Waking reminds me a lot of a game I can't remember the name of. Sold in hokey New Age stores and in yoga magazines, the game marketed itself as a pacifistic antithesis to mid-aughts gaming. Instead of killing and maiming, you'd look inward and learn to be a better person. To make matters worse, you couldn't actually play the game normally, you had to use this weird breathing detection apparatus that you clipped onto your hand.

It was pretty bad. Anyway, Waking reminds me a lot of this game not because of its quality, but because it has the same basic concept. It's a game that requires the player to close their eyes and do guided meditation to summon allies. A game where the pace of combat is very much intertwined with meditative breathing patterns. Where the player is forced to use good coping skills to overcome death itself.

Waking isn't a game for everyone, and I'm not even sure if it was for me. But the unique concept and oblique execution alone make it one of the quirkiest titles of the year.

"You Are Dead, Dead, Dead"

Waking puts you in the role of a dying person - ostensibly you, the player. Wrapped in bandages and on your last gasps of life, you escape to a fantastical collection of dreamscapes populated by strange beings that all tell you one thing: "Go towards the light." Yes, yes, that light - the one people see when they're dying.

Luckily, a mysterious voice calls to you from the ether; a woman, whose sole purpose is seemingly to prevent you from giving up just yet. With her help, you fight back against the forces that want you to surrender your mind, and dig up past traumas in order to find some reason to live.

On a purely narrative level, Waking is a pretty and almost profound look at death. It's no Jacob's Ladder, sure, but the fact that I'd even invoke that masterpiece's name should indicate the substance of the narrative content. The organic way that the game invites you to play on its own terms, and to really slip into the role of your player character, made me think a lot about my own life - and what I'd be thinking about should I come to death's door.

As somebody who has legitimately almost died a few times in her life, and who harbors a deep fear of ceasing to exist, this game's raw re-contextualization of death fascinated and enthralled me.

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It's More (?) Than A Game (?)

This is a complicated title to review, because from certain perspectives, it's a terrible game. There's little to no direction, the mechanics are obtuse and counter-intuitive, and the combat is like some weird bastard child of Psy-Ops: The Mindgate Conspiracy and Dark Souls. If you're looking for a cohesive package that's easy to get into and easier to digest, you'll want to steer clear from this one.

But to do that would be to ignore a game that offers some fascinating propositions to the player. What sold me, I think, was an early sequence where I had to relive the death of my dog. I guided my player character to an abandoned farmhouse, then used my weird psychic dream powers to activate a magical crystal. The game then implored me to close my eyes through a soothing session of guided meditation. A calm voice began to ask me questions about a childhood pet, and invited me to think about its entire arc of life. As the game described my pet dying, I couldn't help but to start choking up as I remembered my childhood dog, Peanut, and how I couldn't be there when he passed last year.

Then, when the game prompted me to open my eyes, I picked what my dog looked like a lineup of unique astral projections. Not two steps out of the farmhouse, a small dog came running up to me from the tall grass, and my player-character began to kneel down and play with him. He joined my party, and in the game's menu, "Peanut" appeared under the "Loved Ones" subheading. For one fleeting moment, it felt like Peanut was alive and in the game.

That's the thing about Waking. You have to engage it on its own terms. If you do, it's a magical experience that's entirely your own.

Defy Your Fate

Which isn't to say that excuses Waking's sins outright. Bosses tend to run together a great deal, outside of some imaginative creature designs, and the strange combat never evolves much outside of "throw an object, punch something a lot, repeat." It's also a very buggy game, with weird physics that break as soon as you try to put them through their paces. However, it must be said that this ambitious, fully 3D journey into your own head was made by one man, so the warts can be forgiven to some extent.

So, is Waking a good game? That depends. If you're looking for a polished, complete, mechanically sound and coherent experience, then no, it's not. You'll probably hate this. But if you're willing to open your mind a little bit, to reach deep inside yourself and put it into the game, to explore and engage this thing on its own terms... it might surprise you.

Waking probably won't resonate with most - it's far too oblique and mixed for most, and it's complicated art for weirdos. But as one of those weirdos, I found Jason Oda's unique thesis on life, death, and everything between the two to be an engaging, engrossing, and challenging experience.

A PC copy of Waking was provided to TheGamer for this review. Waking is available now for Xbox One and PC.

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