Video games are one of the most imaginative kinds of media out there. In the real world, I might be a scrub making coffee by day and writing for the greatest website ever created by night. But in a video game world, I might be, like, a snowboarder or something.
Video games are full of weird, totally unique stuff that could never exist in the real world, including some of the cutest and coolest animals ever. Rather, they would be cool and cute, if they were real. But they're not.
5 Fish - Slimy And Floppy
Somehow it became a trope that pretty much every game has to have some kind of "fishing" mechanic, where you toss a little hook into some water to catch strange, floppy aquatic creatures called "fish." I don't know how or why all game designers everywhere seemed to get the same memo, but these creatures seem to show up in just about every game ever.
I mean, it would be cool if they existed I guess - I'd be down to chill by a lake and pull up some dinner. But the widespread video game popularity of these creatures seems a little... fishy. Wait.
4 Turtles - Ninja Or Otherwise
Okay, so, imagine a dude. Just a normal dude with a head and a body and whatever else. Now give that dude a literal house on their back. That sounds pretty chill, right? Video games sure seem to think so, as these dudes show up everywhere.
You can't throw a banana these days without hitting a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle or a Bowser with a big, spiky shell. I would definitely want to be able to take a nap wherever I go, you know what I mean? Too bad turtles only exist in video games.
3 Gorillas - Like A Human, But Not Really
Speaking of bananas, you know what video game animals love bananas? Gorillas! Just check out any of the Donkey Kong games: the big guy just goes... well, bananas over his fruit. I can appreciate any animal with a healthy love for nature's bounty, and gorillas have that in spades.
Plus, look at how they can swing around all day. That seems like fun! They're almost... human, in a weird way. Oh well, guess we'll never truly understand what Donkey Kong is.
2 Kangaroos - They Bounce, They Fight
Platformers love a fictional animal mascot. Like, look at the lineup: you've got bandicoots, you've got lombaxes, and you've got... whatever Rayman is. Heck, you've even got strange things like the recently revived Kao The Kangaroo!
These so-called "kangaroos" have big ears, a honking snout, a cute little tail, and bounce around. Plus, they apparently love boxing and battling enemies, which... same. If a kangaroo was real, I feel like they could really hang. Alas, our dreams of a kangaroo friend will have to remain just that: a dream.
1 Dogs - Imagine A World With Puppers
Dogs just seem like wonderful, sweet, helpful creatures. Whether they're helping you dig up buried treasure in The Legend Of Zelda: Breath Of The Wild or helping you run an island purgatory in Animal Crossing: New Horizons, these fuzzy weirdos are, to coin a totally unique and never before seen phrase, gamers' best friend.
If dogs were real, then I'd definitely get one and scratch its dumb furry ears all day. But alas, dogs are only to be found in the digital world, and I'll have to get my fill with my ancient fossilized copy of Nintendogs.