As the largest and most long-lasting MMORPG ever, World of Warcraft now contains over 116,000 different unique items. And while most of them are useful at least in some way, some of them will make you wonder why Blizzard even bothered to implement them in the game. Sure, many items are there just as clever Easter eggs, inside jokes, or merely to be sold to vendors for a small bit of gold. Though, it's especially puzzling when these useless items come in the form of rare gear that ends up being nothing but a huge disappointment to eager player. In this list, we're counting down the 10 most intriguingly useless equip items we've found in the game so far. Enjoy!
10 Crystal of Zin-Malor
Although intended as a quest item, this famously useless trinket has found its way into many players' bag slots due to its peculiarity. Equipping the Crystal of Zin-Malor spells death for anyone who isn't "worthy." Spoiler alert: no one has ever been worthy. And although the trinket may seem incredibly useless and weird, resourceful WoW players have found several uses for it way back in Vanilla, such as a quick solution to getting your character stuck or bypassing locked dungeon doors.
9 The Stoppable Force
An obvious spoof of the epic two-handed mace called The Unstoppable Force, this item will drop pretty much from any mob from Outland to Northrend, yet we can guarantee with a decent level of certainty that not a single player in the history of the game ever saw it and thought "Hey! I could use this!" The Stoppable Force has become a unique part of the WoW culture for being so common that every player questing throughout Azeroth has encountered it at least once, before undoubtedly selling it to a vendor for some extra gold.
8 Belbi's Eyesight Enhancing Romance Goggles
...or "B.E.E.R. Goggles," this gimmicky item was introduced to the game as part of the in-game Brewfest event. The goggles act as a head piece item, yet provide zero stats or armor. Though, the item's uselessness as a gear piece is offset by its fun ability. The item comes in both horde and alliance versions. Upon equipping this into your head slot, most of the character models you see will be replaced by male gnomes.
While, for the Horde version of the item, the effect will replace everyone with female orcs. Useless as it may be in a practical sense, the Eyesight Enhancing Romance Goggles are just another one of those hilarious items that makes WoW such a fun game.
7 Cloak of Rot
At first glance, this may seem like very other low-level item. However, the Cloak of Rot, along with a few other similar items from Vanilla WoW, shared a striking peculiarity. It literally reduced your character stats for wearing it. These negative stats were later removed from the game for obvious reasons, but it just goes to show how useless some items in Vanilla could be. The Cloak of Rot is especially useless considering it's a green item that removes a hefty amount of one of the most important stats while leveling - stamina.
6 The Lion Horn of Stormwind
Items like the Lion Horn of Stormwind make you wonder if Blizzard was being serious when they added them to the game. When it comes to useless wow items, this one probably takes the cake. Despite being an epic drop, implying a powerful effect, the Lion Horn of Stormwind does ...nothing. The chances of it activating are 1%, which in WoW translates to practically never. And when by some chance it does trigger, the 250 armor buff seems so low we're inclined to think Blizzard forgot to add another zero at the end. We wouldn't be surprised, given that the trinket indeed contains a typo in its description. On the flip side, the trinket is bind-on-equip, meaning you might have a chance of selling it to some poor soul via Auction House.
5 103 Pound Mightfish
The 103 Pound Mightifsh was never intended to be used as a weapon. Yet, it's existence alone makes it a worthy mention for this list.
The item fits into an off-hand weapon slot, yet provides absolutely no additional damage or stats. It's not even worth vendoring it, given the 2 silver sale price, so it's best kept as a spoof item to show off to your friends. To get one of these, you'll have to be lucky enough to fish it out, as it's a rare fishing drop.
4 Earthslag Shoulders
The original World of Warcraft was bound to have some ridiculous items and mistakes that were later corrected. One such item were the Earthslag Shoulders. For the Alliance side, this is a great upgrade for a leveling Paladin. However, for the Horde side, it's the most useless item that can drop in Classic. This is because Paladins are the only healers able to wear plate armor, and with the class not available for the Horde side, the item becomes something no sane Hordie will ever equip.
3 Red Defias Mask
No rogue is complete without a Defias Mask. This item deserves a spot on this list for the sheer level of popularity it enjoys, despite being as useless as a gear-piece item can ever get. Made to be used exclusively by rogues, Defias Masks offer no armor or stats of any kind. The funny thing is, rogues would spend hours on end grinding the Deadmines in order to obtain it, as it provided a unique look to their assassin. Nowdays, thanks to transmogrification, the item is a bit more useful, as its looks can be transferred to any other item - one that preferably offers some stats.
2 Soap on a Rope
You've heard of elf on the shelf... Bad jokes aside, Soap on a Rope is an intriguing neck piece that, like some other items on this list, offers absolutely no stats or armor. The print on the item seems to make little sense as well. The item can be purchased in Shattrath from an NPC called Griftah for a hefty 1 gold, who seems to be a WoW version of a scam artist selling nothing but useless items for way too much gold. So why did we include this one in particular? Well, apart from it being completely useless with an entertaining inscription on it, it's also rumored to play a part in a series of secret quests.
1 Spire of the Stoneshaper
Imagine raiding Blackrock Depths with your Warlock and seeing a beautiful rare staff with a hefty amount of intellect drop, only to read the abomination of its on-use effect which renders it practically useless. The staff literally freezes your character in place for 10 seconds, and makes you unable to use spells or attack. Why? For a buff of 1000 armor, just so you have that extra second to watch enemies murder your character, unable to move.