The Witcher games boast a cast of colorful characters — perhaps none more colorful than Dandelion the bard, a longtime friend and trusted confidant of Geralt of Rivia's. This flamboyant figure has featured prominently in many of the witcher's adventures, most recently in The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt.

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Yet, there are lot of things about Dandelion that escape the very confines of logic and reason. Whether it's certain aspects of his character or the way his extravagant personality conflicts with the grim and somber tone of the world around him, here are ten things about Dandelion that make no sense.

10 His Clothes

The first thing that is immediately strange about Dandelion is his attire. While most characters are either wearing functional armor or nondescript outfits, Dandelion is decked out like he's attending a party in a palace. There are some characters who wear similarly audacious clothes, but they tend to be nobility.

He wears these clothes throughout the entirety of Wild Hunt as well. It doesn't matter if he's captured by the Temple Guard or running his Cabaret — he'll be dressed head to toe in the least practical, most gaudy clothing imaginable.

9 His Name

Dandelion is a man of many names — from his own alias in the games to the name Jaskier in the original Polish or the Netflix show. His actual name is Julian Alfred Pankratz, Viscount de Lettenhove, which comes up somewhat rarely.

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This means that Dandelion is just a moniker, a nickname — but we never actually find out why he's called that. There's nothing about the man to suggest why he'd be named after a common weed, so one has to wonder just where he picked up this unusual title.

8 The Sigi Reuven Heist

Dandelion is a bard, which means his specialties are singing, composing, and playing his lute. Not included on that list are strategic thinking, criminal larceny, and heisting.

And yet, those are exactly the skills he employs in Wild Hunt as we learn that he was involved in a plot to rob crime lord Count Sigi Reuven. More than that, he masterminded the whole affair — and he succeeded, cleaning out the vault of its treasures. It's a surprising showing from one who professes to be just a bard.

7 His Friendship With Zoltan

Zoltan Chivay is a dwarven warrior who traveled with Geralt's company prior to the games' events on a search for Ciri. Dandelion was also a part of that company, which is where these two met and became good friends.

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Which, as the theme of this list would suggest, doesn't make much sense. Dandelion is a pampered bard who has never had to deal with real hardship, while Zoltan is a seasoned soldier, veteran of many conflicts. Despite this, Wild Hunt sees the two of them starting a cabaret as partners.

6 The Crimson Avenger Plot

Speaking of that cabaret, one of the game's side quests has to aiding Dandelion in his goal of getting it off the ground. The first task is securing funding, which he intends to accomplish by staging a fight with Geralt posing as a brigand and he as the heroic Crimson Avenger to impress one of his many romances.

The only thing more ridiculous than this scheme is that it seems to actually work. As it turns out, the woman Dandelion was hoping to "rescue" is an avid admirer of the "dashing, roguish hero" trope and she immediately funds the cabaret.

5 His Narration

Witcher 3 Screenshot Of Dandelion

Dandelion provides two forms of narration throughout the game — one during cutscenes that appearing occasionally and on loading screens, and one in the journal where he describes the various characters you encounter. Both of these narratives are comprehensive, covering all details of the story.

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This implies that at some point, Geralt sat down with Dandelion and told him all about the adventures he went on. However, a lot of this information is pretty sensitive and likely not the sort of thing that stoic Geralt would share with his loose-lipped friend — so where's this narration coming from?

4 His Charm

Dandelion is, canonically, a serial womanizer. He has wooed, charmed, flirted with, and generally courted countless women, and a large number of them have accepted his advances. The question is — why? Why do so many people find him irresistible?

He certainly displays a huge amount of confidence and bravado, though the charm of these is dubious at best. And it's not as if he's simply wooing random women throughout the world - he managed to, at one point in time, capture the heart of the Duchess of Toussaint, Anna Henrietta.

3 His Relationship With Priscilla

Priscilla is introduced in Wild Hunt as a female version of Dandelion. She does match that description, to an extent. She is, like Dandelion, a very talented bard whose songs are popular and her singing exalted. Unlike Dandelion, she doesn't seem to follow his somewhat promiscuous lifestyle.

And still, the two of them are shown to care deeply for one another. Through out the quests of Cabaret and Carnal Sins, and before these when Dandelion is held captive by the Temple Guard, they both worry and express concern for the other. Their bond is strong, although where exactly is comes from is not really explained.

2 How He's Still Alive

Witcher 3 Dandelion Gwent Card

Seriously, how is Dandelion still with the living? The world of the Witcher, whether we're talking the books, the games, or the Netflix show, is one of brutality and death. People can die for any number of reasons, be it a bandit raid or a chance encounter with a monster.

Dandelion himself has been in a fair amount of danger through his life, from his time in Geralt's company to his presence in Novigrad during the witch burnings. Somehow, he's managed to escape grisly death for years, despite not being equipped to do so.

1 His Friendship With Geralt

Finally, the last thing that doesn't make sense about Dandelion is his friendship with Geralt. Sure, from a narrative standpoint, he's a perfect foil, countering Geralt's silence and cynicism with mirth and optimism, but foils aren't exactly a thing in real life.

Realistically, a gruff witcher like Geralt doesn't have time to be looking after a helpless, annoying bard, and would cut ties with him very quickly. Despite this, the two have been on a number of adventures together. Their friendship is a strange thing and perhaps the least sensible aspect of Dandelion's entire character.

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