direct message.

It seems obvious that no one should have to endure advances from strangers simply for choosing to broadcast video games. Yet, it happens to some streamers on a near-daily basis. Infractions may from range unwanted flirtation to aggressive behavior from individuals who actively seek to harass streamers.

"I would say that viewers come in and flirt with me more often than not on streams," she said. "I couldn’t give an exact figure but I do feel like it’s almost every stream."

She explained that streamers have various thresholds of what they're willing to tolerate. For her, the vast majority of viewer interactions — even the flirtatious ones — haven't overstepped these lines. Only rarely has a viewer's behavior reached the point where she had to ban them. Typically, that's enough to stop the individual from going any further.

However, for some streamers, rejecting someone's advances can lead to social media trolling, stalking, swatting and a myriad of other types of harassment.

RELATED: Streamer Confronts Stalker On Twitch, Exposes Threats To Kill Her And Her Family

It appears women are the primary targets of such unsolicited flirtation. But there are also people attempt to indulge their own fantasies on the basis of a streamer’s self-identification as LGBTQ+, as a Person of Color or even something as basic as a shared interest in cosplay.

"I think viewers can have fantasies about dating their streamer idol. They may have lurked for a period of time and developed a connection from that, or talking with the streamer in the chat," GadgetGirlKylie said.

As streaming has become a viable career choice, there's also now an inherent allure in dating a professional streamer, she points out.

"It’s also the thrill of interacting with a streamer there and then when they are live, getting their attention and feeling special in chat compared everyone else," she said. "I suppose in some cases when a viewer fancies a streamer they can misinterpret kindness or attention as something more because it’s fulfilling that fantasy for them."

That fantasy may manifest as one-sided romantic interest. In extreme cases, the person may develop a sense that the streamer owes them something. The viewer may even point to their hefty donations, gifted subscriptions and longtime channel support as leverage.

Having built that narrative in their mind, it can then come as a shock to that viewer that the streamer crush isn't interested in them.

"They get really mad when they find out the streamer is in a relationship because their fantasy clearly isn’t going to happen. They then lash out over it," she said. "A viewer should only watch, sub or donate to support the work that the streamer is doing, and not have the expectation that eventually it will become a relationship, or the streamer owes them."

Two pairs of sneakers are on opposite sides of a boundary line that has Twitch logos on it.
via: PositivePsychology / TheGamer
Two pairs of sneakers are on opposite sides of a boundary line that has Twitch logos on it.

No one is obligated to disclose their relationship status just so their viewers can keep their own romantic fantasies alive. Many streamers prefer to keep aspects of their lives private, for safety reasons or merely as a personal preference.

"I’ve never kept my boyfriend a secret to my viewers, but it is a shame that some viewers feel like you should keep your partner secret to make yourself more appealing," she said.

The pendulum also streams the other way. Some streamers use their status within the Twitch community to facilitate their advances. They might invite another person to co-stream with them and use that as an opportunity to pursue them. They know they can use their power to get what they want and have no qualms about doing so. And unfortunately, much of this behavior gets swept under the rug.

One of the most egregious examples of this involves former Twitch streamer and World of Warcraft community personality Thomas Cheung. The streamer's long history of sexually aggressive behavior only came to light after he was arrested as part of a child sex sting operation.

A Message Worth Repeating: Twitch Is Not A Dating Site

Twitch shouldn’t be viewed as a place to find a partner for physical or romantic intimacy. Using it for such reasons puts streamers, the majority of whom are just “normal” people who play video games as a hobby or for a living, in extremely uncomfortable positions.

RELATED: Streamer Gets Banned For Sexually Harassing Yvonne, Blames Her For Sending "White Knight" Army

It's true that plenty of streamers have found love through Twitch. But typically, these are people who’ve gotten to know one another in the context of shared interests. Perhaps they became friends through a Discord community, or they hit it off when they met in person at Twitchcon. In any case, it’s rarely because a total stranger professed their love for the streamer in their stream chat.

To turn Twitch into a place where people aggressively pursue relationships presents an overwhelming obstacle to those who are only interested in broadcasting good content. Twitch isn’t a dating site. This Valentine’s Day, the best gift you can give your streamer crush is to respect their boundaries.

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