10 Most Intentionally Useless Weapons In Video Games

Whether they're jokes, easter eggs, or something in between, the developers obviously intended these video game weapons to be practically worthless.

Video games typically pride themselves on giving players multiple ways of overcoming obstacles. A large number of weapons or movement abilities can help players beat some of the hardest challenges games can offer. Sometimes, these weapons can do their job to great effect. Other times, these weapons can be lacking.

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Even worse, sometimes those weapons are intentionally lacking. They might be unable to damage anything, come with no ammo, or do something completely head-scratching. This might be done as a joke from the developer, or to punish players for playing exceptionally poorly. Regardless of the reasoning, here are 10 of the most intentionally useless weapons in video games.

10 Fists (Doom 1993)

Slaying the demons of Hell requires the best of weapons. Doom provides players with shotguns, a minigun, and one of the most iconic weapons in video game history. With that said, sometimes you run out of ammo for everything. When that happens, the Doom marine is left with only his fists.

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And they suck. Punching does a pitiful amount of damage, somehow dealing less than the starter pistol. The damage output is so terrible the player would be better off throwing their weapon at the enemy instead. Thankfully, the pistol in Doom 2016, when upgraded, is somewhat more useful compared to punching.

9 Potatoes (Call of Duty 2)

When materials are lacking, improvisation is sometimes the best thing to do. In Call of Duty 2, the Russian training mission requires the player to use potatoes as fake grenades. Besides giving the player practice with throwing fake grenades, these items serve no other purpose.

Potatoes deal almost no damage but can be used to trigger some rather humorous dialogue from enemy German soldiers. If the player throws it at a prisoner enough times, it is possible to kill him. Doing so will fail the mission, however.

8 Flowers (Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas)

What should be a nice gift can also be used as a weapon. In Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, players can find flowers as a pickup in certain areas throughout the map. You can either gift them to your girlfriend or use them as a melee weapon.

Surprisingly, flowers deal slightly more damage than hitting an enemy with fists. Despite that, flowers do almost nothing in actual combat and take quite a few hits to kill someone. Any gun will do significantly more damage than what these flowers can provide.

7 BB Gun (Fallout 3)

The first weapon players get in Fallout 3, the BB gun is a weapon with a massive magazine of 100 rounds. That is where the positives end, however, as it is tied with the Chinese pistol for the weakest weapon in the game.

Masochists can increase their Small Guns stat to make the BB gun more effective, but it will fall behind compared to every melee weapon. While a great birthday present, the BB gun is not good for surviving in the wasteland.

6 DK Pistol (Just Cause 3)

Just Cause is no stranger to Easter Eggs but this is one of the game's best. If the player can find this rather obscure pistol, they are rewarded with a pistol that deals no damage. It is an infinite ammo pistol that can not kill anything.

Instead, the DK Pistol will inflate the player's head when equipped. If they shoot anyone with it, the enemy's head also grows. The true power of this pistol is turning normal people into bobbleheads. Oh, and it works on creatures too.

5 Bricks (TimeSplitters Series)

For a joke weapon, the brick is rather powerful if used properly. While it has the potential to instantly kill if landed on the head, bricks are difficult to use and need to be unlocked through completing arcade challenges.

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Brick throwing related challenges exist in each TimeSplitters game, requiring the player to break as many objects as possible in a time limit. Succeed, and the weapon can be used in other game modes with mixed effect. It can deal lots of damage but can ricochet off walls, heavily damaging or even killing the player.

4 The Bane (Borderlands 2)

A game with billions of guns is bound to have some bad apples. While that is true, The Bane from Borderlands 2 doesn't even try to be good. It is, quite literally, the most obnoxious gun in the game.

After doing a questline for it, players will notice this weapon has a rather poor accuracy rating. Moving with it equipped is incredibly slow and sluggish. That would be acceptable if it did tremendous damage, but every bullet fired from this gun causes it to yell in the player's ears. The player will blow their ears out before they kill something.

3 Kolibri (Battlefield 1)

Based on a real weapon, the Kolibri in Battlefield 1 is the lowest damage weapon in the game. Being the smallest weapon in the game, the Kolibri also packs the least punch out of every sidearm.

Players hold this weapon with just two fingers, and the pullout animation for it is so absurd that it's hilarious. The damage is so low that the Kolibri is outclassed by melee attacks. Enemies should be embarrassed if they lose to this weapon.

2 A Pack of Cigarettes (Deus Ex)

Immersive-sim games owe much of their success to Deus Ex, considered to be one of the best open-ended RPGs made for PC.  Players have near-infinite freedom in how they accomplish objectives, something incredibly rare in most titles. This game no doubt influenced similar sandbox games like Grand Theft Auto and Skyrim.

That openness extends to the player's arsenal as well, including silenced pistols, energy rifles, and cigarettes. Yes, cigarettes. Consuming a pack damages the player but leaves a smoke patch that damages enemies. 10 packs are enough to kill the player, but a few less can kill most enemies. While smoking 8 packs a second is likely detrimental to your health, it goes to show how open-ended the Deus Ex series is.

1 Fishing Rods (Path of Exile)

Fishing is not an uncommon activity in the aRPG genre with titles like Torchlight giving bonuses to companions by fishing. Path of Exile, however, takes fishing a step further by adding an item type exclusive for fishing. Unique items exist to make fishing easier and yield additional loot.

The problem? There is no way to fish in Path of Exile. Fish are not creatures or enemies, bait is nowhere to be found, and there are no special prompts to use a fishing rod near any body of water. Unless the developers have stumped the entire Path of Exile community, fishing rods are the most useless items in the game.

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