We all have a Star Wars introduction story. Some of us never got to see the movies until we were adults, and some of us saw it when we were kids. I did not hear of Star Wars until I was five years old. My aunt on my mother's side, while spending time with me, asked if I had seen Star Wars yet. "Star Wars what?" I replied. She sat me down the very next day and we watched the entire original trilogy. Forever afterwards, I loved the series and Star Wars quotes were always at the tip of my tongue (still are, as a matter of fact).
Ask anyone who is a huge Star Wars fan, and I'm sure they can remember the first time they saw it. And now that the series has gotten revitalized by The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi, love for Star Wars can spread to more and more people. Kids can soar into a galaxy far, far away once again, and we will have the opportunity to show it to them as it was once shown to us.
As with anything we saw as children, there are certain things about Star Wars that are mildly (or wildly) inappropriate that we never noticed. As a kid, we never thought about whether or not something was a tad too adult for us, or a bit too dark. But one of my favorite things to do is re-watch all the Star Wars movies and revel in the aspects that might have been ill-suited for me when I was younger. Read on to recall some of the more disturbing or gross moments across all of the Star Wars films. They may not have been suitable for children, but these moments made up some of the happiest parts of my childhood. (And that does not depress me at all. Life well spent.)
25 Vicious Monsters
Ewoks appear to be cute, little bear-creatures, but under further examination, it is revealed that they are quite the monsters. When the Ewoks capture, Han, Luke, Chewie, and the droids in Return of the Jedi, chuckles ensue because they view the neurotic C-3PO as a god. In honor of his appearance, they decide they're going to cook the others and feed them to him. Now, I'm not calling the Ewoks monsters because they eat meat. But seriously, Luke, Han, and Chewie were speaking creatures. They had clearly attempted communicating with the Ewoks with the help of some translating from C-3PO. And the Ewoks still planned to burn them alive for a meal. Who knows how many other hapless beings fell victim to the Ewoks' hunger for sentient flesh. Just because they were scared into not cooking Luke and his friends, doesn't mean they weren't planning to.
24 Father-Daughter Bonding
In the first Star Wars movie, Episode IV when looking at the entire continuity, we are not yet aware that Darth Vader is Luke and Leia's father. He's just the evil figurehead of the Empire who captures Princess Leia (who was on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan, wink-wink nudge-nudge). But looking back on A New Hope with the knowledge that we have about Leia's parentage, the scene where Darth Vader gets information out of her is so much darker. Vader visits Leia in her cell with an IT-O Interrogator droid in order to find out where the hidden rebel base is. Not only is a father repeatedly attacking his daughter in that scene, but the manner in which the Interrogator works is frightening. It injects the prisoner with a chemical that diminishes the pain threshold, making them more susceptible to even the slightest wound.
23 Can No One See This?!
One of the most annoying things that you may not have noticed if you watched the prequels when you were a kid was how irritating and whiny Anakin Skywalker is. While the audience may have noticed and been irked by his petulant behavior, characters in the films seemed to turn a blind eye to it. Obi-Wan, as Anakin's mentor, only lightly rebukes him whenever he was rude. The Jedi Council still thinks Anakin is the "Chosen One" despite his many public tantrums (though beggars can't be choosers, I suppose). And Padme agrees to marry him even after she's seen his whining in action! Anakin's attitude makes him no better than a child. And yet, he is portrayed as the hero of the prequels. Besides helping out Qui-Gon and Padme in The Phanton Menace, name one selfless thing that Anakin did in the movies. His behavior is wildly different from what a hero's should be.
22 Dancing Slaves
Jabba's disgusting enough. You don't have to add to his disgusting qualities. But that's just what they did in Return of the Jedi. I knew Jabba only as the fat worm thing who was keeping Han Solo as a wall decoration when I was fiver years old. I never really stopped to think about the club set-up he had going on in his palace. But think about how really messed up it is that he had dancing slaves kept around him against their will. And they were chained next to him and had to sleep next to him and everything. (And you know he did not smell pleasant.) I cringe every time I watch this part now; it just seems so gratuitous. Ugh, and when Jabba licks his lips, it makes me want to hurl. I only hope he did not do anything else to Oola or Leia.
21 Some People Like These...
By the time Rogue One came out in theaters, I was an adult that could enjoy a movie while still being able to analyze its various qualities. Plus, things that were inappropriate no longer went sailing over my head. And one creature in the film stood out as disturbing: Bor Gullet. Saw Gerrera, the leader of a group of extremely militant rebels known as the Partisans, kept this creature as a kind of lie detector. A Bor Gullet has the ability to see into a person's mind with the added detriment of a large probability that the mind would be ruined in the process. My first problem with the Bor Gullet was what made it seem so inappropriate. In order to read minds, it had to wrap itself completely around its victims. Grossly so. Poor Bodhi Rook, the defector Imperial pilot, was just covered in its tentacles. My second problem was the question of how it would show the information it received. How could the Bor Gullet let Saw know what was in Bodhi's mind?
20 My Young Padawan Learner
Ewan McGregor's performance as Obi-Wan Kenobi was phenomenal. In movies filled with some of the cringiest dialogue imaginable, McGregor managed to make his lines work. So despite not believing Anakin's fall to the Dark Side, I did believe Obi-Wan's grief when he called out to Anakin as his brother on Mustafar. However, immediately afterwards, Obi-Wan behaves in an abominably cruel manner towards one he considered his brother. As Anakin writhed legless by a river of lava, a spark caught in his clothes and he started to burn alive. Obi-Wan, his mentor, turned around and walked away, presumably leaving Anakin to burn to death. Why didn't Obi-Wan try to mercy-end him? Instead, Obi-Wan left Anakin to smolder in pain. Revenge of the Sith, by necessity of Anakin's transformation to Darth Vader, had to be a dark movie, but man, that was one cold move on Obi-Wan's part.
19 Our Favorite Smuggler
Han Solo was our favorite scoundrel to love. By definition, a scoundrel is a bad person, but Han made up for it with his good heart and charming demeanor. That still doesn't change the fact that Han was a smuggler who worked for a gangster. Even in The Phantom Menace, Jabba the Hutt was a crime lord. We forget (or at least we forgive) that Han works for him because Han ends up being a hero alongside Luke. As a kid, I didn't even know that Han was a criminal. Honestly, I just thought a "smuggler" was a special kind of a pilot. But if Han was smuggling stuff for Jabba, odds are they were illegal. I doubt spices were the only things to hide in the Millenium Falcon's floor compartments.
18 Sweet Child Of Mine
One of the biggest complaints about Revenge of the Sith was the unbelievable nature of Anakin's fall to the Dark Side. I think it was hardly credible. He was supposed to be a good guy, but it feels as if Chancellor Palpatine was able to convince him to kill Dooku just a tad too easily. And what was worse was that when Palpatine ordered him to end the rest of the Jedi, Anakin hardly even hesitated. He had no assurances that Palpatine could even give him information that would save Padme, but he just blindly followed Palpatine's directives. We're supposed to feel bad about Anakin's fall. But how are we supposed to sympathize with a man who ends up ending small children? It does not happen onscreen, but there is no doubt that Anakin got rid of those younglings. It's nearly impossible to ignore. Think of all the kids who watched Revenge of the Sith thinking Anakin was the good guy. Imagine their surprise.
17 The Heroic Pilot
As a kid, I wanted nothing more than to be a fighter pilot in an X-Wing. Their ships were cool, their uniforms were cool, and Luke Skywalker as one of them was cool. In the new movies, Poe Dameron personifies the idea of a dashing fighter pilot. But in actuality, he's not the hero we all think he is. In the latest movie, The Last Jedi, Poe Dameron's actions causes dozens of Resistance members to perish. His hotshot attitude makes him distrust Admiral Holdo, Leia's replacement when she was injured. Because he distrusts Holdo, Poe comes up with a plan that jeopardizes the Admiral's. By spoiling Holdo's plans, Poe becomes responsible for the ensuing deaths. That's kind of his lesson in the movie, but I wonder if people watching realize the actual cost of Poe's mistakes.
16 Could You Give Me A Hand With This?
One of the darker traditions of Star Wars is the removal of limbs. My parents were usually pretty good at making sure I watched nothing too violent as a kid, but they must have missed the numerous limb removals in the Star Wars series. That one aggressive thug named Ponda Baba is the first to lose a limb in A New Hope. Luke loses his hand in The Empire Strikes Back; Vader loses his in Return of the Jedi. Darth Maul loses an entire torso in The Phantom Menace. It has become a running joke; there are actual lists about all the limbs lost in Star Wars (there's an idea for a new list here). If there is any series that has desensitized kids to the loss of limbs, it would be Star Wars.
15 Crispy, Not Burnt
Nothing says child trauma quite like a roasted aunt and uncle. We first met Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru right when we met the fresh-faced and youthful Luke Skywalker. Despite the fact that Uncle Owen wanted to keep Luke working on the moisture farm instead of letting him go the Academy, both he and Beru seemed like nice people; it appeared like they really cared about Luke. Unfortunately, they both got incinerated and turned into sizzling skeletons for their trouble. When the stormtroopers track down where the errant R2-D2 and C-3PO were sold to, they head to Luke's home and apparently decided to burn his aunt and uncle when they couldn't find the droids. The loss of Owen and Beru is what starts Luke's adventures with Obi-Wan, and I never realized what a grim way it was to start Luke's travels until after my first viewing.
14 You're Not My Real Dad
Boba Fett was the mysterious villain of the original trilogy who looked really cool, but in actuality, never did anything. In Attack of the Clones, George Lucas decided to give us a peek at Boba Fett's past. It turns out that Boba was the clone of a man named Jango Fett, who was the base model for the clone army the Republic ends up using to fight the Separatists. Something weird that you never think about is the fact that Boba calls Jango "dad." This brings up all sorts of questions. Does Boba know he is a clone? If he does, did Jango tell him to call him dad? And if Boba did not know he was a clone, did he never find out since his father lost his life on the Battle of Geonosis?
13 Dark Dreams
Films try different techniques when they want to let the audience know that a character is experiencing a dream or a vision. Usually, the content of the dream or vision is too crazy to be real, and that's one of the ways we're supposed to know that it isn't. The vision that Luke experienced in the cave on Dagobah ends up being insane. Darth Vader shows up and fights with Luke, Luke cuts off his head, and then the faceplate explodes off of the mask revealing Luke's face within the Darth Vader helmet. His vision is largely up to interpretation, but there is no question that it was a disturbing thing to witness. I had no clue what was going on in Luke's vision. But it did freak me out to see Luke's head rolling around on the ground.
12 My Achy Breaky Heart
Besides being one of the stupidest ways someone went in Star Wars history (nay, in film history), Padme's final scene is also one of the most inappropriate. Despite what you may think, Padme did not perish because of childbirth. As one of the medical droids who was attending her said, she simply "lost the will to live." Before giving birth, she had found out that her husband had turned to the Dark Side, and this news had broken her heart. Now, I'm not saying that finding out your husband is a tyrant is an easy thing to bear. But to just stop living because of it?! What happened to being strong and living for your newborn children? It sends the wrong message to people. It basically says that if you experience grievous emotions, one of your courses of action is to just waste away.
11 A Crushing Blow
Do you remember Dak Ralter? Not many do because he was such a minor character. In case you need a refresher on his identity, Dak was Luke's gunner in the Battle of Hoth, sitting behind Luke in their snowspeeder. During the battle with those giant, lumbering AT-ATs, their snowspeeder is hit, and Dak is knocked out. Well, that's what I thought when I first saw The Empire Strikes Back. Apparently, the shot kills Dak. Anyways, Luke crash-lands the speeder right into the path of an AT-AT. Luke makes it out, but the speeder is crushed, and Dak along with it. To my five-year-old mind, it looked as if Luke abandoned his unconscious friend in the speeder in order to avoid imminent death. But don't worry. It was just Dak's body getting squished. Hmm, why does that feel just as bad?
10 Binks, Master Politician?
Calling someone a politician is usually not a compliment. Unfortunately, the political arena is considered either a joke or a cesspool. Star Wars makes a commentary on the state of things in the prequels. Corruption is tearing the Old Republic apart, leaving room for the Sith to infiltrate government at the highest levels. The most inappropriate aspect of the failings of government is revealed in Attack of the Clones, when we find out that Jar Jar Binks has somehow made himself a representative of Naboo. Jar Jar was the bumbling idiot of The Phantom Menace, the comedic relief. How did he get himself elected? Can no one else see that he is completely incompetent? This is proven when he is tricked into giving Chancellor Palpatine executive emergency powers. Way to go, Jar Jar. You ruined the galaxy.
9 Oh No, Mr. Roboto
This rears its ugly head again in Return of the Jedi. When C-3PO and R2-D2 have to infiltrate Jabba's Palace, they are led through a droid pain room where droids are screaming as hot irons are placed on their feet and where the disintegrated bodies of unwanted droids dangle from the ceiling. Perhaps the scene was meant to really press home how evil Jabba is or perhaps it was meant to be funny. Either way, the scene is actually quite disturbing. Despite the fact that both R2 and 3PO are droids, they come across as more human to us than stormtroopers. Seeing their kind placed under duress can be upsetting, especially for a young, empathetic kid who just so happens to care about what happened to Jabba's former protocol droid.
8 Call Mom Once In A While
One of the things I remember thinking about when I first saw the prequels was that being a Jedi did not sound as cool as it used to. There were a bunch of rules in place that made no sense to me and seemed needlessly cruel. Why did potential Jedi have to be taken away from their families at a young age? Why couldn't Jedi fall in love? And why was it a bad thing that Anakin missed his mom? One of the saddest things we learned in Attack of the Clones was that Anakin had not seen his mother since he left her in The Phantom Menace. Are you saying that not once could he be spared to visit her? He couldn't even go back to Tatooine and free her? Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing that the Sith took over. Since the Sith did not have awful rules about not hanging out with your parents, maybe they were a better option than the Jedi.
7 Love You Like A Brother
Okay, so this is one inappropriate thing in Star Wars that you definitely noticed. Why? Because everybody talks about this plot point like there's no tomorrow. In A New Hope and in The Empire Strikes Back, it seemed as if a love triangle existed between Leia, Luke, and Han Solo. But then, in Return of the Jedi, we find out that Luke and Leia are twin siblings... even though they shared a smooch in each of the previous movies. This... error sparked a debate that has continued to this day: did Luke really have a thing for Leia? As a five-year-old kid, I never minded any of these arguments. I just rolled with it. As an adult, I have to admit, it's a little nauseating seeing Luke and Leia snogging each other.
6 Funeral Arrangements
One thing characters in Star Wars never really worry about are funeral arrangements. They always die by falling into reactor shafts or getting sucked out into the vacuum of space, so I suppose having a plot picked out for yourself must be irrelevant. One thing that never gets noticed is how Qui-Gon Jinn's body is handled at the end of The Phantom Menace. This used to drive me crazy as a kid. (I was not being morbid; I was being practical.) Qui-Gon gets killed on Naboo in front of Obi-Wan; he even has time to impart his dying wish of Obi-Wan training Anakin. But the scene then cuts to Obi-Wan on Coruscant asking Yoda permission to train Anakin, and then it switches back to Naboo for the funeral. Did they seriously just leave Qui-Gon's body on Naboo for a few days and then go back to have the funeral there? Why?
5 Who Loves Who More
One slightly inappropriate thing that occurs in the latest Star Wars movies was Kylo Ren's choices regarding ending your own parents. Snoke, whoever he was, wanted Kylo Ren to end his parents. When Kylo Ren faces off against Han Solo in The Force Awakens, with some creepy mood-lighting in place, Kylo stabs Han Solo with his lightsaber. But, in The Last Jedi, when Kylo Ren had the choice to shoot down the bridge of the starship where his mom, Leia, was located, he didn't. This brought into light the question of who had most of Kylo Ren's love. Turns out, mommy was more important to him than daddy. Dads across the galaxy, weep. The Last Jedi showed kids where the real love was at.
4 Bored To Tears
Trade disputes. Just in case you didn't know, that was what The Phantom Menace began with. The beginning of the movie tossed around the ideas of a planetary blockade, negotiations, and sovereign treaties like a juggling act. I had no idea what was going on as a kid. The movie's saving graces for me were the Boonta Eve Podrace and the final lightsaber duel between Darth Maul and Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn. But the premise? I had no clue. Some things are inappropriate because they are too subversively disturbing for kids even if they may not realize it at the time. Other things are inappropriate because they are too gosh-darned boring for a kid to understand. Heck, even as an adult, I am sometimes bored with this movie. (Though that has never stopped me from re-watching it so many times.)
3 Stalker Tactics
Oh, Anakin. You teach us all the things we shouldn't do in life. The problem is if an impressionable kid were to watch Anakin pursue his love interest, they would think that extreme obsession is the way to go. Anakin met Padme when he was a young boy in The Phantom Menace, but he never forgot her. He relentlessly pursues her and stares at her and touches her without her permission until she finally admits she loves him back. What kind of zany galaxy is this where something like that works?! As far as these prequels go, Star Wars teaches us some pretty inappropriate methods of getting a person to like you back. I don't know what the bigger crime is: Anakin's wooing techniques or the fact that they work.
2 There's No Way Around This One
In both A New Hope and The Force Awakens, many killings are shown onscreen. The magnitude of the destruction is not clearly apparent when seen from space, but make no mistake. We are witnessing entire groups of people being ended. The Death Star destroyed Alderaan, an entire planet of people. We never get close to the destruction, but Obi-Wan is visibly shaken by the death toll he felt through the Force. And Starkiller base does twice as much damage, if not more. It wiped out the planets of an entire system. That's even more people dying. During the firing of Starkiller base, we get a chilling look at the damage from the perspective of some of the people who are planetside. It's horrifying.
1 Raw And Wriggling
Chewie is the lovable humanoid companion of Han Solo, and it is nearly every Star Wars fans' dream to give him a big, old hug. We should be a little leery about the prospect upon further consideration. When the Ewoks baited a trap in Return of the Jedi, they used raw meat as bait. Chewbacca smelled it, was attracted to it, and that is why everybody got caught. Chewbacca, as Han said, was "thinking with his stomach." Hold on there. Are you telling me that Chewbacca eats raw animal meat? Blood and everything? He doesn't even cook it? I know Chewie looks more animal than man, and he has those sharp gnashers. But I never thought that raw meat was something he would consider tasty. I feel like I found out my favorite teddy bear has a hankering for blood. Oh well. He's still Chewie.
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