Video games have come a long way from the early days of the NES. For one, consoles, and the games themselves, now have a shorter distance between regional premieres. Sometimes it could take years for a Japanese game to get translated and brought over to the West. For example, Final Fantasy debuted in 1987 in Japan and not until 1990 in North America.
Translating games was more difficult then as the process was less than stellar. It led to a lot of translation errors in other words. That’s not to say translating games is perfect today because they still get weird errors. Let’s go through some of the funniest and/or worst examples. For more besides these, Legends of Localization is a great source that helps uncover what the real lines were along with some other reporting.
10 You Spoony Bard (Final Fantasy IV)
“You Spoony Bard” is spoken in an exchange between Tellah and Bard in Final Fantasy IV. In the original Japanese text, Tellah talks more about his daughter and how disgusted he is with Bard’s behavior. This translation wasn’t so much an error as it was a creative choice and one that has been referenced in other Final Fantasy games like Final Fantasy Tactics and Final Fantasy X. It has also been featured in other games like Phoenix Wright.
9 I Feel Asleep (Metal Gear)
“I feel asleep” should refer more to the character falling asleep once knocked out in Metal Gear. The character could also say “I feel sleepy” which would make more sense. This NES version is filled with other golden lines as well. This includes “The truck have started to move” which is just great broken, but hilarious English.
8 All Your Base Are Belong To Us (Zero Wing)
“All Your Base Are Belong To Us” is from a horizontal shooter called Zero Wing. It’s not remembered as being a great game. It’s average at best. Its legacy has survived because of this error along with countless others.
Some of the best blunders include “What you say” “You have no chance to survive make your time” and “You know what you doing.”
7 Salad Toss Show (Breath Of Fire II)
Breath of Fire II from the SNES has too many errors to go through. Most of them oddly enough turn the game into one filled with unintentional innuendos. “I’m going to begin the Salad Toss Show” is the full line which should not need explaining. Besides innuendos, there are also obvious blunders like misspelling words after spelling them right in a previous line or doubling up on words like “The line got got away.”
6 Congratulation Errors Times 2
There are two classic NES games worth dunking on. The first is Ghostbusters which misspells congratulations as “Conglaturation!” After that it also insults players by saying “You have complete a great game” which is a lie as it is the opposite of a great game. The other game is Ghosts 'N Goblins which ends with “Congraturation, the story is happy end.” Is no one spell checking stuff in the 80s and 90s?
5 A Miserable Little Pile Of Secrets (Castlevania: Symphony Of The Night)
Castlevania: Symphony of The Night is still celebrated as one of the best games ever made. It does have some odd choices for translations though. The most infamous of which has Dracula saying “What is a man” followed by “A miserable little pile of secrets.” In Japanese he more literally says “Foolish devil” followed by “I will prove to you which of us is right… with death!” That is also a cheesy line but it makes more sense than the secret pile.
4 Dargon Quest IV
Dragon Quest IV launched on the iOS store in 2014. Most of the game is totally fine all except for the digital store shelf itself. Before corrected it read, Dargon Quest IV. That’s funny but what is a bit more insulting was the price. It was $19 in 2014 and in seven years it has only dropped to $15.
3 Chun-Li, The Family Man (Street Fighter II)
“Go home and be a family man” is something Guile responds to most challengers. It doesn’t make sense to say that to Chun-Li though. It’s also funny if he responds with “Are you man enough to fight with me?”
In Japanese the correct message should read “Go back to your home country” followed by “You have a family of your own to take care of…” It’s easy to see how the English line was truncated to save memory space for the text which was a legitimate problem back then.
2 Congrats From Zak (Kido Senshi Gundam Part 1: Gundam Daichi Ni Tatsu)
This PC-88 text adventure game based on the Gundam anime released in Japan only. However, the entire thing is in English making for some great text based comedy. One of the best lines from Char reads “Congratulations for complete of your mission” followed by “Now is the time half past of this game.” What is that even saying? The game also hilariously calls the Zaku mechs Zak as in “The Zak is perished and exploded.”
1 No Russian (Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 2)
The No Russian level in this game is one of the most infamous levels in Call of Duty history. In English the line should be “Remember, no Russian.” This is said to make sure these terrorists posing as Americans don’t blow their cover as they massacre an airport of civilians. In Japan it was translated to “Kill them, they’re Russian.” That misses the point entirely.