When it comes to Pokémon's Generation Seven designs, they're actually pretty great. There are some very inspired designs such as all three middle starter evolutions, Mimikyu and the star that is Alolan Exeggutor. Was Oricorio necessary? Not in the slightest, but it was fantastic. However, there are duds in every single Pokédex, and today we'll be looking at the Alolan Pokédex to see which are the worst ten of them all. Without any further ado, let's get right into the cat that just could not stay a cat.
Couldn't you have just stayed on all four legs? Why did you have to get up? Incineroar's design itself isn't terrible, big old wrestler cat is fine. What's upsetting is what we almost had, we were just so close a really cool cat Pokémon. We really still don't have one of those. We have Big Head and Purugly. Thus, Incineroar's design itself isn't truly that bad. Instead, his downfall comes from what he could have been had he not gotten up and started walking. And wrestling. You were a cat five seconds ago when were you learning how to wrestle?
Alright, we all know the jokes here, but was Gumshoos legitimately based on Donald Trump? If he wasn't, what in God's name is this thing? There is no other inspiration that Gumshoos could have taken after. It's such a weird one. Remember when this is what Game Freak showed off when Breath of the Wild was being fully showcased? Ah... the times. You know what... let's just talk about something that isn't Gumshoos anymore. The next Pokémon is probably much better.
HAHAHAHAH! Who designed Bruxish? They deserve the world. Game Freak, give them a raise, a promotion, everything. Bruxish is an absolute mess that knows exactly what it is doing and the game it is playing. The eyes, the lips. Bruxish exudes a power that none of us could ever begin to understand. Bruxish has a plan. If you know what's good for you, you'll get out of the way.
Hi there Pyukumuku. Any idea what you are little guy? Neither do we. Pyukumuku is a nice little black oval ball with pink spikes sticking out of him. Okay? Oh, wait we have a nice quote about Pyukumuku from the Pokémon Wikia, "Pyukumuku is capable of spitting its organs out through its mouth. The white organs can take different shapes, such as a fist." Um... let's move on to the next Pokémon, shall we?
Look at Turtonator. Look into his eyes. Turtonator is mad that Turtonator looks like Turtonator. With his weird red and brown body that just can't seem to make any curves, Turtonator is the newest fire turtle added to the Pokémon series, something we have seen before (but better). Turtonator just seems like a Pokémon that didn't really get finished, which led to them sticking it into Pokémon Sun as an exclusive. Turtonator is just one of the Alola Region's weakest offerings.
Originally introduced in Ultra Moon... we have a pile of sentient bricks? The Ultra Beasts themselves are a cool concept, and lots of them have interesting designs. Stakataka is literally just a small house except for the small differences that it is sentient and looking at you and is ready to use Trick Room at any given moment. Look, people love to make the claims that Game Freak gave up or ran out of ideas literally all the time (which they obviously haven't), but what were they thinking when it came to Stakataka? This was not the move when it came to designing new Ultra Beasts for the Ultra games.
Ultra Sun's exclusive Ultra Beast is also not great, but this one is just unsettling. Blacephalon is supposed to resemble a clown, and its strange gait sees its enemies lowering their defenses before it strikes. Ooh, and it attacks by exploding its own head, as we all do every now and then. Blacephalon might be a bit more inspired than the stack of bricks that is Stakataka, but that is a low bar to hit, and Blacephalon isn't really doing anything that noteworthy either. Oh, besides being terrifying.
3 Alolan Geodude
And now we're on to the Alolan forms. Many of them, like the Ultra Beasts, were super fun and creative. And Alolan Geodude also exists. Alolan Golem actually does some interesting things. Geodude grew a few hairs and some eyebrows. Let's not discount them though. They're some very powerful eyebrows. But that's it. That is all that Alolan Geodude is bringing to the table, which is sad. This rock with hands could have used a bit more sprucing up than what his Alolan form was able to provide. But still, those eyebrows are something, aren't they?
2 Alolan Dugtrio
Alright, look, if we're going to tear down Alolan Geodude for literally growing hairs for his Alolan form, then we need to do the same for Alolan Dugtrio, Diglett too. But, come on. They look so good. Personally, Alolan Dugtrio is one of my favorite Alolan forms due to the sheer absurdity of it. An absolute portrait of grace, elegance, class. The other girls are quaking. However, we have to keep up appearances here. As such, with the heaviest of hearts, Alolan Dugtrio takes a spot on this list. We love you forever. By the way, the middle one has the best wig and that's not up for discussion.
1 Alolan Raticate
Alolan Raticate is... well it sure is Raticate. Seeing Raticate take on a new look was refreshing for a moment, but just as fast as Kantonian Raticate got boring, so did Alolan Raticate. It really is just the same thing as its Kantonian variant... maybe with some bigger cheeks? That's about it. Like the other Alolan forms on this list, Alolan Raticate doesn't bring anything new to the table to make it stand out, which is why it claims a spot as one of the most disappointing Generation Seven designs out there.